This blog is a continuation from the following blogs
“I Can’t Handle ALL This Stuff” – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 234
Following Through – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 233
Fake Commitments – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 232
Statements as “Escape Routes” to Avoid Change – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 231
In this blog I am continuing on with self forgiveness on the back-chat dimension of my Victimization Personality/Character. I see that I often use this particular Character/Personality to avoid Self Responsibility and Standing up within and as the Principle of what is best for all. The Back-Chat statement I am working with today is “I am to tired”
forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose limitations onto myself by through speaking the inner back-chat statement “I am to tired” where I will repeatedly impulse myself within speaking this statement over and over until I direct myself according to the statement.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to victimize myself through where I speak the statement “I am to tired” where this statement influence my direction/actions, instead of always doing what is best for all and actually best for me, where in I would see/realize/understand that I am NOT “to tired” as my mind dictate but that this statement is actually a pre-programmed defence mechanism that come up within me as an excuse to protect the mind from the perspective of ensuring that I send enough time in my mind to keep my mind/ego secure and well nuroushed with attention and energy, ensuring that I do not actually direct me here in and as the physical within the principle of what is best for all which does not support the mind/ego, that is based on self interest.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be “looking for a way out” so that when this statement of “I am to tired” come up within me, I will quickly “take it” to get out of applying myself within and as that which is actually best for me and will assist and support me to become effective within my life.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand how the Living of the statement of “I am to tired” has caused me to limit myself within my life, where I have spent so much time living out this statement instead of doing something that is actually practically supportive for me, and thus that I have wasted hours and hours and hours and hours Living the statement “I am to tired” instead of Living the Statement “doing what is best for all”.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that to do what is best for all, in no way implies abuse of self, and so that thus, I cannot actually utilize the excuse that “doing what is bests for all” is to hard and cause me to not get enough rest” as doing what is best implies actually Self Support, which I see/realize/understand.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to establish effective communication and thus relationships with all parts of my physical body, so that I am able to assess if I am “too tired or not”.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to use tiredness as an escape.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself within the point of tiredness where I speak the words “I am to tired” to do what is best for all, but meanwhile would in the next instant be able to do something that support the mind, like entertain myself for instance, but that where tiredness becomes “an issue” is in relation to directing/moving myself within and as what is best for all, and also even supporting myself to establish Self Awareness of myself, through for instance my writings/self investigations/self forgiveness etc, where the point of “I am to tired” will come up in such instances of supporting myself but will dissipate when I am simply indulging or entertaining me within and as the mind, which indicate that I am in fact utilize the statement “I am too tired” as a point of self manipulation and also self victimization.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself within the statement “I am too tired” where I will use this point to victimize me as if “I can go no further” from the perspective like “I want to do it but I just can’t” because “I am too tired” and so in this way manipulate and victimize myself making it seem like “I am to tired” when all the while, it is my mind that is going into resistance, and not that I am physically to tired.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to also utilize the back-chat statement “I am too tired” from a “mental perspective” meaning where I am “mentally tired” and cannot concentrate any more, and so within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak the back-chat statement within me, “I am too tired” referring to my ability and capacity to concentrate for long periods of time, where I have essentially accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within this expression, not considering that its not that I am to tired but more that “I don’t want to do it any more” because I have had numerous occasions where I have been tired and exhausted and was enjoying what I was doing and so then simply continued on until I really could not more concentrate, and so I see here that I utilize this statement of “I am to tired” to actually “get out of” doing something that I don’t want to do, and is thus self manipulation and self victimization.
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