This is a continuation from my previous blog posts
I see/realize/understand that I have used fear as an excuse, where instead of stopping fears that come up within me within the process of facing myself and taking responsibility for myself in my world, I will allow the fear to influence me where in this there is a kind of incentive within accepting and allowing myself to brand my fears as REAL and allowing them to influence me and that is, that I do not have to give up the mind. But can continue “existing in fear” which is when I am doing, I am accepting and allowing myself to remain in my own pre-programmed design that I have created/constructed as the mind to facilitate the building up and experiencing of energy as my own personal energy experience that is a product of self interested living. This is the point of victimization, where when I am walking my day and faced with a moment of responsibility within directing myself within the context of what is best for all, which would imply that I would have to “step off track” The ‘track’ of self interest that I have created as that which I must walk, and am used to walking/living as my self interested living to give me ‘preferred’ experience of energy. That when I am faced with such a moment, I breathe and direct myself immediately within taking responsibility for that which is best for all, and thus I as I walk, live continue to assist and support myself to direct myself immediately within that which is best for all and that is a responsibility that is HERE in my world for me to direct. And thus I in such moments STOP “bringing-up” my “Victimization Character” as the Character that Validate my Fears. The Character that has Branded my Fears as REAL and so is thus subject to those fears and within this also has various levels of justifications which it has also Branded as REAL Limitations, and so I in such moments when standing at the “Action Point” to either Move myself within and as What is Best for ALL, or to move myself based on my own self interest which is to then “step into character” and in this case the “Victimization Character” I breathe and I move myself within that which is best for all and within this assist and support myself to ALIGN my Expression to that which is best for all, where this becomes who I am, where this becomes the Starting Point of ME so that eventually I stand One and Equal to what is best for all as in doing so I will Always do what is best for all, and thus am HERE exploring/investigating my “Victimization Character” so as one of the ways in which I have ‘prevented’ myself from actually standing/walking/Living what is best for all, where one of the key attributes of my Victimization Character is the accepting myself as Limited in the face of walking/standing/living what is best for all, that instead of assisting and supporting myself to walk/live/be what is best for all in each breath, I will justify not doing what is best for all. Which I here in commit myself to assist and support myself to explore the various ways in which I “justify my self interest” in where I am in essence “victimizing” myself when facing points of self responsibility and self movement. I point of victimization that I have accepted and allowed myself to live because no one has really ever said anything about. No one has really ever pointed out that “hey my action or more pointedly, non-action, is in fact abusing life, is in fact not based on equality and oneness, is not based on the actual interconnectedness of life and that my actions have a direct relationships with life around me, where during my life I particularly within my family, I was able to “get away with” not taking responsibility for certain aspects of my life because “hey that’s my parents job” and so here within this point of exploring/opening up/ and working with my “victimization character” within my writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application I commit myself to looking at how my upbringing and family life and environment played a role in how I conditioned myself to act/live/be a certain way and that this was in fact based on ME looking out for ME and secretly actually just trying to get my experience the way I wanted it , but this required others to act certain ways and do certain things for me and sacrifice certain aspects of their lives for my benefit, just as this is happening on a global scale where for instance factory workers in china are creating all the products I use in my day to day life and that support me to have “a good life” where they must suffer in terrible work conditions, meanwhile I simply “continue as is” and not saying anything because “hey no one else is saying anything” and no one else is standing up and taking responsibility for themselves within the context of what is best for all, because obviously it is not best for ALL that some human beings must provide the labour for the good life of those that live in “fortunate positions” in this world, and thus I commit myself to within seeing how this is working to assist and support myself to Align my Daily Life to what is best for all, so that I am taking responsibility for what is best for all, which also imply supporting the emergence of a New Economic System as this is a practical solution as it stand now to assist and support each being on earth to “get on equal ground”
And so here I commit myself to assist and support myself to walk through this “Victimization Character” and put a stop to this accepted and allowed behaviour as I see that it has played quite a role in my life and the decisions I make from moment to moment.
I see here a fear of “not having my life the way I want it / not having the perfect life – essentially a fear of not getting to fulfil my inner wants and desires or a fear of not being fulfilled” coming up here. I am basically looking at “where I will go into the point of self victimization and not direct/move me” and a point I see here is the point of when I am directing myself from the starting point of self responsibility, there is no “reward” per se – yet there is because I find often I am much more relaxed and stable as I am trusting myself more within my reality and not constantly existing in “I should be doing this/ I should be doing that” there is much more “completion” I find within my life/days. So in a way that is actually a point of Self Fulfilment, though not from the perspective of “manifesting my inner desires/wants” Its like I have made Instant Gratification my God. The Rule by which I live, The point by which I base my decisions where I simply follow the path of Instant Gratification, instead of Applying myself practically within the context of what is best for all to in fact build a world that is best for all and supportive for all.
Ok I am going to stop here for tonight.
So seeing some interesting points.
So I went I bit off point here but am going to next day continue with looking at my “Victimization Character and using this as the base point which I will walk through the various dimensions of this point to explore how the living out of victimization in my life has shaped me and is still influencing me and thus my life currently so assist and support myself to STOP accepting and allowing myself to live/act out the point of self victimization in my world and thus rather align myself to directing myself within Self Responsibility within the context of what is best for all.
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