Manipulating Myself with The Voice in My Head – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 218

Becoming Aware of The Mind - Andrew Gable, 2012

This blog is a continuation of looking at the back-chat dimension of the point of Self Victimization.

Previous Blogs:

#%$# Why Can’t I just Do What I Want – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 217
Victimization Character – BackChat Dimension – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 216

In todays blog I am continuing with the back-chat dimension that I have identified within myself in relation to the point of Self Victimization or “Victimization Character” that I am looking at/exploring as a personality of myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live/exist as within me.

Backchat – “Man I have so much to do”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak the back-chat statement “man I have so much to do” within myself, not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand how such a statement is simply the mind speaking to itself within me and that the statement of “Man I have so much to do” actually implies a point of “back-history” already that I am not taking into consideration when I am speaking such a statement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to manipulate myself through the back-chat “Man I have so much to do” where this serve not actual purpose in terms of Self Direction but is existing as a point of excuse within me that come up within me throughout my day.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand how the statement “man I have so much to do” is coming from my mind/a personality/character that I have created within me/within my mind where this statement exist as a form of complaining which is also a point within and as self victimization where I’d use such a statement to victimize myself where the purpose of such a statement is to eventually have me placed into a position where I am escaping from the point of Directing myself within the responsibilities that I have because it is clear that the statement “Man I have so much to do” is not aligned with the point of simply directing myself here in and as breath within that which is required to do, but is in fact a point of complaining or victimizing myself.

I see/realize/understand that the back-chat statement of “Man I have so much to do” is not aligned to and as supporting me within directing and moving myself in and as breath but in fact exist as a kind of opinion about what I am doing, and what I have to do and that this statement of “man I have so much to do” is like a gateway into the mind where it is in fact feeding the point of “getting me to stop” where within such a statement the ultimate goal is for me to eventually get to that point where “I have done enough” and “can stop now” instead of assisting and supporting myself to live here as breath in and as self consistency throughout my day.

I commit myself to investigate WHY it is that “I want to stop” and what is it that I will do when I stop, as I see that the back-chat statement of “Man I have so much to do” is structured in such a way that I am “trying to get out of” that which I am doing. I am “trying to get out of” my responsibilities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize myself within the back-chat statement “Man I have so much to do” where within this I will build this perception of me of being “swamped with work” and essentially creating and constructing an idea within my mind about what I am doing where that IDEA will take precedent as the various dimensions of that IDEA instead of me Living HERE in and as the physical and moving myself in breath, instead of having to create an Idea all the time about what I am doing and then superimpose this idea onto myself which always “drag me down” due to getting caught up in the various dimensions of this “IDEA OF SELF” particularly within the point of where emotions and feelings start to influence me within that which I am doing, and thus that the very nature of such a statement as “Man I have So Much To Do” is to construct an IDEA / PERCEPTION within myself about what I am doing where eventually this IDEA becomes the directive principle of me instead of me Directing me and Aligning me within my application to what is best for all.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand how I have utilized this back-chat statement of “Man I have so much to do” as a building block of My Self Victimization Character/Experience, and that I have in a way become a pro at building constructing specific experiences that I build over and over and over and over and that ultimately become and are the directive principle of me, and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ever question the point of how I have limited myself to speaking the same back-chat statements within myself that will lead only to a limited number of constructions within me and that I just simply build the same experiences within me over and over again.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop utilizing/participating within the back-chat statement “Man I have so much to do” and to when and as I see such a statement coming up within me to look at/investigate why such a statement comes up and how exactly I am utilizing this statement as a point of self manipulation within specific moments.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to move and direct myself within breath as it will be obvious how much I have to do, and that I see/realize/understand that my Direction is to simply be here Living to My Utmost potential which from my perspective imply a consistent self movement of and as self within the context of what is best for all. Thus when and as I see such a statement coming up inside me of and as “Man I have so much to do” I stop and breath, I realize that it does not support me to “go into” such a statement and going into my mind and thinking about/bringing up “all the things I have to do” but rather I commit myself to assist and support myself in such moments to breathe and assist and support myself to remain here in and as the physical and in this assisting and supporting myself to develop my self discipline within my application of Aligning myself to and Directing myself within the context of what is best for all. To “think about and dwell about” what I have to do I see is my/the mind and so rather than do this I assist and support myself to KEEP IT PHYSICAL and finding ways to GROUND My Application HERE in the physical in and as self movement and stopping participating within the back-chat statement “Man I have so much to do” And so I assist and support me to assert myself to move from one task to another and skip the entire part of going on a little holiday in my mind thinking about “how I have so much to do” and so directing me to simply walk in breath from point to point as task to task during my day.

 

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See no Evil, Hear no Evil, Speak no evil – Life Review

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6 thoughts on “Manipulating Myself with The Voice in My Head – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 218

  1. Pingback: Inner Voice of Inequality – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 218 | An Artists Journey To Life

  2. Pingback: Inner Voice of Inequality – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 219 | An Artists Journey To Life

  3. Pingback: BackChat – I am Slave – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 220 | An Artists Journey To Life

  4. Pingback: Finding A Point of Stability within the Storm – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 221 | An Artists Journey To Life

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