This is a continuation from the following blogs
“I am So Stressed Out” – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 227
Hiding Behind “This is Such a Waste of Time” – An Artists Journey To Life – Day 226
Prioritizing Practicality – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 225
“Its Not Fair” – Victimization Personality : An Artists Journey To Life – 224
I am continuing here with exploring/investigating the backchat dimension of my “Victimization Character”. Today I will be opening up the back-chat statement “when can I just relax”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak inside myself the back-chat “when can I just relax”
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I am responsible for my experience of myself and that within the back-chat statement “when can I just relax” that I am blaming some external point for my experience as if I am not responsible for my experience, and that I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to take my experience of myself into my hands in every breath realizing that I am directing and creating the experience of me in each breath, and so to assist and support myself to become stable within my expression and living.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself from the perspective of defining my experience of me as being something that is out of my control and happening to me and not seeing/realizing/understanding the equal and one relationship I have within creating my experience of me which thus implies that I am able to change my experience, and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain about my experience after I have created it, which only perpetuate my accepted and allowed relationship that I have with myself where the relationship I have with myself has been one where I am unaware of how I have created my experience and thus am not in fact directing my experience and directing myself with deliberateness and specificity so to develop and align myself to a harmonious and balanced expression that allow me to express me to my optimum potential as a life form that exist.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to empower myself to in fact take part in my own creation, instead of accepting and allowing this to exist within a point where it feels like it is just happening to me that I have no control over.
I commit myself to explore and investigate all the inner statements as back-chat that dis-empower me in relation to my experience, and to thus assist and support myself to stop all such inner statements so that I can learn what it means to actually create myself and this world deliberately in self awareness where I understand how I am creating the experience of me and my life in absolute detail, so that when nothing just “suddenly happen” or that I have an experience that “unexpectedly come over me” but that I am aware of what I am creating and knowing the outflow of what I participate in and direct myself within.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to fully take responsibility for my stress, and thus understanding how I have and how I do create stressful experiences within and as myself and to within seeing how I have created such experiences change my accepted and allowed behaviour so that it no more do that which create and generate “stress” approaching it from the starting point of investigating all the intricacies of how I construct the experience of stress point by point, action by action, acceptance by acceptance, word by word, statement by statement, instead of just grouping everything together in the end and within speaking such a statement of “when can I just relax” which does not at all give any direction to the point of in fact understanding how I have created and constructed my experience brick by brick.
I see/realize/understand that I can relax when I have in fact actually understood how I am creating my experience of stress and that a practical directive I can take to Walk Myself to a point of Self Relaxation is to investigate in writing and in detail this part/aspect of my world in how I create stressful experiences within myself so that I can see what I am doing and stop. So the Answer to the question “when can I relax” is not so much of an answer so to speak but that I see that I am able to assist and support myself to take responsibility for myself and this point within identifying the processes at work that I participate in when I am creating stress, and not expecting some magic result to just suddenly appear like a god send where suddenly I am relaxed – because this is not me taking responsibility for myself and understanding how to support myself to be stable within my expression, which I commit myself to do/assist and support myself to develop/become aware of/ live. So to actually empower myself within beginning the process of understanding how I create stress within myself instead of continually disempowering myself within the back-chat statement “when can I just relax”.
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