This blog is a continuation of the following blogs
Self Victimization – “I am to tired” – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 235
“I Can’t Handle ALL This Stuff” – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 234
Following Through – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 233
Fake Commitments – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 232
Statements as “Escape Routes” to Avoid Change – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 231
In this blog I am continuing with the Self Commitment Statements on the Self Forgiveness I did in my last blog on the back-chat statement “I am to tired” in relation to the point of Self Victimization.
When and as I see myself imposing a limitation onto my expression through by speaking the statement “I am to tired” I stop and I breathe. I realize that this back-chat statement of “I am to tired” is in fact an excuse and also is interchangeable with other “excuses” and so is in fact not “thee point” but that within myself I have in a way already given up on myself and am now “looking for excuses” to not do what is best for all, where in I will speak and participate with the inner back-chat statement “ I am too tired”. I commit myself when and as I see this back-chat statement coming up within me to investigate what it is that I am wanting to escape or hide from in my life, so thus finding the actual source of why I would be accepting and allowing myself to speak the back-chat statement “I am to tired” within me as an excuse to escape or avoid doing what is best for me and best for all.
When and as I see myself speaking the back-chat statement “I am to tired” as a pre-programmed defence mechanism, I stop and I breathe. I realize that this statement has in fact limited me within my life from the perspective of disabling me from Living in a practical physical way that support me to develop and strengthen myself as a being able and capable and in fact Living what is best for all. I see that I have utilized this excuse of “I am to tired” when facing my world and facing Responsibilities within my world that in doing/walking/living no doubt would assist and support me to Align myself as a Living Example of What is best for all, but that I did not do, but postponed doing daily through speaking the statement “I am to tired” instead of pushing myself through in the moment to actually walk my Responsibilities that are actually best for me and best for all. Thus, when I encounter a moment where before me is a responsibility/task that is aligned with assisting and supporting myself to becoming a living example of what is best for all, and I see this back-chat statement coming up of “I am to tired” I stop and I breathe. I commit myself to in that/those moments opt for in fact Directing myself within the point/responsibility that apparently “I am to tired for”, doing this as a practical point of self expansion and assisting and supporting myself to no more allow this point of limitation within me where I will continually time after time opt out of moving/directing/pushing myself through my “defined tiredness” to walk a point that practically support me in my process of self development/realization. I also in such moments, commit myself to within pushing/moving myself through the perceived/defined/experienced tiredness to direct my responsibility to observe and take note of the reactions that come up in doing this, as this is also showing me other dimensions of this experience/point to look at investigate. Reactions that I would/will never get to, reveal to myself within in the beginning accepting and allowing myself to participate with the back-chat statement “I am to tired” where in I’d never actually move myself to give direction to the responsibility and thus not see the “reactions” coming up in relation to this, and thus overall never really assisting and supporting myself to Correct this part of me effectively as I was/have been in essence taking the first excuse that come up to simply avoid the entire point all together.
When and as I see myself “looking for a way out” within and as speaking/participating with the back-chat statement “I am to tired” I stop and I breathe. I realize how in my life I avoid/postpone my responsibilities until these points build up and build up where I routinely will participate in a pattern of postponement utilizing all sorts of excuses to simply not STOP myself and Direct My Practical Responsibilities that I have been avoiding, where its like I will just allow myself to “look the other way” constantly where then I will quickly without any hesitation or questioning participate and follow back-chat such as “I am to tired” where I will just follow this back-chat statement like a slave, where what is really going on is that I am not wanting to STOP and LOOK at my world, and how I have been Living, and thus in doing this Take Responsibility For My Daily Living so that it is in fact Aligned with what is best for all. I commit myself to when and as I see myself “looking for a way out” within and through following the back-chat statement “I am to tired” , I commit myself to in that moment do not simply Follow this back-chat statement with such ease, but assist and support myself Direct Myself to Investigate what it is about my life that I am avoiding / not wanting to face, and thus Direct myself to Take Responsibility for myself and my life where I assist and support myself to stop veering so far “off track” but Direct myself to Identify the Disharmonious points within me (inner) and within my life (outter), and thus Correct them, practicing doing this “Immediately” instead of allowing things to get way the fuck out to lunch before I will finally stop and Address the disharmonious parts/points/aspects of me and my Living Expression. I see that when I allow my disharmonies to escalate and accumulate I will eventually get to a point where I will end up sleeping more and thus would be more inclined to participate with the back-chat “I am to tired” and so thus here I commit myself to work with myself and practicing finding Immediate Solutions where I will address points more directly and more immediately instead of waiting and waiting until things get really out of hand.
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