Faithful Obeying FEAR – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 105

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to present myself in relation to fear as that fear being the starting point of what and how I present myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be faithfully obedient to FEAR, responding and shaping myself according to fear I experience which I have not stopped to question but simply quickly react/respond to, where fear become the primary motivator of me as who I have shaped myself to be/present myself as in the eyes of others/this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed other people to be that which determine who I am from the perspective of the FEAR within me of “what other people think about me” where in this FEAR I construct who I am as acceptable in the eyes of others and thus my total experience become based on a/this principle of fear being that to which I obediently respond to without fail and without question. A/The fear I see that is the fear of not being accepted or the fear of being disliked by others/society and ultimately being an outcast, which I actually FEAR I am, and so must hide this truth of myself that I have accepted as me that I am evil/bad and thus less than other life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being who I think I am/thought myself to be as Strong and Always getting things correct and knows what to do all the time, and also I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that this idea of myself as being strong, always getting things correct and knows what to do all the time is a Character Presentation that I Act out and not really me as who I really am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear extensively character reactions and so have always moved and directed myself in a way that support all other characters to remain/be stable, essentially supporting with absolute effectiveness the sustainability of the LIE on Earth as Life, not ever daring so step out of Character in the slightest even with a tiny waiver that might cause another Character to react, because I fear these such reactions as these such reactions threaten my own Character Presentation as the perfect Air Tight presentation that never allow anybody to see beyond the Character to the actual real me that exist there behind the mask as the Character I project.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having all the answers because I fear that this will make me powerless, that if I am not my ideal self who I perceive and belief myself to be that then walking this process of self honesty will be impossible for me because I am not the perceived/belied Me that “Is able to walk process” and is capable of walking process which I have accepted and allowed myself to define as this ideal me that I try and live and uphold each day, and fear losing as the definition/idea of myself because if I lose this, so will go with this my “know how” in walking my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a character that apparently know exactly how to walk process and has all the answers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to myself to exist as a Character that knows all the answers and stand as a rock as one who never fails or falls or makes a mistake, where In I have presented myself / lived as this character when this is not really me at all as who I really am, but is only a character that I have presented as myself as this is seen in a favourable light in the eyes of others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear people seeing me as vulnerable, and so when I am around people, present myself as a character that is strong and project a kind of self strength, A character that hide the real me that I fear showing or having people know about which is why I never show who I really am but always maintaining some form of Character Presentation to protect myself from every actually being seen by anybody in absolute truth and openeness, as this “real me” I judge and I have defined and judged as not good enough, and thus

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project myself as / exist as Character Presentations due to me judging myself as not good enough. And so have in fear of people finding out/seeing this who I really am which I have judged, project a Character instead. A Character standing on a foundation of FEAR. FEAR of someone seeing me for real without trying to make or present myself to be anybody than who I really am in all that I have accepted and allowed as myself.

 

I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself within writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application to stop directing/moving/shaping myself according to fear and to investigate how I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as fear(s) as being that which determine how I interact and express myself within my life.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to faithfully obey FEAR as the Directive Principle of fear where I have not bothered to look at the experience of fear that propel me into Character Presentations to in looking at such fears support myself to understand the nature of the fear that I have accepted and allowed to direct me without me even questioning or looking at or investigating the fear for myself where within this I deconstruct it and in essence “Face my Fear”.

I commit myself to Direct myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to be Directed by fears that I have simply allowed to direct me a thousand times without even bothering to ask myself why I have simply accepted this fear to be the director and controller of me, instead of me deciding who I am in every moment, and thus directing myself to Dare to Face my Fears as that point(s) which I have abdicated my directive principle to, and dared not to face, but just constantly and continuously reacted/respond to in instantly as the perfect obedient slave.

I commit myself to investigate all the judgements I have accepted and allowed myself to have towards myself and exist as, so that I am able to stand HERE as myself Free from self judgement and thus have no reason to FEAR people seeing this me, which I in FEAR due to self judgement Hide from others as/within Character Projection. And so thus I commit myself to assist and support myself within writing, self forgiveness and self correction, stop my accepted and allowed Judgements towards myself that I have carried within/throughout my life and believe I must carry hold as a burden and weight on me that I am not able to let go of/release because I am a bad person.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to break Character and assist and support myself to “Live for real” meaning living and being here as the real me that never have to present a character to try and protect me or protect some aspect of me from being exposed revealed to another, and so I commit myself assist and support myself within writing, self forgiveness and self correction to become able to stand in absolute openness, transparency and vulnerability allowing the real me to be seen in every moment as I no more fear any part/aspect of me which I see is related to self judgement as the reason why I would want to protect and hide a part/aspect of me.

FEATURED EQAFE INTERVIEW

Life Review – Always Expecting the Worst

Other Desteni Links

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

7 Year Journey To Life Facebook Page

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One thought on “Faithful Obeying FEAR – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 105

  1. Pingback: Flying, forgiving and flying again. « Artsy fartsies

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