In this blog I am starting now with the “Back-Chat” Dimension as the continuation of the previous blog posts where I am looking at/investigating the point of Self Victimization as my Victimization Character.
previous blog posts
Constructing My Dis-empowerment – Victimization Character – An Artists Journey to Life: Day 215
Making It Bigger in My Mind – Victimization Character – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 214
Victimization Character (Thought Dimension) – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 213
Victimization – Branding Fear as Real : An Artists Journey To Life – Day 212
Fear Dimension of Victimization Character – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 211
Self Victimization – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 210
Fuck why can’t I just do what I want
Man I have so much to do
I will never have any time for myself
I am a slave
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand how the back-chat statement of “Fuck why can’t I do what I want” is related to the point of self victimization of how I build up the point of essentially disempowering myself within my reality which is what occur when I accept and allow myself to participate within my victimization character.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to spend more time thinking “fuck why can’t I just do what I want” than it would actually take to direct the point I am facing where in essence I exert more time/effort/energy in the end in trying to avoid directing myself and taking responsibility for my world than if I were to actually just move myself practically straight away.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the back-chat statement “fuck why can’t I just do what I want” is indicating how I have still accepted and allowed my mind and the back-chat within my mind to direct me and “have a say” when clearly such a statement is not valid within the context of everything that is going on the world where my life is basically built on the abuse of others and that to speak such a statement of “fuck why can’t I just do what I want” is making the statement that I in fact am not interested those that are suffering under my foot, and so thus here I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust the automation of me as a mind where I allow the automation of such back-chat of and as “fuck why can’t I just do what I want” where eventually in allowing this statement within me build up a particular experience within myself.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to source the back-chat statement “fuck, why can’t I just do what I want” to see where such a statement originate and come form and within this seeing how I have just accepted and pre-programmed statement that is in no way an “original” self created statement but in a way a pre-packaged statement that I have accepted and integrated within and as me and now speak as if it is me without in fact being certain of the origin of such a statement and understanding exactly what each word imply and the structure of the words together and tonality and in essence really understanding what I am really speaking and activating and accepting and allowing within speaking such a statement within me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not have seen/realized/understood that “fuck, why can’t I just do what I want” comes from a “mentality” of self interest, where one is only “out for oneself” and not at all caring or considering other life equal to self, and within this I forgive myself for not realizing that I must in fact stop who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become which is the image and likeness of self interest and thus to Re-Create myself to exist equal and one with and as all life, and thus this will require an actual deliberate changing of self which imply that I can no longer simply accept and allow myself to keep running automatic programs of back-chat statements that only created and build and perpetuate self interest but that instead I must in fact deliberately STOP such statement and assist and support myself to in such moments Align myself to Equal and One Living where I consider everything within a point of equality and do unto another what I would want done unto me and so walking breath by breath and stopping my accepted and allowed existence/behaviours/mind participation that was indicative of my “self interested way’s”.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that the word “fuck” at the beginning of “fuck why can’t I just do what I want” implies that there has already been an inner battle and inner conversation within myself where I am in a way fighting with myself in relation to what I am doing or/and what I must do, where what I see coming through is a point of “obligation” which is in itself implying that I have “missed the point” as “LIFE” should not be an obligation, it should be an expression based on understanding where it is obvious how I direct myself in every breath, where this is always done in the interest of what is best for all, but that I see that I have never done that and so will require me to assist and support myself to stop accepting and allowing my back-chat to determine how I direct me and start Changing me in moments of back-chat where I instead of just accepting the automated back-chat to direct me, I look at the back-chat and check how and where a particular back-chat statement within me is existing in self interest and thus I rather in such a moment where I would previously normally allow my back-chat to direct me – I Direct ME as the point of changing me to align myself within and as equality and oneness with what is here within the principle of doing what is best for all.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that I have never existed within and as what is best for all, and also within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to in fact SEE me as the true nature and beingness of me and the extent that self interest has saturated me and become who I am.
In my next blog I will continue with the Self Corrective Statements
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