After yesterdays blog I read Marlens’ blog “Making It or Breaking It”
Which assisted me through giving some different insights and perspectives to look at my experience of myself lately. One of the points I looked at is looking at “where my experience of myself as self enjoyment or not self enjoyment is experience/energy based” and so within my daily walking can support myself to not go into an energetic experience of self enjoyment or disappointment related to my application/expression but rather focus on being here in the physical and not going off into my mind and triggering / creating energetic experiences within myself.
I have kept things really simple since being here the last couple days, just doing physical jobs around the yard and “catching up” with what has been going on with my family since I last saw them.
I can see distinct characters as lived behaviors and patterns which I developed when I used to live here, and so then these Characters/behaviors triggering as “escape points” so to speak.
I will continue here with the Self Corrective Statements from yesterdays Self Forgiveness.
When and as I see myself going into a point of fearing the future where I will look ahead at why lies before me as the road ahead for me and go into disappointment because of believing/seeing that my life will not be enjoyable I stop and breath. I see how I am in fact creating a fear experience within me and a disappointment within me in relation to moments / the future that is not even here but is “in the future” I realize that there is no point to this as all I am doing is creating energetic experiences within myself in relation to future moments that are not even here yet and in doing this am sabotaging my Expression of myself here, where instead of living here in the moment and expressing myself in the moment within and as what is before me, I am not allowing myself to LIVE here but just worrying about what lies ahead and in this not allowing myself to take the moments that are here and Live and express myself within them.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to practice expressing myself to the fullest in the moments that I do have where within and as this I actually Live and Express me, instead of holding myself back from really letting me live and expand in the moment because I got/get to wrapped up in “whats going to happen in some future moment that is not even here” where I end up creating an emotional response within myself in relation to a future moment, instead of focusing myself here in and as the moment I exist within and express and direct myself effectively.
When and as I see myself taking a particular emotional experience of myself whether that be self enjoyment or disappointment and projecting it into the future, I immediately stop myself from doing this and bring myself back here to the moment. I see, realize and understand that these future projected experiences are not real as they are literally “figments of my imagination” that I am creating and projecting / extending/stretching into the future and that they’re not real from the perspective of that I see, realize understand that an energetic experience is “not here” in and as the physical but is an experience that I superimpose onto the moment that is created in my own mind which has not real substantial tangable quality in and as the physical moment.
Thus I commit myself to assist and support myself to walk/exist here in and as the moment where in essence there is no emotional/mind experience and particularly where this emotional experience is then taken on to the next moment but that in fact has no relationship to the moment in itself and so thus I commit myself to stop “interpreting” my life through my mind where I will superimpose emotional / feeling experiences as positive and negative values/energies into my moments and instead direct myself to simply live here taking into consideration my Practical Reality looking at what is practically here that I am able to Direct myself within in a way that is best for all and supports life and to thus direct myself accordingly, instead of compiling emotional experiences in relation to what I am doing or what I will do which then I accept and allow to influence me within my Practical Expression and thus My ability to LIVE in the moment and function effectively within and as my expression in the moment, especially if for instance I am NOT EVEN looking at my moment and what is practically here as I am pre-occupied by some “future moment” that I created in my mind that I am looking and also not focused on an emotional / energetic experience that I might be having in relation to such a projected/imaginary future moment.
When and as I see myself looking ahead within my life and becoming fixated on some future even that I believe / see “I might enjoy” I breath and I bring myself back here to the moment where I stand. I realize that when I do this, I am not Here as Breath and have my full attention Here in the moment which give me the most effective ability to see what is here and thus to practically direct myself in the moment.
I commit myself to assist and support myself to “Live Here” and that means not “thinking ahead” to something that I will “apparently enjoy more” but to practice living and practically expressing myself Here fully in the moment, I see, realize and understand that I have wasted allot of time “looking into the future” where in this I was not allowing myself to really Live Here in the Moment where I could practice and refine my Self Expression in the moment treating the moment that is HERE as “as good as any” and Future more – “The Moment that is Here” and thus directing myself to “Work With/ Exist within ‘The Moment That is Here’” as “Where My Power Is” to be able to practically effectively Live and Express me/ Develop my Self Expression.
I see, realize and understand that the fear I have of “losing my self enjoyment” if I stop thinking is indicating that what I am fearing losing what I have defined as self enjoyment in relation to the mind which I see, realize, understand is simply the fearing of losing an energetic experience that I create/generate within myself.
I have encountered this point a few times where I fear losing my experience of myself within stopping my mind and that I am in fact seeing that I am fearing the loss of my “Mind Experience” where I have accepted and allowed myself to define this “life without the mind” as “boring” where its like I look at the physical and think to myself “but without the mind it will be boring and bland” when I see that what I am in fact doing is manipulating myself because I see that what I am fearing is “not the apparent boredom of the mind” but the loss of the “Mind Experience” that I am participating within in thoughts, feelings, emotions.
I commit myself to assist and support myself within writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application stop my participation/existence within my “internal mind realities” where in I have created myself in such a way that I am always busy existing in my “internal mind realties” and am never exist here in and as the Actual Reality as the physical reality. Thus within my writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application I commit myself to assist and support myself to walk/step out of my “internal mind realities” into this this ONE practical physical REAL reality and become effective as Living, expressing and directing myself here, doing this in a way that is practical functionally Best For All as that which I see, realize, understand will give the most optimum support to support ALL beings to in fact reach their highest potential, where all beings on earth are cared for and supported in an equal way so that ALL have an equal footing/support to expand and develop to their highest potential, not only a few that use the the labour of others to make themselves more or better while millions suffer and have not support as how it is now which is not a system / world where people live within the principle of what is best for all, but that refuse to change the starting point living expression of themselves and thus continue to live in self interest and greed.
Here I commit myself to push for self honest enjoyment in the moment meaning where I ensure that I am always taking into consideration and directing myself within the context of what is best for all and that I am not accepting and allowing myself to undulge in “what I enjoy” or moments of enjoyment “on someone else’s dollar” or where someone else must suffer for my enjoyment within the practical context of my environment. I also stop myself from searching out or seeking out moments of self enjoyment but rather focus my attention on taking Self Responsibility where I prioritize my life based on Practical Responsibility in terms of what needs to be practically directed so that ALL have the opportunity to express themselves within moments or activities that where one can explore themselves in for instance art or music or another hobby or watching a movie or relaxing etc, instead of trying to prioritize my life within a “me first” context where I always try and seek out or find moments where I can “enjoy myself” even if others are now having to support my moment of enjoyment by applying themselves practically in a task to ensure that “my moment of enjoyment” is supported.
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