Addicted to My Snooze Button – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 151

 

So I have finding it difficult to get up in the mornings. This is not a new point, I have really fought with this point for the last 2 years since coming back from the farm. And I see that there has been a pattern that has “set-in” now that particularly came up during my last job.

The pattern was that I would set my alarm to 5am and then wake up at 6am to get up and go to work. And often I would get out of bed at the very last minute and leave directly to work.

During the weekends or days off, I would not set my alarm and there would be this relief within myself that I did not have to set my alarm.

I see this relief point is related to work/job and the point of getting up in the mornings to go to work.

I would set my alarm for 5am and then when I woke up at 5am I would be so grateful that I did not have to get out of bed. I loved that feeling of knowing I can sleep longer. It is similar to that “experience of relief” within myself when realizing that I do not have to set my alarm and get up to it. Its like a point of being free.

I do not enjoy the experience of having to get up directly to my alarm because every morning when I wake up I do not want to leave the warmth of the covers and continually hit the snooze button until I finally ‘have’ to get up and go to work so as not to be late.

Days when I do not work, the experience is similar in terms of when I do wake up, I don’t get out of bed but I like pull the covers over my head and relish in the heat and warmth and the not having to ‘force’ myself out of bed, because that is how I feel/experience this point of getting up to my alarm or just getting up normally. I Experience myself having to force myself out of bed. It’s like I just want to lay and bed and not get up, and the entire time I am knowing/telling myself that “I should just get up”

What I would like to do is get up immediately in the first breath, but when it comes down to it, I allow that “first-thought” to come up. And instead of getting up immediate in the first breath, go into for instance a question instead – “Should I Get Up?” which is already the point of me accepting the resistance to getting up.

The point of setting the alarm for 1 hour before I have to get up is like creating 1 hour of heaven for myself in my life that I experience as a form of pleasure and enjoyment where I can have that experience of hitting the snooze button and have that experience of making the statement “I will Sleep a bit longer” and that “I don’t have to get up”.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to sleeping and not want to give up that experience that I have in the mornings where I can lay in bed half asleep in the warmth of my covers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop the pattern of hitting the snooze button on my alarm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when my alarm goes off experience resistance and immediately think about not getting up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with the thought of “not getting up” when I open my eyes where this thought of “not getting up” is one, if not the first thought that comes up within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought “I don’t want to get up” to come up within me immediately when I open my eyes in the morning.

I forgive myself for not realizing that in by accepting the thought “I don’t want to get up” as well as the thought/thinking as the question “should I stay in bed” to come up within me that I am already accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as the mind in the morning and thus have already opened the door for me to just stay in bed, instead of simply eliminating the question altogether as I see that The question of “should I stay in bed” is based in self interest and is not actually best for me in any way or best for all in any way, but only best for my self interested experience, and so thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize how I was entertaining self interest within this pattern of sleeping in the mornings and thus allowing that self interest to come through which means that I have already accepted this self interest as who I am, within the question “should I stay in bed”

I commit myself to assist and support myself to simply eliminate the question “should I stay in bed” where the Solution here is to no more accept and allow myself to allow such a question within my self in the morning but simply Get Up immediately.

I see, realize, and understand that the question of “should I stay in bed” within the context that I ask myself this question is always self interest based.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the question “should I stay in bed” instead of “what does the day have in store for me” where within what I have accepted and allowed I am making the statement that “I do not want to get up in face my day” but am in fact resisting extensively facing my world/reality, which is why I would rather stay in bed and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist facing my world/reality extensively, which shows every morning by my position of just wanting to sleep and sleep and not wanting to pry myself out of bed.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to support myself to get up in the mornings immediately in the first breath, because if I do, then I would no more have the experience of myself within that blissful sleep state which I do not want to give up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to give up my blissful peace state because if I give this up than all that will be there is coldness and deadness that is the world waiting for me outside my nice warm cozy soft fluffy comfortable covers.

 

Tbc….

 

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4 thoughts on “Addicted to My Snooze Button – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 151

  1. Lol! Thanks for sharing – I have alarm set on 5 and 6 and 7 am which is more like a point of continually realizing I have to get up and this snooze function is so tricky – What I noticed is that at the farm we had horses and in or respective places we have our everyday so te point is to set ourselves as the starting point for waking up. I found how procrastination Allso factored into not waking up, however it’s been cool lately since I simply decided that no matter what 7 is the time I get up although, sometimes the phone ends up beneath my pillow as well so, thanks for sharing because its rather eerie to realize that when I finally wake up, there are times I can’t recall having hot the snooze anymore so, relying on the alarm is also not the point. More like deciding not to ‘give myself more time’ as a decision taken from the moment I programmed the alarm.

    Thanks for sharing
    M

  2. Pingback: Addicted To My Snooze Button – Self Corrections – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 152 | An Artists Journey To Life

  3. Pingback: Getting Out of Bed. – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 153 | An Artists Journey To Life

  4. Pingback: Investigating My Apparent “NEED” to Sleep-In. – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 155 | An Artists Journey To Life

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