ART – Nothing Will Ever Come Of It Anyway: An Artists Journey To Life: Day 106

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to hesitate and draw back into myself when the point of “money” came up today in relation to a service that I would provide.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to doubt myself within providing the service I was offering where in I saw myself as unable to walk the point effectively, where in I feared not being able to do it correctly/right/effectively.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear being rejected where the being would reject me because my price is to high, where this thought actually comes up right away where I see the being reacting negatively to the price offered where they are existing within the belief that “it should not be that much” and where I in relation to this feel embarrassed like I am being greedy or incorrect in my assessment of pricing the point.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the value I place on the art/design work I do should be cheaper than the work I do that is more manual labour type things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I am ripping people off when I charge them a high price for doing design work, even though in charging a low price, I am actually creating an equation that will not be able to accumulate into anything sustainable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the idea within me that I will never make money doing design work, and that I am unable to price my design work within an equation that will yield sufficient money accumulation, and so within this acceptance, go into the point of just not wanting to do it, or simply not doing it, and not even considering it because I will not make money at it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear actually charging an amount which would assist and support the development of a stable business service that I could offer as offering Design Services. And that I have accepted and allowed this fear to direct me based on the belief as the back chat that i have that “It Will Never Work”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the backchat “It Will Never Work” in relation to being able to set up an effective Design Business.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear venturing into even moving/directing myself within this point because I fear rejection and I fear failing, and so always stop myself from moving in this direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within the back-chat “It will never work” within looking at the point of walking myself and another through the process of developing for them all the necessary Design and Marketing points required to start a business.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear charging money for the art and design I do, because I fear people rejecting this and then me not getting the job, and so have just avoided this point all together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never investigate this point as the experience of myself in relation to Art/Design when ever this come up where there is a potential to offer my services and why I have resisted this so much and feared actually walking this point with other beings.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear deliberately want to not have this point work so that I do not have to “tease” myself anymore into believing that this might actually be something that I could do to earn an effective income with and have be a sustainable useful service that I can support others with, because I don’t want to get my hopes up and have them crushed like before, and that I would rather just have the point out of my life forever to as not to end up in an experience of being let down because the point does not work out, and so just avoid the point all together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe within myself that anything to do with Art or Design in terms of Making money / selling art / offering and selling my service is, will only ever be a “one off” where in I make the back-chat statement within me “why waste my time”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid and put off to the side anything to do with art or design within the context of offering this to others for money because I just don’t believe anything will ever come of it, and so just shut the door on any opportunity that comes up within my world, believing “it will not work out”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe within myself that points in relation to art and design will Never work out, and so never pursue opportunities that come up within my world, just seeing such opportunities as hassles or points where “I won’t make any money anyways” and so not ever bother with the point, due to my belief as back-chat within me “people will not pay enough anyways” so what is the point of even doing it, as in doing it I will just end up placing myself in a point of debt where I must work long arduous ours for no pay, which has been my primary experience within Art in relation to money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear charging enough money to make the point of art and design sustainable.

 

I commit myself to at least explore and investigate this point in writing, self forgiveness and self correction before I give up on it within accepting my idea that “it will never work” as I see that I have not even yet taken this point on for myself within effective writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application. And so thus I commit myself to explore within writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application the points of

Why I draw back into myself when ever the point of charging money comes up in relation to art and design.

Why I have/am insisted/insisting that the point of offering design service will not work

What judgements do I have towards myself towards this point

Why I am so quick to dismiss this point and not even bother with pursing or entertaining any ideas about this what so ever but just push any opportunity that comes up off to the side within the “idea” that “it will never work anyways”

Why I feel/believe that people will never want to pay a sustainable wage for art/design services.

What judgements do I have about design/graphic design / art (as a job/service)

I commit myself to assist and support myself within and through writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application to actually explore and investigate this point as a point of actively supporting myself within self movement in relation to this point instead of just playing out the same patterns and behaviours and reactions in relation to this point, without any Effective, Consistent Supportive self investigation around this point so that I can assist and support myself to see more intimately, intricately clearly, expansively into all the various aspects and dimensions at play and interacting here which is creating my Programmed Living Behaviour as in how I act and have directed/moved myself in this point thus far up to this point in my life.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to Re-Align myself within this point of “considering taking on a design project for someone” as I see that my “immediate reaction” was Self Doubt which I accepted as who I am and so thus I commit myself to assist and support myself within writing, self forgiveness, and self correction stop accepting “self doubt” at face value where I just accept it as truth without investigating the entire scope of the point so to see EXACTLY why and how I have accepted this self doubt as myself in relation to this point and other points, so that I am absolutely certain within myself of who I am within the decisions I make instead of Blindingly accepting Self Doubt just because it was my immediate reactions, and so thus I Commit myself to assist and support myself within stopping my BLIND ACCEPTANCES of points/experiences/reactions/beliefs/backchats without seeing in exact detail how the particular acceptance that I am accepting came to be so that I am standing in Absolute Self Trust and Stability when I am making a Decision to move one way or another instead of accepting Blind Faith and thus Unawareness of Self as the Nature of Who I am in the Decisions I make as my Living Behaviour and thus Who I Am.

I commit myself to assist and support myself in writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application to walk the points mentioned above and essentially walking the aspects/dimensions of this point of Art / Design Service and This related to Money or offering money so to bring forth Self Direction and Self Understanding and thus Stability and Trust in the decisions I am making in this point instead of existing within a feeling like “I don’t know why this point is the way it is” which I have accepted and allowed myself to leave it at without Substantially Supporting myself to Develop Self Awareness of/in relation to/ as this point within myself, through investigating/exploring/looking at this point in writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application.

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Life Review – My Life As A Failed Artist

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One thought on “ART – Nothing Will Ever Come Of It Anyway: An Artists Journey To Life: Day 106

  1. Pingback: Separating Myself From Me in My Definition of Art/Artist – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 107 | An Artists Journey To Life

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