I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘react’ within myself about living at home, not considering that part of my reaction is based on the ‘western’ idea of how one is supposed to live an ideal life from the perspective of that “one is supposed to move out when they come of age” and go out into the world and find a job and live their own life. Though in some cultures many generations live under the same roof and it is not uncommon for families to live together and so within this I see that part of my reaction was/is in relation to the acceptance of the ‘western’ idea of what a supposed “ideal” life is, and thus have proved to myself that I am in fact brainwashed by culture/my environment to tell me what to think and how I have formed my values where in I was reacting within myself to the idea of living at home as I had within the formation of myself formed me and my value and opinion of self worth around this cultural idea that “I must move out when I come of age” because that is what I am supposed to do because that is what people do in the west, and that I not based this assessment on my own practical considerations and observations of what life is really about but just accepted the idea that was given to me by my culture where I never in fact had to “look for myself”
I forgive myself for not realizing that the only reason I was able to move out when I was a young adult was because I had money and the resources to do so that is part of the location that I was born into here in the west where there is enough money for young adults to be able to have their own place, where everyone must “have their own place” as prescribed by consumerism and our culturally accepted and allowed notion of “Successful” which I blindly took on as “my own idea” which was shown in how I had an emotional reaction to “living at home” that happened so automatically which indicates to me that I had been forming and creating and building this idea into me over years and years, and thus was in fact Living this idea without even knowing it, thus – Brainwashed.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust this feeling within me that I was having in relation to moving back home and living at home, where I accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a failure and unworthy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I do not live on my own and have a place of my own and a successful job and a nice vehicle and that I do this all on my own, that I am a failure.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the experiences I have within myself and hold so dear, and trust to be real, was formed in relation to money/the money system and that if there was an equal money system and all was provided equally what I believe to be tried tested and true may change and something like living with family would become something unlike the expectation that I formulated based on my cultural values which in large part where spoon fed to me through Media, Hollywood and PopMusic which is more interested in Fantasy and Imagination than how things actually work and the flow of life actually function in a way where ALL life is supported equally and effectively to grow and express and explore.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to assume that ‘something will go wrong” in living with my parents, and closer to family, instead of simply living, and taking it day by day and trusting what is actually practically physically here as the effectiveness of the living environment in Living Proof, not holding onto ideas of how I think things will be.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see for myself how much in fact I was/am a product of my environment and society, yet I seem to think I created myself, but that I must question this completely if I did not even see that my experience of myself that I was living/had accepted was based on an “idea” of “how families are supposed to interact” where the young adults are “supposed” to move out eventually and find their own way in the system, yet, there are millions who in fact live in closer social groupings of generations of families, due to their circumstances and that there is nothing “abnormal” or “strange” and so this showing that these ideas I had accepted about family were simply definitions I had adapted from my culture, proving that I am not an original unique being and am really thinking for myself but shows that I just accepted the closest idea that was presented to me in my environment and the culture that was at my door step which I then went ahead and formed my morality of what is right and what is wrong and what is bad and what is good where this morality is in fact different on the other side of the world where in this also proving how humanity as a whole is completely lost as a Species that is able to understand itself as life, because if it did, Morality would be the same across the board, based on the same fundamental principles of Actual Life which we all are equally.
I commit myself to no more accepting and allowing myself to continue participating with/existing within my pre-programmed thoughts, feelings, and emotions, thus definition towards ‘Family’ And so when and as I see a reaction coming up within me in relation to my family I stop myself and do not go into the reaction or participate in the reaction by delving into it, but rather breathe and remain here in the moment not accepting and allowing myself to go into the “energetic reactions” I have pre-programmed into me around and in relation to the point of family. I commit myself to Re-Align myself to Equality and Oneness as the Principle of My Expression and Participation and no more accept the accepted and allowed pre-programmed definition of “Family” that I had established within and as myself throughout my life.
I commit myself to assist and support myself within writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application investigate the reoccurring reactions that I have in relation to living at home from the perspective of the reactions that I am not able to just simply stop, but that continue to come up each day, and to within exploring these points, remind myself that the emotional reactions that I am experiencing was in fact pre-programmed into me as the ideas I have accepted about who I am and how I am supposed to live and to also within this utilize focusing on THE ACTUAL PRACTICAL EFFECTIVENESS of my situation, and thus not accepting and allowing my IDEAS as the emotional reactions as feelings and emotions get in the way, influence and direct me in the assessment and decisions I make on how to apply and direct myself in relation to my current environment, and to thus base my Direction on the practical effectiveness and physical feedback that come from my daily living
I realize that there are various different ways one is able to Live in an effective way and assist and support the brining forth of a world that is best for all, from the perspective of where one must assess their “In fact” practical environment and the resources they have available to them and thus to move/direct self according to such resources .
I also realize that I had ‘Ideas’ about myself in relation to how I thought my life would go, and that in moving back home, I did not plan for this and that this did not match the preconceived ideas I had constructed within my mind of what my life would be like. I also see that these Ideas where not real, and that in by holding on to such ideas I am limiting myself by not accepting and allowing myself to “see what is really here” and “to see what is right in front of me” and to within letting go of such ideas, Live HERE effectively embracing the points that is HERE, instead of running from them because they do not match the ideas that I had created within myself as the picture in my mind of how I THOUGHT my life would be like and unfold.
I commit myself to embrace the life that is HERE as my Physical Environment instead of averting myself from what is really here due to still holding onto and participating with thoughts in my mind about what I believed /constructed my life to be like.
I commit myself to allowing myself to Re-Live my Life from the perspective of realizing that I must do this from the starting point of equality and oneness and in this nothing will be the same and so I must allow myself to learn how to do this and at the same time, letting go of all the ideas, expectations, memories, that I created while living from the starting point of “Me First” which was the directive impulsed into me before birth through a society that had already formed around this credo and thus everything I was and lived was based on this “Me First” and so therefore I am not able to trust any of my ideas and expectations of “how things will go” this time around, as I have not reference point because the the reference that was my life was completely a result of self interest and so thus must allow myself to walk here in breath allowing me to re-live and re-form My Life over again, this time from the starting point of Equality and Oneness.
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