This is a continuation of the following blogs
Statements as “Escape Routes” to Avoid Change – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 231
CONvincing Myself “I can’t do this” – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 230
“When Can I Just Relax” – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 228
“I am So Stressed Out” – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 227
Hiding Behind “This is Such a Waste of Time” – An Artists Journey To Life – Day 226
Prioritizing Practicality – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 225
“Its Not Fair” – Victimization Personality : An Artists Journey To Life – 224
When and as I see myself when facing moments of change, bringing up the statement within myself or speaking the statement within myself “I can’t do this” I stop and I breathe. I realize that this statement as I have accepted and allowed it to exist within and as me is in fact disempowering me and preventing me to in fact change me due to how I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize this statement by/through bringing it up/participating with it during/within moments of change, where I would in a way “give myself an out” instead of actually changing me, and so I commit myself to when and as I see myself utilizing this statement “I can’t do it” within and during potential moments of change, to stop and breathe and do not participate with this statement but instead rather assist and support myself to develop my resolve and “absoluteness” within decision making and my living where in when I am approaching a point/task that I am walking or preparing to walk that I Align myself to an Absoluteness within my commitment to such a point no more accepting and allowing myself to “hold” this statement of and as “I can’t do it” within and as me as like a “back-door” that I keep filed away within me with the purpose of at some point “down the road” bringing up this statement “when things get tough” and I no more want to continue walking the point/task that I have committed myself to and so here within stopping and deleting this statement from within and as me I commit myself to Align myself to considering the “complete picture” of walking a particular task/point looking at ALL the aspects and doing this from the starting point of in fact actually walking it through to the end, something that I did not have to actually consider as long as I held onto this back-chat statement of “I can’t do this” within and as me because as long as I had/have this statement filed away within me for future use at some time down the road, I have/had been in effective making commitments that were not real commitments but always had a “escape route” worked in, thus I was NOT in fact really looking at the in fact actual practical reality of walking a point through from beginning to end because I did not have to look at this because within myself I knew that I had this “back-door” statement of and as “I can’t do this” which I could simply take as an “escape route” when things got tough. And so I commit myself to when I am writing my self commitments really look at such commitments from the starting point of Absoluteness where I am/will in fact walk/Live my commitments I write/script for myself for real and not just have my commitments be nice words that I may or may not Live.
When and as I see myself looking for “an out” as a reason/excuse/justification to not walk a particular commitment that I have made for myself that I know to not walk such a commitment is not best for me at all, and is in fact abusive in nature, I stop and breathe. I see/realize/understand that in my searching for/looking for such “outs” that I have compromised myself within who I am from the perspective of actually allowing myself to exist as less than who I really am, not at all living to my full potential. I also see/realize/understand that this statement of “I can’t do this” has become/is a “fall-back” statement that I have programmed myself to use instead of actually “seeing a point through” and that this thus then has been a KEY reason why I have not ever changed or have not yet fully stood up and walked myself within actual Self Change in my process. I see/realize/understand how this statement “I can’t do this” has been catalyst in supporting me to never change and remain locked into the same patterns that I have pre-programmed myself to live where I am not actually Directing Myself at all and really LIVING my life but am just repeating the same patterns over and over and over and over again, never breaking out of them, never changing. And so I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to utilize/speak the statement “I can’t do this” as internal back-chat that I speak within myself when facing moments of potential change where I just want to give into the old pattern, and do not want to actually change myself and giving up that which I am so used to, that which I fear losing, and then so would to avoid losing that which I have become as my past, as what I am used to, I would speak the statement “I can’t do this” which is also showing here that this is a statement of FEAR, specifically Fear of Losing that which I in fact will NO MORE participate in as the Old Patterns that I have accepted and allowed myself to pre-program as the patterns of my life that I have lived that do not in fact support me or support what is best for all.
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