This is a continuation of the following blog posts
Stepping Out of Track – An Artists Journey To Life Day 190
Sorting out my Past Perceptions about Myself – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 189
Finding Excuses to Hold Back – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 188
Disrupting My Attention – Self Corrections – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 187
Subtly Blaming My Genetics – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 186
It Seems So Easy in my Mind. – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 185
Paralysed by My Fear of People Seeing Me Fail – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 184
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that when I am participating in emotional/feeling reactions with regards to the success or failure of myself within the point of Art that I am not HERE but in my mind existing within a Mind Character instead of assisting and supporting myself to establish myself effectively HERE in and as the physical in and as breath where I am able to apply and move myself in a physically practical way based on common sense and that within doing this can assist and support myself to become Effective at that which I am doing, due to me having supported me to learn to LIVE HERE applying myself Consistency in a way that is essential in becoming effective in ones physical reality, and but to accept and allow myself to sink into/participate with emotional feeling reactions in relation to this ART point that, I am diminishing my effectiveness within the point due to now just existing within and being influenced by the mind, and thus my practical physical application applied HERE in and as Self Attention and Directiveness greatly diminish and so within accepting and allowing myself to participate /engage with emotional feeling reactions I dis-empower myself.
I commit myself to when and as I see myself starting to go into emotional/feeling reactions in relation to the point I am now walking with my ART, either positive or negative, to stop and breathe and remain here in breath, here assist and support myself to REMAIN IN PHYSICAL APPLICATION and practice existing HERE in and as the physical in self consistency and physical expression as I see/realize/understand that this will assist and support me most effectively where within this I assist and support myself to walk out of the my mind, disengaging the relationship that I have set-up and established with my mind dimensions as how I lived/existed/interacted within my life and stepping out of this and step into The Physical Practical Reality assisting and supporting me establish myself HERE in Equal and One Alignment with and as the Physical.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become overwhelmed with the experience of disappointment at times when / as I am walking this point with Art, where sometimes “things don’t seem to be going my way” and here I forgive myself for not realizing that when I become overwhelmed with Disappointment, I am indicating/showing to myself that I am still Aligned in my living to my mind where the dimensions of my mind are still determining and influencing me within my life, which can be seen within and as the experience of becoming overwhelmed with disappointment.
Here I commit myself to assist and support myself to not accept and allow myself to go into the experience of disappointment, especially particularly to the degree where it becomes overwhelming and filling the entirety of myself up as this total experience of disappointment in relation to my Art, particularly when I start thinking/believing that I will fail or its not going to work out, and so I commit myself to Re-Establish My Expression within Art so that it is Oriented to a Physical Expression and Application instead of always projecting myself into the future and in this going into my mind and thinking about all the things that could or could not happen and often building up/activating experiences/reactions of disappointment as well as other experiences/reactions that are either positive or negative, and so to as I Correct my Approach and Application of myself in Art to assist and support myself to Align this to a Practical Physical Application where I stop “jumping ahead” so to speak and then coming up with various interpretations of how things may or may not go, where when I do this I “enter the realm of the mind” that contains all my past memories, beliefs, patterns, programming etc, where then my reactions become “distorted” from the perspective where I start judging what I am doing based on experiences / points coming up in my mind which I am not in fact seeing in their entirty where they are coming from and so end up attaching various experiences and reactions to what I am doing HERE that has NOTHING to do with what I am doing HERE in a Practical Common Sense way, and so I Direct myself to Keep this Practical Application with Art as Simplistic as possible working with what is physically HERE in a common sensical way, and within this also developing the ability to work within the physical in and as Self Stability without “jumping ahead/into my mind” but developing my ability to Move WITH AND AS The Physical which move veeeerrrryyyy sllllloooooooowwwwllllllllyyyyyyyy and grounding me in the physical which I have not done previously but accepted and allowed myself to want things to move quicker and thus went into the mind, and so I see, practically speaking that part of this process of correcting my application within art is to Orient my expression of this too be aligned one and equal with the physical and thus being patient within myself as I get me oriented to living Here in and as the physical applying myself step by step by step in a physical way, where doing this will inevitably and is ultimately the only way to get things done as thinking and imagining about something has nothing to do with actually moving/creating/developing/manifesting that point physically here in an effective practical way.
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