Living At Home – Self Corrections – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 131

I commit myself assist and support myself through writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application to stop my accepted and allowed mind definition/belief/judgement I have created within and as myself throughout my life until now in relation to “what it means to move back home” and to assist and support myself to Align myself instead to being/living here in and as the physical and breath in equality and oneness focusing on supporting myself to stand one and equal to myself as the mind, my physical body, my physical environment, other beings and all that is here as Life.

I see, realize, and understand that the idea of myself as being “less than” for moving back home and living with my parents is an idea that I have created within my mind where in this idea I am giving/maintaining importance and value on such attributes as competition, and being the best and superiority and inferiority and ultimately my fight for survival, and so thus I commit myself to within writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application assist and support step out of Competing and Comparing myself to other in Ego as comparing my superiorities and inferiorities to others superiorities, and inferiorities and in this trying to valid myself as Ego, and Step into Living in and as Breath in the Moment where my focus become on Effective Self Direction in my environment where I assist and support myself to develop my self awareness of myself and effective self direction within a practical consideration of what is best for all, and thus shift my attention and focus from EGO, and competition and winning and self definition as what is best for me, into Physically Living and applying myself in a Practical Common Sense Way that support all in my environment in a Equal Way, mutually beneficial way, where I stop only thinking about and applying myself for me only but to consider and apply myself in a way so that ALL in the group are supported in their expression and development so that all grow and expand together where all do an equal share and always consider what is best the for the group.

I see, realize, and understand that my being home at the moment is a practical consideration. And I commit myself to explore this point unconditionally from the perspective of Asserting myself to apply myself diligently, consistently and in self discipline in Self Direction and Movement to practically and physically  explore and investigate the potentials and possibilities of being within the environment where I am now where in I simply Direct myself to explore points that come up/open up and do this unconditionally without already making a judgement about “what is possible” within this environment due to having already created ideas and judgements about “living at home” which I see, realize, understand is not in any way related to the actual practical physical environment where I am now in but is related to definitions and ideas that I have created within my mind.

 

 

I commit myself to remind myself that the relationship I have with myself is the most important from the perspective of if I do not have an effective relationship with myself, no external relationship is going to “make things better” and thus to when and as I see myself wandering off into thinking about a relationship to bring myself back here to where I am in the moment in my physical reality, because I realize that it is HERE where I stand in and as the physical that I am able to work with myself and thus assist and support me in fact to Establish effective living patterns based on equality and oneness.

“finding a relationship before “I sink into depression as unworthiness” for living at home with my parents for an extended period of time, which I have thus also in such a statement of thinking about “finding a relationship fast” have also thus encoded into it the implication that I will become depressed and live out the pattern of accumulating myself into a depression within staying at home for an extended period of time.

I commit myself to stop thinking/worrying about “what other people will/are thinking about me in their minds” about me living/’being at home. I see, realize, understand that my process is not to perse try and change other people or stop other people from forming ideas about me within their mind, but to Take Responsibility For Myself, which means to simply Focus on assisting and supporting myself to within writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application change myself and take responsibility for what is going within me within my own mind. And so when and as I see myself participating with thinking about “what others think about me for living at home” I stop and I breath. I realize that I am “reacting” to what I believe/perceive others are thinking about me and I see that I am in fact still holding onto judgments that I have created within myself towards other people in my environment. And so thus I direct myself to assist and support myself within writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application stop all reactions I have towards others and work towards Self Silence as the point to Stand within and as while interacting/communicating with beings within my world, no matter where I am and what environment I am in.

I commit myself to Align myself with Silence as Stability within/in relation to “Living At Home” as I see that Self Silence/Stability is “how I should be” from the perspective of Standing Equal to my environment no matter where it is/where I am where no movement as judgment or reaction should exist at all within me, as this would still indicate that I am judging my environment and thus still existing in separation from my environment/myself

I commit myself to within writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application support myself to walk from reaction, judgment and opinion towards my environment / “living at home” to Silence, Stability, acceptance, embracing, my environment as me, as how I would want to be embraced.

I commit myself to living in and as Breath where in when I see that I am judging my situation and going into pre-conceived ideas and judgments about my situation, I immediately stop participating in such judgements/reactions and bring myself back here to breath/the physical/my physical body and stand/direct me within my understanding/realization that I have/am in fact imposing/bringing with me to my current environment, pre-conceived/pre-programmed opionions/judgements about my environment, and so thus I commit myself to assist and support myself to remain in breath ,and in and as the physical so to be able to effectively explore and assess how to practically move/direct myself in my environment using common sense in now to practically support myself and all equally within the environment where I am currently, something that is not able to be done if I am “carrying over” pre-programmed ideas of “how it will be to live at home” Ideas that I formed when I was younger and haven’t actually worked with, looked at, explored effectively and in detail, within writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application and so thus I see here that I now have an opportunity to ReAssert Myself as My Living in this particular environment within and as Self Correction to now Re-Live and Re-Establish who I am within this environment(living at home) form the perspective of what I have come to understand as how to direct myself/Live from the starting point of Equality and Oneness, and so in this Direct Myself to no more simply accept and allow myself to re-live the same ‘ol patterns that I used to live while living at home that were based in self interest but to Physically Live New Patterns based in equality and oneness and Living in the Interest of ALL.

I commit myself to assist and support myself within writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application to release the judgments/program that I have constructed within myself towards my city. I see, realize and understand the judgments I formed in relation to my city was conceived and born out of a Self who had never considered the principle of what is best for all or was even aware of the actual nature of myself as what I had accepted and allowed myself to be and value and live which was in fact Self Interest and Abuse towards life, thus in seeing that my “Program” that I created in relation to my City was a mis-representation of  what I have now come to understand, see, realize as Real Life as Walking/Living Equality and Oneness and Doing What is Best for ALL, I commit myself to no longer accept and allow myself to carry forward such Pre-Programmed Judgments/Opinions/Perceptions/Programs in/as the thought, word, and deed as that which I exist as/participate as here in each moment, but instead Re-Pattern myself as My Living, and who I am existing as in thought, word, and deed in every moment until no more of who I was, exist, and so essentially Start Fresh here within my current environment, living at home, realizing that , I no longer have to react the exact same way that I did in the past and live in the same way, living out the same patterns and so form this perspective it will not just be the same as it always has and that when judgments or reactions come up I can simply breathe and remain here as I see that these such reactions are the remnants / outflow of the program that I created that is still running inside me that I must assist and support myself within writing, self forgiveness and self forgiveness to Correct.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to remain Here in and as Breath as I am walking/Living my day/ outside chopping wood as a practical support point to stabilize myself Here in and as the physical/in and as my physical body amongst the reactions and inner experiences that emerge within me/come up in relation to “being back home” and to simply day by day assist and support myself in writing to explore these inner reactions/experiences that are now triggering and coming up inside me so that I can assist and support myself to actually become stable within my Life and Re-Gain the Directive Principle of Myself instead of just “Remaining as I have always been” which is just me living out the “program” I created myself where I  react to the reactions coming up instead and respond according to how I have created myself as a mind and thus become an absolute pawn to the mind existing in total fluctuations within and as me bouncing around everywhere in my mind and zooming around in reactions, and going here and there in all the various dimensions of the mind, and so I Here commit myself to Equalize Myself to My Environment placing the focus on the physical and assisting and supporting myself to step out of the tumultuousness of the mind into the Stillness and Stability of the Physical and being here breathing instead of flailing around in the alternate reality of the mind/that I have created within and as my mind.

I, see, realize, and understand that I must walk from who I am currently existing as, and support myself to transform myself as who I am currently existing as into that which I am directing myself to become, which is a being that no more exist in and as the mind as self interest but exist here in and as equality and oneness and in fact support life with every iota of who I am in every moment. And so thus I commit myself to practically assist and support myself to walk this correction of myself where in when I see my pre-programming coming up and I am reacting or judging something, I realize that this is in essence “showing me where I am/where I stand” and thus I can than direct myself to look at the point more specifically in writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application so to in essence transform all of my reactions as patterns I am living/existing as into New Patterns that Support Life within the principle of what is best for all until ALL the patterns I live always in all aspects support LIFE for Real where I am in fact Living as a Part of Life that no more abuse/Judge/ compete against itself in any way, and thus that is my Common Sense Self Responsibility.

 

 

 

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