I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into “self destructive mode” where I give into the mind and just exist within this “self destructive” character because I am angry at/with myself for not standing within decisions I have made to change myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn into an evil demon angry and disgusted with myself yet at the same time, seeing and realizing that the best course of action is to stop existing in this self destructive character and return to assisting and supporting myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as evil and that everything I do is evil and within this judgement see no reason to express myself as it does not matter because I am evil anyways, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that failure and Evil is who I am and who I always will be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up on myself claiming that this was inevitable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to hide from applying myself because I believe “what’s the point in applying myself if that application is a lie and I will not stand anyways” and so within this accepted and allowed back-chat not even bother to apply myself within the accepted and allowed belief that “there is no point, because I am not ready to stand anyways”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within this self destructive tantrum character, look for all the ways I will not stand and why I will not stand and why I will fail, instead of realizing that this is my character as back-chat talking, and thus not valid. And so
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not being able to stand myself when I look at me and thus do not want to look at me and face who I am as what I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to come to judge the reflection I see in the mirror as who I am and what exists within and as me to such a degree that I just want to hide away from myself and just rather sleep than face myself.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to judge myself as evil and everyone else as innocent believing that I am the one that is doing so badly and have thus not “made the mark” and so want to close my eyes and sleep and just not face me.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to start again. And face who I am, facing the self that I am and have created through my acceptances and allowances and self programming.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to insist that self destruction and annihilation of self is “the best course of action” instead of stopping and doing an assessment of what would in fact Support me to correct myself within the point, because I see/realize/understand, that self destruction is not best for me or best for all.
I commit myself to investigate within myself how I developed this “reactionary behaviour” within my life because I see that my experience of this self destructive character is in a way like throwing a temper tantrum and pitying myself and putting on a show instead of facing the truth of the situation.
I commit myself to stopping my participation and behaviour in the self destructive tantrum character and walk self correction in utilizing and applying myself within what I am able to see that is here as Self Support, instead of denying myself this, even when am able to see points which come up within me that would be a Self Supportive correction I could apply, but that I deny and push aside to continue living out my self destructive tantrum character.
I see that this self destructive mode is a pattern because it always comes up like clockwork in relation to falling/not standing within decisions I have made where my immediate reaction is anger, and self destruction, where I active this self destructive character where in I “get mad at myself” instead of immediately going into self correction.
I commit myself to get myself back on track with effective self support and application within self responsibility as I see/realize/understand that this at the very least is more supportive than accepting and allowing myself to exist within the “Self Destructive Tantrum” Character.
I commit myself to realize that all the inner conversations and back-chat within me as words I speak to myself within and as this experience / character of self destruction such as
I am a bad person
I am terrible
I am stuck
I have failed
I am a failure
I am evil
Whats the point
I am not ready
You are a failure
See – you failed
This was inevitable, thus your application was never real
I will never get this
This means that I will never get this point
Is all back-chat of and as the Self Destructive Character and thus only support itself as a character and not me standing up within and as oneness and equality, and so I commit myself to stop participating with/listening to such back-chat and instead direct myself to get back on track with re-assessing where I can be more effective within my application and where I can support myself more effectively and then continue again with walking in self support, as I also see that the longer I allow myself to remain within this Character, I am equally and one programming this Character into my living patterns as me, and so thus conversely within stopping myself immediately from going into this character and instead standing up within immediate self correction I am programming myself to Stand back up when I fall in immediate self forgiveness and self correction and so within this am able to assist and support myself to program me as my living patterns to be Self Supportive, programming out the accepted and allowed space for me as Characters/Self Interest/Mind to Assert itself as the directive principle of me, and thus within this develop an effective Living Time-Line of myself so that each moment/notch in my timeline eventually stand in and as Self Support within the principle of what is best for all.
I commit myself to work on my reflection of me that I see as me within writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application, instead of trying to hide from this reflection because obviously hiding from me is never a solution and so I commit myself to facing my own reflection and taking the points that are that are standing out as points “ I do not like about me” and to work with these points, one by one, within my process of writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application.
I commit myself to stop measuring myself in relation how I perceive everyone else to be walking, and to instead commit myself to working with myself in a consistent way to bring about results of self change, that do not happen within hiding from myself, stopping my application and worrying about how I do not measure up. In simplicity, consistent application is the most effective way to support myself and so to simply direct myself within this principle of Consistent application.
I commit myself to take a breath, and start again, Directing myself within Self Support instead of denying myself this and accepting and allowing myself to exist within a character of self destruction. That is not necessary because Self Destruction is not self support and so is obvious to see to stop this character is best for me, and so thus I commit myself to step out of this character and star again within my process of self investigation through writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application to assist and support myself to walk out of the mind and into here in and as the physical and learn/understand how to live effectively here in and as the physical in and as equality and oneness.
I see that the physical already exist within equality and oneness, and so thus I do not have to try and figure out how to exist within equality and oneness as the example is already here in full application as the physical in how for instance my body is existing here within and as breath in physical relationship with the planet as the air and water provided by/as the planet for the body to live, and so thus within this I see/understand the point of stepping out of the mind and into the physical, and becoming aware of my physical body and how it interacts co-exists with what is here as the entire physical in equality.
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