I am going to pause with my explorations into my Victimization Character and today look at my current more Immediate experience of myself.
The Christmas “holiday” is now over and so I am getting myself back into my “normal routine” I have experienced allot of doubts coming up about Art recently. During the holiday break I decided to just put the art stuff on hold, though over the last few days I have noticed different experiences of doubts and uncertainties starting to move around within me and starting more and more to come up and be present inside me.
One doubt that has emerged is in relation to “Where I will be in the future” with this point, particularly from the perspective of “what will my art look like”, “what kind of art will I be doing” It is interesting because Its like I am wanting to see “what kind of art will make me successful” and then I am trying to “see” that so that “I know what to do” when obviously I see that the way to approach this is to simply DO the Art, and that this will be the best approach to understanding how this point will work, where I see that the effective approach is to “Focus on the Physical” and then seeing and adjusting as I go, but to work with actual tangible stuff, and then testing what paintings/art work or even emerge that I can in no way predict but will only emerge through the actual physical process of doing it. And then I can test to see how those points work on my art shop and simply walk in that manner, one step at a time, adjusting, testing, modifying, specifying, refining as I go.
One point that I have been looking at today is setting up a more consistent application within doing my art from the perspective of having time each day that I dedicate to doing art, where I allow myself to “Explore” within this point, meaning not waiting until I “have something” before I do art but allowing myself to simply just explore if I do not know exactly what I will be doing. In this working into my schedule a point where I am putting Time into the Art daily.
I can see that my experience of myself in relation to this point is in part due to the Christmas break where I was not moving this point, and so the uncertainties had some “room” to start to fester and take root.
I have written about this Art Point before so here tonight have just revisited it just to clarify and solidify some direction with regards to getting myself back into this point since after the Christmas break.
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