Postponement Character – Fear Dimension – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 159

 

This particular Character that I am writing about here is the Character I live that believes that its better in the future and in this ends up neglecting, ignoring, taking for granted, missing what is here and thus channelling all of my attention into future projections. Within this I see/perceive my Here to be limited and unenjoyable and so am thus always pre-occupied with “something in the future” as the apparent solution to my Here, and the experience of myself Here. And so thus the actuality of this Character is acceptance that “Here is Never Enough.” Ultimately though I see that this is related to me not wanting to face myself in every moment and so what ends up happening is I then go into “future projections” to try and escape taking responsibility for myself in the environment I am in where in taking responsibility for myself I am in fact directing myself effectively and utilizing my resources/environment to its utmost potential. What I find myself doing is NOT this and then so go into the excuses and justifications that “Here is Not Good Enough” when in fact I see that in my current environment, I have not yet even established myself in an effective consistent routine of Daily Self Support as an Effective Living Example of Self Change, as the Necessary Change  to bring forth and Equal Money System/A world that is best for all.  So what I am in fact seeing Here is My “POSTPONEMENT CHARACTER”

 

Fear Dimension

 

A fear I see here as a reason why I accept and allow myself to go into postponement is related to “boredom” though essentially I see that what I fear, is giving up my self interest and giving up my “Living For Positive Energy/Experience Life” that I normally live. I fear letting go of positive experience/energy.

In essence I fear giving up that which give me a positive experience to do that which I am responsible for to bring about effective self change, and so then go into postponement of my practical responsibilities. I fear not getting that “Positive Charge” I fear having no fun. I fear the boredom of the task, I fear not enjoying myself. I fear that experience of not enjoying myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing/doing my Practical Responsibilities that if I do, would actually be effective self support because I fear being miserable which I perceive and believe will happen to me if I in fact stop postponing my Practical Daily Self Responsibilities.

 

I commit myself to assist and support myself to walk my practical daily responsibilities in a way where I am living to my utmost potential, and so within this push through the Fear of “what that experience might be life”

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my perception that doing all of my practical daily responsibilities would be not fun and actually be hard and difficult which I fear.

 

I commit myself walk through my “fear of things being difficult and hard” and actually walking through that ‘wall’ that I have accepted and allowed myself to till now often stop at and instead of facing and walking through it, postponing the task/responsibility at hand which lead to more and more postponing of my practical daily responsibilities.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear giving up my life of self interest and actually living a life in the interest of all where I am Supporting myself daily within my process of self change, and not just “living for energy” which I have done within and as my existence of the mind and so thus “fearing giving up my life of self interest or how I am living now” to actually support myself in a way that is best for all.

 

I see/realize/understand that to live a life of self interest is in fact not the life I want to live. I see/realize/understand that living a life based on self interest is showing me that I am still controlled by energy and have thus abdicated my power as my Directive Principle to Energy where by I am doing this and that based on my experience of energy where in essence Energy Dicates what I do and how I live my life and what I give my attention to. I see/realize/understand that I have become addicted to Energy and thus to Actually walk in Practical Self Responsibility Requires one to in fact walk based in principle and give up “my life of energy” I fear doing this, and I fear my experience within this, I fear what this would be like and thus in essence I am fearing something that I have never done. I am fearing an unknown experience. I see that I am projecting my idea of what it would be like to live in and as Self Responsibility onto this Unknown experience and thus fearing that idea or projection I have placed on what is in fact actually Unknown to me because I have not yet ever lived that.

 

I forgive myself for not realizing that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own self created idea onto something that is actually unknown to me, where in I then believe that my own idea/projection is actually what this unknown experience will be like, and then FEAR that experience which I see/realize/understand is NOT the actual in fact living of that point but only a projection I have created within myself and so thus.

 

When and as I see myself going into resistance towards facing the point of Standing and taking responsibility for myself in facing myself daily in completing my practical daily responsibilities I in that moment, stop myself and breath. I see/realize/understand that I have in fact created an idea/belief and projected that idea/belief onto the point of what I believe it will be like to actually walk my practical daily responsibilities daily which I then go into fear about and thus end up postponing walking/facing such a point. I also see/realize/understand that I have not yet effectively walked facing my daily responsibilities in a consistent way and so thus it is in essence an unknown point to me until I walk it in the flesh and it is known. Thus I commit myself to Stop believing in and being influenced by the “Idea” I created about what it will be like to walk my daily responsibilities and thus instead when I faced with going into the fear of “what it will be like” to simply breath, and remain here and not go into that fear experience as I see/realize/understand that it is not in fact “what it will be like” but rather just a projection that I have superimposed as “what I think” it will be like. And so when and as I identify and see this fear coming up within me, breath and remain here and not participate with the fear, and thus continue to assist and support myself to give Practical Physical Direction to my Daily Responsibilities that are required to get done.

DAILY EQAFE SUPPORT INTERVIEW

Life Review – How I Justified My Anxiety

 Other Desteni Links

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

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11 thoughts on “Postponement Character – Fear Dimension – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 159

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