This Blog is a continuation of the following blog posts
Also for Further perspective and context on understanding the “Imagination Dimension” of Self Please Read
Tonight I am continuing with investigating my Postponement Character where I will be looking further into the Imagination Dimension.
Within the “Imagination Dimension” of My Postponement Character I in essence end up “Imagining” that which I am actually preventing myself from doing through by existing as my Postponement Character, and that is, Me actually Changing Me. And so thus instead of practically doing this, practically physically changing myself within my daily living application I end up participating within my postponement character and specifically here I am looking at the “Imagination Dimension” of this character where instead of actually changing, I will Imagine myself changing, and I will imagine myself changed. Often I have this imagining of where I like confront a crowd of people as being like this glorious changed being that is “Living Self Responsibility” where I will imagine myself standing in front of crowd and experiencing myself as really proud of myself and happy because I have in fact changed. I also have this one particular imagining of where I would post my writings on the forums or simply publish my pages and pages and pages of dedicated writing that I have been doing “in private” for the length of time (normally a long time) as I was “effectively applying myself” where in this imagining I see myself publishing my writing and then everyone seeing the writing and this writing actually having some value as it would be the actual MAP I walked within my process of self change. And again here in this imagining I am feeling so proud of me and happy. These types of Imagining this stuff comes up when I “start off” and I write for a bit or for the first day or 2 and I am really devoted and committed and thus this “Imagination dimension” kicks in where I see myself in these different scenarios where in such scenarios is more the “end result” of the application of what I am only starting. I see actually that this “Imagination Dimension is quite extensive within me in terms of how much I spend time imagining about the “Future Version” of myself that is changed. I am wanting to change and egar to change and so imagine myself as this super being with magical powers being able to help people because I am so stable and calm and all the things that want to be but Have not yet actually PRACTICALLY PHYSICALLY APPLIED MYSELF FOR REAL in a way that will actually manifest this Me, and so I just “make the leap” there in my imagination, literally imagining myself as this changed being on literally the first day of my commitments I make to myself to change that I always end up giving in and not able to stick with the commitment, and thus giving into postponement.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the imagination dimension of my postponement character through by imagining myself as a “changed being” that would occur through the process that I actually in fact postpone as the process of consistent self support within my application of writing as the process of me developing an effective foundation for myself within and as my process of self change simply by starting off with ensuring that my base point of writing is in place as that Action I Do Daily within all the necessary writing points such as my Daily Blog, My DIP lessons, and other Supplemental writing that is necessary for me to in fact effectively support myself to change me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself stepping out in front of a crowd as a self changed being, where I will imagine this in my mind and imagine how good it will feel to be this being, but when it comes to the moment of change where I must in fact Physically Change me I will give up and give in and not Direct me within the necessary Self Disciplined Application of myself needed to in fact Support me in Real Self Change.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself posting my writings on the forum that I have “saved up” that I then would post “once I am changed” and that I would be/am so proud of myself and feeling so relieved that I have finally changed, but that when it comes down to the actual moment of Applying myself Daily and Consistently within the ACTUAL necessary writing application to facilitate self change I will not push through my resistance and give up, meanwhile accepting and allowing myself to instead imagine myself as a self changed being, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my attention to my Imagination Dimension of my postponement Character instead of Sticking to whats Real and walking HERE with and as myself in my process so as to not get ahead of myself but to Remain HERE with me step by step, realizing that I to in fact Reach the point that I imagine in my mind will take Discipline and absolute consistency in my application of Self Writing, and that that which I imagine and that which I am is 2 entirely different things, and so thus Stick to Who I actually am to support me to Remain Grounded and Humbled so as to always be able to understand the IN FACT ACTUAL TASK before me as the process/application I must actually Walk/Direct myself in Daily to bring forth Self Change.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand how during my day I participate with my postponement character where in for instance I will go into imagining myself as a self changed being, when I am for example driving in my car or at work or doing something else, and thus be actually participating with my postponement character throughout the entirety of my day, not just that moment when I sit down to write at the end of the day.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to understand the link between “imagining myself as a self changed being” and my postponement character.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not bother with actually changing me because I have become so accustomed to separating myself from myself where I just don’t really have to live with myself anyways because of how I have accepted and allowed myself to separate me from me by existing within my Imagination Dimension of in this case my Postponement Character where in I will accept and allow myself to postpone self change and then be able to mange and live with myself through by going into my imagination and imagining me as a self changed beign where in doing this I can feel better about myself again and get some relief, not realizing that if I did not have the ability to imagine anything, I may likely get my ass in gear because then I would have to LIVE with the REAL ME, as the Me that hasn’t actually changed, but has continued to accept and allow myself to postpone self change but then am able to avoid my actual experience and state of me within this through by just utilizing my imagination dimension and just existing in there so as to not have to be here with me and face the fact that I have not changed me at all.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to assist and support myself walk through the actual process of effective self change daily where in I in fact have to walk with and as myself in each breath in applying myself within self supportive writing and in this Directing my to push through my resistances and “wantings to stop” and that I have never supported myself within walking this process but have given in to postponement which I could do due to me being a master of suppression and distracting myself from the fact that I have not effectively supported me to walk breath by breath by breath the the Actual Space and TIME required for effective self support within my application of writing.
DAILY EQAFE SUPPORT INTERVIEW