This blog is a continuation from the previous blogs
BackChat – I am Slave – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 220
Inner Voice of Inequality – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 219
Manipulating Myself with The Voice in My Head – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 218
#%$# Why Can’t I just Do What I Want – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 217
Victimization Character – BackChat Dimension – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 216I
I am continuing today with the Self Commitment Phase of the Self Forgiveness I wrote in Day 220 where I looked at the back-chat statement “I am slave”
I commit myself to investigate to assist and support myself to take responsibility for who I have become, where within this I no more accept and allow myself to “exist as a slave” as this implies that there would be parts of myself that I would still accept and allow to direct and control me and tell me what to do, instead of being stable within myself and in this stability able to move and direct me effectively within Self Support.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself through by speaking the back-chat statement within myself “I am a slave”
When and as I see myself getting to a point within myself where I just want to speak the back-chat “I am slave” to within myself take a breathe and stabilize me within me, realizing that I have walked to long within accepting and allowing myself to allow my reactions and experience of self to get the best for me where I at times then end up a point where I am so frustrated that I speak the back-chat within me “I am slave” instead of assisting and supporting myself to find and effective way for me to Support Myself and walk through such reactions where I remain here and no go into, in this case, A point of self victimization where I would speak the statement within myself “I am slave” And so instead here I commit myself to assist and support myself to develop applications of self support so that I can change me from a being with a Self Destructive nature to a Being with a Self Supportive nature, because it is common sense that if I have a nature that is predominantly self destructive than this imply that I would create/accept and allow a world that destroy itself as that would be the outter reflecting the inner and thus I commit myself to assist and support myself to become a Self Supportive point of Life so that that which reflect as my outter within the world around me that I am creating is thus then also self supportive.
And so here I commit myself to assist and support myself to instead of reacting in a self destructive way that is linked to the point of self victimization, I assist and support myself to Change this application/behaviour of and as myself and thus to instead find ways to stabilize myself when I am faced with moments where normally I would accept and allow myself to just react and in some instances speak the back-chat “I am slave” as a point of “speaking out of frustration” which I see is related the point of how I victimize myself also, and live out the point of self victimization within myself/my life.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand what I am implying through speaking/accepting and allowing the statement “I am slave” within and as me, and thus that I have spoken such a back-chat statement within and as me without taking into consideration where such a statement came from and how I have defined this statement within me and where I have utilized this statement without awareness, without seeing/realizing/understand the exact nature and context of such a statement and who I become / create myself and my world to be within speaking such back-chat within myself.
I see/realize/understand that I am not taking responsibility for myself and my experience/reactions when I accept and allow myself to speak such a back-chat statement within myself from the perspective that I see that this back-chat statement of “I am a slave” often come once enough reactions/energies have been charged up within myself where I will reach a point where I will either accept and allow myself to “go into a reaction” where I will accept and allow myself to “be overwhelmed” by such reactions where this this back-chat statement of “I am a slave” come up now to facilitate this acceptance and movement of myself into the point of “being overwhelmed” by my experiences/reactions/inner energies. Or I will stop and breathe and stabilize myself not accepting and allowing myself to speak such a back-chat statement as I see that this only support the point of me “becoming overwhelmed” by my experience of myself and my life where ultimately this lead to and/or is connected to self victimization where instead to standing up and assisting and supporting myself to Stablize myself within myself and within my world (in relation to my experience) so that I can direct myself effectively, I will become wrought with my experience and allow this to direct me instead and so here I commit myself to when and as I see the back-chat statement “I am a slave” to come up within me or any other back-chat statements that come up within me that I see are related to linked to the point of actually victimizing myself in relation to my experience I STOP and I instead do not participate in such “permission” back-chat statements that is permission I give to me to become overwhelmed and consumed my my inner experience, and so thus I breathe and assist and support myself to develop ways to stabilize myself within my world, within my life, within myself so that I can be stable and Direct myself within the principle of what is best for all.
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