Reacting While Writing – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 128

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the experience of being overwhelmed when I write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist writing because I feel so unstable in my writing, where I feel like I am not ever getting effective with my writing where this becomes so frustrating and so just want to give up and stop and quit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience frustration because I believe that my writing should be clear and concise like how others write but sometimes it is not like this at all, and is a complete mess, and then feel completely powerless in how to direct myself when I experience my writing to be “all over the place” and not as structural and organized as how I see others writing to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be/get angry when my writing, self forgiveness and self corrections do not come out in an organized way because I feel powerless to then be able to find a structural lay-out to accommodate my writing that sometimes does not go as planned but is more “all over the place”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be directed by my mind in my writing where in I will be writing about one point and that another point comes up and then I will get stuck and not know which way to go and what to write about and then quickly go into frustration and anger and feeling distraught, which I realize is a mind reaction coming up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition myself to listen to and trust the mind instead of learning to give myself effective self direction where I am the stable point and am able to direct myself within myself and within my writing without going into an emotional experience which has been the case lately where as I have been writing I have been becoming distracted through by going into emotional reactions in relation to my process of writing, where In the end I always just want to give up because I feel like I am at such a cross-roads that the only thing left to do is give up and start over.

I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself to develop self stability within and as myself when I write where I assist and support myself to not engage or go into emotional experiences in relation to/ when I write.

I see, realize, understand that emotional reactions that I have in relation to my writing is that which make me want to give up. I realize that I do not have to react emotionally to my writing, but am able to assist and support myself to “not react to the mind” while writing. I also see that one of my primary reactions that I have within writing is “wanting to quit” where this “wanting to quit” is like the point that all my emotional reactions I have to writing lead to. Thus I see that this “wanting to quit” is more an end point or “solution” my mind give me to when I experience myself reacting to the mind within when I write.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself starting to react emotional to my writing where within writing I start to go into anxiety in relation to “how things are going” I immediately stop and breathe and stabilize myself here in and as breathing and in this assist and support myself to not go into the emotional reaction which ever it may be. I realize that if I start to react in an emotional/feeling experience in relation to my writing that I will not be able to effectively see the points I am working with or assist and support myself to effectively work with points as I realize that I will just be trapped in an emotional mind experience, and so thus I commit myself to as I walk this/my process of becoming consistently stable within my writing, assist and support myself to immediately start with this stopping of emotional reactions within and as myself in relation to writing either during writing or before hand in preparing to write, as I see that to start applying myself now to “not go into emotional reactions in relation my writing/when I am writing” I am more able to support myself in seeing the points I am working with more clearly, a point which I actually react to, and where obviously the emotional reaction to when I am not able to clearly see a point only makes things ‘worse’. And so see, realize, understand that an effective solution correction here is to simply begin now to assist and support myself to be here when I write and aware of this tendency of myself to drift over/into emotional reactions in relation to my writing and so within being aware of this point am able to stop myself immediately when I see myself going into an emotional reaction in relation to writing, either during or before hand.

As an extension of this I see that I can further support myself in this correction in simply also walking in awareness of the tendency I have to “quickly go to a emotional reaction” which I have been doing allot lately, where I will readily jump into an emotional reaction instead of slowing myself from the perspective of walking in awareness of what I am doing and so to when I see myself “ready to quickly jump into an emotional reaction” I can stop myself by simply stopping myself from doing this and rather instead take a deep breath and assist and support myself to be here for a moment and stabilize myself. Doing this because I see, realize, understand that my tendency to “quickly jumping into emotional reactions” does not support me to become effective and stable within my reality and assisting and supporting myself within actually walking practical self responsible solutions within my world, a point that I realize I must address, as I have been accepting and allowing myself to instead of directing myself within taking responsibility for myself within all aspects of me and my life, have been quickly going into the mind in and as emotional reactions which I see, realize, understand in no way support the situation in supporting me to in fact Stop the mind and actually Correct Myself as my Living Expression to be that of one of Responsibility and Taking All Life/Beings into consideration within my expression instead of only ever thinking about and considering Me Only and My Self Interest.

When and as I see myself going into an emotional experience of/within looking at/comparing myself and my writing to others writing where I believe/see my writing as less structured and organized, I stop and I bring myself back here and I breath until I am calm and relaxed. I realize that in worrying about how other people’s writings seem so much better than mine that I am/have already accessed an emotional reaction within myself, I realize that an effective support for me within my writing is to assist and support myself to stop going into emotional reactions. I am still able to look at how others write and use this to support me in my writing process but the point is to ensure that I am not “going into an emotional reaction over it” as this I realize only makes things worse. I commit myself to remain here within breath when and as I write and in this assist and support myself to actually see the points I am working with and also to assist and support myself to walk/practice walking through my writings/blogs in self stability and consistency like the process of breathing naturally in and out and simply walking consistently as self presence until the blog/writing is done.

Eqafe Support Interviews

Life Review – Feeling Like I Don’t Belong

Other Desteni Links

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

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