Today my boss told me that he thinks that “I don’t have what it takes” to run a business. This was/is not the first time that someone has told me this. When he said it what immediately came up within me is a rememberance/memory of when one of my Art teachers said “I’m to nice” and because of this I won’t make it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to believe what my boss told me today, because then I can go into self pity and give up on myself, which would be allot easier than actually staying the course and directing myself stand equal and one to the system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “I don’t have what it takes” because I fear conflict and believe that my tendency to want to rather avoid conflict will stop me from actually expanding myself and standing up and participating within the system effectively.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe my boss in him saying “I don’t have what it takes” instead of trusting myself within my application of taking responsibility for my life within the point of becoming effective in the system/money system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to sabotage myself by ‘reminding’ myself of my current position in the system where I use this against myself within myself as back-chat /inner conversations supporting this idea that “I don’t have what it takes” instead of realizing that this is in fact back-chat and thus stop participating with this and bring myself back here as breath and continue walking my process of self support.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself within and as my back-chat in relation to this point that “I don’t have what it takes” by bringing up within myself all my faults and weaknesses where in this I actually fuel this idea of me being inadequate.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to activate and play out the “I’m Inadequate” Character.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use this point at work to Activate and Live out the “Im Inadequate” character where I will in a way give up on myself and also fuel this character /idea of myself within my back-chat by bringing up all the previous failures I have had in my life and where I start looking at all the negative things about my life in a way so as to validate my existence within and as this “I’m Inadequate” Character, where I will then start to in fact physically live out this Character within my physical behaviour in slumping my shoulders and slouching, and hanging my head, where this feeling of heaviness comes over me and I move myself slower all participating with/acting out this “Im Inadequate” Character
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize how easy it is to live out/activate this “I’m Inadequate” Character as I have lived this character allot in the past and so fit right into it.
I commit myself to within writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective statements investigate the “I’m Inadequate Character” and within doing this assist and support myself to stop sabotaging , my life deliberately meanwhile making it seem like I am not responsible for this which is what me as my “I’m Inadequate” Character attempt to make it seem like.
I commit myself to exploring within writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements, why and how I have accepted and allowed “conflict” to be a point that I will not cross and have accepted and allowed myself to justify and excuse myself from facing, somehow making this seem valid instead of standing up and facing conflict within my world instead of accepting and allowing myself to hide away from it.
I commit myself to identify any doubts that I have within myself and also within this realize that any doubt I have is my responsibility and that if these doubts come up in relation to statements that people say about me, it is indicating that I have already had these doubts within and am already doubting myself, not that what was said “created” the doubt. It only triggered what was already wtihin/inside me, and thus
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I had suppressed the doubts and uncertainties within me that came up today in relation to the statement “I don’t have what it takes” and so thus I commit myself to instead of suppressing the doubts and uncertainties within me so that I forget about them/do not see them, assist and support myself to find all my self created doubts and uncertainties that I have not faced and directed and worked with within writing, self forgiveness and self correction, so in this assist and support myself by looking into myself instead of having to have an event take place where I am shaken and all that I have buried within me come to the surface.
I commit myself to work with myself within writing, self forgiveness and self correction to assist and support myself to always be bringing to the surface that which I have hidden within me where my process of writing, self forgiveness and self correction become a process of self investigation where I am going into myself and finding those points within me that I require to direct/correct about myself to align myself with taking/standing in full self responsibility of myself and so thus finding all those aspects/points/dimensions within myself where I am not yet aligned effectively within stable self responsibility and correcting/re-aligning these aspects/points/parts/dimensions of me so that I can take responsibility for all of me.
I commit myself to realizing that any time I must actively create/generate within my mind within speaking and back-chat an experience that I am participating with that this as a character and so to in such moments investigate the nature of those inner conversations and to identify what points within myself and my life I am still judging about myself.
When and as I see myself participating in back-chat within myself where I start to actively find points within myself to use to validate my “Im Inadequate” Character I immediately stop as I realize that I am the one who is in fact deliberately doing this and that I am able to stop and breathe and be here and rather assist and support myself to step out of this character instead of stepping further and further into and feuling it to make it bigger and more overwhelming and thus seem more valid and relevant. Further more I am able to assist and support myself by directing myself to continuing with my practical daily tasks and responsibilities because I see/realizing/understand that any time an “experience” stop me from completing my basic daily tasks and responsibilities that I am in fact giving power to / hiding within a Character instead of me directing myself here in self responsibility and have thus deliberately creating a point in my life so to attempt to hide and escape from facing myself and this world daily. And so I make sure that I daily walk my practical responsibilities and assist and support myself to become stable in this and complete these tasks no matter what as these tasks are in fact important – more important than wallowing in some experience as some character.