This is a continuation of the following blog posts
Sorting out my Past Perceptions about Myself – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 189
Finding Excuses to Hold Back – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 188
Disrupting My Attention – Self Corrections – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 187
Subtly Blaming My Genetics – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 186
It Seems So Easy in my Mind. – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 185
Paralysed by My Fear of People Seeing Me Fail – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 184
When and as I see myself starting to get on my case with insisting over and over again that this point will not work, I stop and I take a breath and I bring myself here. I realize that the constant hounding within me around this point where it is related to why it will not work, and why I should give up and why its going to fail, is my back-chat /mind and so I do NOT participate within and as It. I Commit myself to keep this point related to art as Practical as Possible and focusing on simply moving the point physically and practically. Within this here also I am “Flagpointing” this point/experience within me where my mind just run on and on and one about this point about how I am going to fail and why its not going to work etc, where the basic message being presented in through various back-chat angles is that “I WILL FAIL” and so when and as I see/notice anything within myself coming up within the context of this Art point that has a “negative” or “Positive” energetic Charge, I simply Breath and NOT go into the point, but assist and support myself to remain in and as breath and sticking to the practical physical reality.
When and as I see myself participating within myself within the point that “Art is innately Flawed” I stop myself in such a moment, and focus on my breath and assist and support myself to remain here in and as the physical and not go into this “idea” that art is inherently flawed and for that reason will not work. I commit myself to breath and focus on Physical Application and pushing through the resistance and doubt within myself that comes up when I am not moving myself but instead going into my head about it.
I see/realize/understand that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself and limit the point of Art through by accepting and allowing myself to become bogged down by my back-chat and emotional experiences connected to such back-chat. I see that I have not in fact yet given myself the opportunity to test this point physically in a way where I can then get some feedback and from this feedback assess accordingly, but have “jumped the gun” already, already judging what I am doing and accepting and allowing doubt and uncertainty as an emotional reaction experience to influence me/direct me to stop practically applying myself.
When and as I see myself starting to Judge my Art work as being “not good enough” and that “It won’t sell” because it is not good enough. I stop and I breathe. I realize that I will require some time to get back into things and that I can only move as fast as I can physically move and I cannot move faster, and so thus there is no point to go into doubt before I have effectively and thoroughly tested the point practically/physically.
The same works for “Selling”. I am still here in the beginning stages of this point and it could take many months before I start getting the thing moving and flowing effectively within the context of having the necessary points in place to be able to make a determination of if “my plan was effective” because at this stage I have nothing to base my plan on due to having to actually physically test the point which I am busy doing. Thus I commit myself to stop going into my mind to attempt to come to a conclusion of “what will happen” I understand that in the past I never at all considered Money within the equation of making art and so naturally it made sense that money did not flow from this as it was not part of the equation. That is not the case this time around, though I must be patient with myself in allowing myself the grace to implement my plan before I judge it and judge myself as a failure, which is jumping to conclusions.
I commit myself to realize that who I was in the past is not who I must live as today. But that to change myself effectively I will have to give up “my old life” which requires diligence and discipline. Thus I stop holding onto and re-affirming in my back-chat that “i am bad at sales” because of who I see myself as within looking at me within my own mind within past memories and behaviours and ways of being which exist in the past now and cannot be changed, and so thus Its best to Stop participating within such pre-programming and rather assist and support myself to work with myself in a practical way where obviously to make conclusions of what I am capable of now based on my back-chat is not practical.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to instead of Aligning my attention to being within my mind, thinking and worrying about this point, to Align my attention to HERE in and as the physical in and as Physical expression and application so that I give myself the best opportunity become effective within this reality, which I see/realize/understand is NOT just existing in my head about stuff, but rather actually Moving myself in and as the Physical and actually PARTICIPATING.
I commit myself to put the point to the test – instead of worrying and judging before I do this. This is a practical solution for the doubt and uncertainty related to both “is my art good enough” and also “am I good enough at selling it” I will find out. And so thus I commit myself to assist and support myself to “Find Out” through focusing myself on simply physically moving the point, and doing this consistently and leave the “maybe this maybe that what if this what if that” out if it.
I see/realize/understand that I have had effective training in Art and that my training in Sales and Marketing is effective enough to take on this point and learn as I go. The point now is stick to the physical Implementation of the point and leave the drama out of it.
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