Self ResponSTABILITY – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 110

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have believed/believe that I need/require a relationship to be stable, and thus have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my own stability within believing that it exist “out-there” in a relationship, instead of taking responsibility for my own stability and developing this within and as myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I need/require a relationship to be “stable in the system” believing that I am not able to become stable in the system with just me alone, and so do not even try and so within this acceptance and allowance not take on the point of walking, living absolute Stability in the System with myself Alone.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my ability to be Stable and thus limited myself to remaining in an experience of anxiety and restlessness not realizing my ability to live absolute Stability with and as myself exist Here with Me and that I am able to Life this right where I stand.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to have throughout my life defined my Stability of myself in relation to having relationships with others that provide some kind of stability for me in my life and that I haven’t trusted myself to live this alone, and in fact believed I am not able to live Stability with myself alone, but that “something will happen” that “I am too fragile” that “there is too many risks” and so feared standing As my own stability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as Weak alone and strong within a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define becoming stable in the system as “too complicated”, where I will go into a point / perception of myself as “not being qualified for this”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with a picture in my mind that comes up in relation to the point of becoming stable in the system where I see a businessman in a grey suit who is tall and an expert businessman in the system where in relation to this picture I see myself as inadequate, unqualified, not having the skills or intelligence to become effective in the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as a “country boy” and within this have also defined/seen this as a disadvantage.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see a picture come up within me of a businessman, trigger another picture within myself of the countryside and seeing myself in the country side as being a country boy, and then participating within my mind as back-chat about me not being qualified or capable of being stable in the system or “making it” in the system because I was not born and raised in the system / the heart of the system but moved here later on and so do not have the way to be successful in the system born and raised into my flesh and DNA and so thus see myself as Lacking a Necessary Component to becoming Successful / Effective in the System and thus Stable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I have a disadvantage in relation to others within being successful in the system, and that I have accepted this Idea as truth and thus held onto it and lived it out in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop this idea that I am missing a necessary ingredient or component required to be effective and successful in the system when I moved to the city from the country and found I did not fit in like those from the city fit in with each other.

myself to feel/experience a feeling/sense of hopelessness when I go to work, because everything seems to move so slow and now after months of my new job, no real advances seem to be emerging, and so each day I simply breath and walk and wonder “if anything will ever change” and within this statement become anxious towards my position within the system at the moment because things just seem to move so slow.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself from how my life is and how my job is and where I always seem to believe that “I must be doing something wrong” particularly when things move slowly and nothing seems to want to give.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as a Subject to my Situation instead of a Solution/Director.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drive myself insane everyday looking at all the other people who from my perspective seem to be in a stable position within society and the system, where in relation to this I experience an inner frustration while asking myself the Question “Why?, Why is my situation the way it is and why does it have to be like this?” also asking this question in relation to the belief that “I will be in this position forever” which I fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “go insane” at how long things are taking and also going “insane” due to me having the belief that I will never be financially independent and Stable in my life, and that none of the ideas I have Will ever work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that none of the ideas I have about how to go about placing myself within a financially stable point/position in the system will ever work, and so do not really take on pursing any ideas I have really full-on within the belief that I am deluding myself and that It will never work, particularly in relation to money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe within myself that I can make allot of money but also at the same time, having a deeper belief that “I am kidding myself” and thus fear that I am kidding myself and so within this fear, that I have deluded myself with where “truthfully” My ideas will never work, I never really commit myself to walking any of them, as I have believed the idea I have presented to myself in fear instead of Directing Myself in Stable Consistent Physical Practical Self Direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that things are supposed to happen easily and effortlessly and if they don’t than I am doing something wrong and that “it is not meant to be” and so I just give up on myself and what I am doing because if things don’t go absolutely perfect I take this as a sign of “im not supposed to do that” and then become discouraged.

 

I commit myself to realize that My Stability is My Responsibility and that if I am unable to stand as absolute Self Stability with myself than no partner or relationship will bring me this as I will still lack the Stability that I did not learn to stand as, within and as myself but abdicated this responStability to someone else to provide for me, and so thus I commit myself to identify those experiences of myself as/within the moments where I am looking outside myself for some form of relief, and to in those such moments stop this externalization of my Attention as I see/realize/understand that I must be the one that provide for me the Stability of me.

And so thus in such moments bring my attention back to me here realizing I must support myself to develop my own stability as me that remain with me constant whether I am in a relationship or not, and that thus I am in fact Free to become absolutely Stable right now and thus do not have to accept and allow the experience of fluctuation and instability within me, and so thus take responsibility for my own Stability.

I commit myself to take responsibility for my own stability

I commit myself to practicing Standing as my own Stability of and as myself and no more accept and allow myself to fall back into the justification back-chats based on fear of “I am too fragile” “there are too many risks” “I can’t do it”

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing this limitation I have accepted of and as myself as my previous belief and Idea that Alone I am weak but that with a relationship I am strong, and thus I commit myself to transform this to a point of actual Self Empowerment where I Direct myself to stand as Self Strength with and as myself alone, and to when and as I see myself starting to “weaken” from the perspective of going into / caving into an experience as a want/desire/need for a relationship/agreement to support me and be the strength for me I Stop and I do not accept and allow myself to LIMIT myself in this way where in I am essentially willingly weakening and disempowering myself instead of realizing that the Idea I created about who I am is in fact disempowering myself and so I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself with transforming myself as this accepted idea that I was living out as “by myself alone, I am weaker” and “with a relationship I am able to do more and be more stable”, transforming this into a point of Self Empowerment as the realization that I am Always Responsible for my own Stability and thus implying also that there is in fact no Limit to how Stable I can actually be with myself alone, a point that I have previously missed and accepted and allowed myself to place a “cap” on, only ever getting so stable and then crumbling and collapsing again into myself as the need and desire for a relationship which I believed would “make it better”

I commit myself to become my own motivation to follow through with points I am taking on, instead of looking for this motivation outside myself, and thus within becoming my own motivation I develop Self Stability as I Support me to walk through/face/Direct what is here.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to participate with / belief the back-chat that “I am not enough qualified to become stable within the system but instead simply focus on Physical Self Movement to Ensure the Physical Tasks within my world are moving, so rather I commit myself to bring myself out of participating with my back-chat, and into participating within and as my Physical Application where I am actually able to move/direct my practical physical reality/world. Something I am not able to do with my mind.

I commit myself to re-evaluate my position on “how things move/are supposed to work in this world/reality” and within this not just give up when there is a sign of things not going perfectly smoothly, but assist and support myself to push through resistance and difficulties from the perspective of applying physical effort to the tasks I am busy with and push myself and the task to keep moving when things don’t go exactly perfectly how I “believed” they would

 

FEATURED EQAFE INTERVIEW

 

The Soul of Money – Fight to the Death for Energy and Money.

 

Other Desteni Links

 

desteni.org

 

eqafe.com

 

equalmoney.org

 

desteniiprocess.com

 

Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

 

Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

 

7 Year Journey To Life Facebook Page

 

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