Living At Home – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 130

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself due to me being ‘home’ and staying/living with my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as “less than” for moving back home and living with my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that my moving back home and living with my parents will make it more difficult to find a relationship and so think to myself “I better find a relationship quick” so that I am still able to maintain my worthiness which I have defined would diminish the longer I live at home due to the judgements I have created around this and so here I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself through in now bringing in this Relationship Dimension into play and where now this is paired with the definition of myself as “Living At Home” only drive me further into and as this Mind Definition to act according to this definition and not in any way supporting me to Remain Stable Here as Breath, assisting and supporting myself actually do what is best for myself which is to become Effective within my Practical living expression/application in my environment/living to bring about Change that is Best for ALL

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what other people will think about me within their minds for me “living at home”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe/hold the idea within myself that “living at home is a bad thing”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to return home with preconceived ideas and judgements about this, about living at home and living in the city that I grew up in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged the city I grew up in from the perspective of establishing my own ideas/judgements about the city in relation to who I defined myself to and wanted to be, which I see was a definition of myself that was not based in equality or self acceptance but still “wanting to be something” where in such a pursuit accepted and allowed myself to place all sorts of judgements on the city I grew up in instead of realizing the equality within and between ALL Life no matter where one is.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to today when I was out working in my yard start participating in this “negative experience” that came up inside me about my current situation and how I have moved back home where within this I went into a kind of fear about being back home and thus was/am not able to simply be here in the physical enjoying my environment or the moment in what is actually quit a peaceful place out in the countryside because of this experience emerging coming up within me about “being back home” and “what this means” to me which I have not yet understood or explored in detail in writing but more just experience the energy associated with all the definitions and ideas and perceptions and judgements and memories and thoughts I have accumulated over the years within myself that is the overall assessment of “who I am” and in particular “who I am” in relation to moving back home and living with my parents.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define “living with my parents” as a step backwards.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define living with my parents as a “negative” thing, where I have defined this as “not a normal thing for someone my age to do” and where also I am not fitting into my perceived idealized image of myself as the picture / presentation of me that I would like to present and project to the world as the personality I want to be seen as in the eyes of others, and that Here also I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this “idea” that I have been trying to live out and represent myself as in my life is actually me, not allowing myself to fully apply what I realize and understand which is that this idea that I am trying to present to everyone is not in fact me but only the idea of me that I created within my mind that is not really me as life as an aspect of life that is living in alignment with and as equality and oneness and what is best for all, but is simply a personality that I have created in my mind, and so I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stop participating in this experience that comes up within me about me living at/moving back home, as I see, realize, and understand that this experience is related/connected to this “idea of myself” that is not in fact me anyways in terms of this Me being based in and as Equality and Oneness and what is best for all but that this “me” that I am participating with that is related to/connected to/causing this “negative experience reaction” within me in relation to moving back home is “of the mind” and thus based in fact in self interest and who I am as the mind as energy in competition with other life forms that has in fact missed the point of equality and oneness and living within the principle of equality and oneness and what is best for all. And so thus by participating in this “negative experience” in relation to being back/moving back home I am showing myself that I am still existing in and as the mind instead of being HERE and Asserting and Correcting myself to Be/Live Here as the physical no more accepting and allowing myself to perpetuate / support the existence of me as the mind/self interest/comparison/separation/fighting and in fear of survival etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by movies/media/television with regards to the definition of myself as well as the definition of someone in general “who lives at home” where since in media/movies/television this particular point that I am now standing in is presented as a “failure” or “less than” that I have defined myself as a failure without actually investigating these definitions and ideas that are being propagated through media that I have oh so willingly incorporated and copied as satisfactory concepts and definitions without in fact exploring or seeing all the implications and dimensions such a definition of/as “Living at home” in fact entail, that has been presented through the media, and accordingly widely accepted by popular culture, particularly by those in the west, including myself where I have derived my primary definition of what it means to live at home.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe a TV with regards to what its like and what it means to“live at home” without in fact investigating the practical components of “living at home” myself to in fact assess the practicality of such a point, but have just already made my mind up about it because of what I see on TV, and have thus placed more trust in the television and media to tell me who I am and what is best for me and what is practical, than my own practical physical self investigations and research, where I actually explore and investigate points for myself in real life to make an assessment of the effectiveness of that point, where I am basing this on actual real feedback from my environment not just the feedback one gets from the TV where the Content of TV stems from a human that has not yet considered what is best for ALL.

I will continue with the Self Corrective Statements in the next blog.

Eqafe Support Interviews

Life Review – All I wanted was to be cared for

Other Desteni Links

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

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One thought on “Living At Home – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 130

  1. great blog Andrew, I have also had to face these points. My experience living in Thailand helped with this as it was very common for as many as 3 or 4 generations of family, including extended family, to live in the same household. As a result people often had to work together and have effective relationships, not like in the west where we can fund our spitefulness with the opportunity to move out and ‘find our own way’ in life because the parents and child can not stand each other.

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