Within Arms Reach – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 96

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to continue with applying myself within taking responsibility for me and stopping the mind when I hit “lulls” in where my experience of myself goes into a “low” / “Lull” and then the back-chat follows, “when is this going to end” where I speak such backchat to manipulate myself into giving up and giving into the mind and indulging in the mind and the experiences of the mind.

I commit myself to stop using the lulls/lows as experience of myself as an apparently valid reason/excuse to stop applying myself and run and hide and escape in the mind, where in I have accepted and allowed myself to use this experience of myself as feeling low as a Back-Door to enter into the mind and stop applying myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into disappointment and sadness within myself within seeing/realizing that the fulfilment and satisfaction I seek within pursing my desires is in fact the mind and not actual real reality, and so the sadness and disappointment comes up within realizing that “ I will never have my desires”

I commit myself to stop giving my power/directive principle away to sadness and disappointment, where in I have accepted and allowed myself to define and accept and allow sadness and disappointment to control and direct me where I allow sadness and disappointment to be used as an excuse to stop applying myself because “apparently I can’t” due to the sadness and disappointment within myself.

I commit myself to identifying where and how and when I accept and allow/ have accepted and allowed myself to use sadness and disappointment as an experience/experiences that “I just can not walk through” in so to expose these Characteristics of and as myself as points that “I have still maintained as valid excuses and justifications for me to stop applying myself and go and participate in the mind when I see/realize/understand that there is no valid excuse/justification/reason for this, and so I direct myself to stop participating/engaging in sadness and disappointment as I see/realize/understand that  these are like traps I have placed for myself to try and catch me and lure me back into the mind, and so thus I see the trap and I stop and do not “go into” / “indulge in” / “participate with” sadness and disappoint as justifications to “Give-Up” on myself and go into the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to search high and low within myself for a way I can bring my “desires” into manifestation as a real world experience, believing that this will make me happy.

I commit myself within writing, self forgiveness and self corrective statements/application support myself to Align myself to walking/living my process Here in and as the physical in practical self direction where I no more accept and allow myself to deliberately side-track myself by going into mind desires /realities which I have given authority to as myself, instead of me Living as my Authority and thus Self Responsibility in Directing Myself here in and as the physical to bring about a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to manipulate myself into thinking/believing/seeing my desires as self honesty so that I can pursue them and move/direct myself according to them, looking within me for some way where this is justified.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to justify having my desires within and through the back-chat statement “I deserve it”

I commit myself to realize that “I deserve to live as a self honest being” as that is actually what is best for me and thus I commit myself to stop manipulating myself to believe that my desires are actually good/what is best for me / what I deserve when within me I know that applying myself in self honesty, self responsibility, self will, and practical self direction here in every moment is actually best for me and best for life, as within doing this I can practically support the creation of myself as a being that no more in any way accept abuse within and as me and thus assist and support the actual ending of abuse on the planet. And so I commit myself to stop manipulating myself to live/strive for/give attention to that which in fact Do NOT support me as my desires/wants/needs

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create and participate with the idea within myself that “something good will happen to me” as a way to attempt to justify me having my desires.

I commit myself to realize that anything “good” that will happen to me, must be a self willed action of taking self responsibility for myself as I see/realize that I have abuse the definition of good – accepting and allowing myself to define “good” within the context of my desires, being that where I receive without considering as that which I strive for being the point/question/direction of “how can I receive” but rather , How can I give as I would like to receive.

I commit myself to stop my living existence day in and day out within and as the principle of “how can I receive” and to assist and support myself to transform this principle into “how can I support” where I transform my pursuit of happiness as Self Interest as the striving to get and receive into the application of myself as “giving as I would like to receive”.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “hold out hope” that I will at some point get to experience all my desires.

I commit myself to re-focus/align my attention from within the mind within “holding out hope” that I will get to experience all my desires, to looking at, investigating, exploring how I can Give as I would like to receive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue giving value to my desires even when seeing that my desires are in fact based on pictures and memories and feelings within me/my mind that I have created as an illusionary reality in my mind where I have charged this specific illusionary reality as my desire with a feeling that I then pursue and chase after and search for within my physical environment.

I see/realize/understand that when and as I give my attention to my mind/desires/feelings I am perpetuating this world as we have created it as wars, starvation, poverty, etc…instead of being here and working towards/applying myself within actually bringing forth a world that is best for all. I see realize that this in fact implies that I do not care. Because Caring is actually doing something about it, which I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard within accepting and allowing myself to just continue participating in my own self interested pursuits within participating within and as my mind.

I commit myself to within writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application, and introspective questioning, investigate how it is possible that I do not in fact care, within this context of not yet walking absolutely as Self discipline walking of stopping the mind in every moment, but still accept and allow myself to have backdoors into the into the mind and into mind desires where suddenly I will slip into a back door and into my dimension of self interest where this is somehow justified instead of me standing HERE in Every Breath in Self Honesty, ending stopping the slipping out/into back-doors of the mind to still exist within/experience who I am as the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give directive principle of myself to a feeling which I become possessed by that I have attached to pictures and memories, that I occupy myself within my day trying to make real within my world, and thus give my attention to this pursuit of trying to create a situation/scenario within my reality where I can live out the picture in my head which I have connected the feeling experience to and have defined as a Desire.

I commit myself to within writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application as well as self introspection, identify what Back-Doors I am still consistently utilizing to Slip out the back door of my application of taking self responsibility for myself where once through this door, all responsibility is off and I am existing within absolute abdication of my directive principle of me so to let go of my responsibilities and go off playing in the mind of and as self interest.

I commit myself to investigating why I have placed windows on my backdoors so that I can glimpse inside to se what is going on that I might/maybe would be interested which is indicating that I have not yet committed to walking here in self responsibility but am still keeping my “self interest” “Hanging Around” so that I can still “once and while” go off and indulge in the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with the back-chat “something good will happen to me” based on the idea that “something always good happens to someone/people in there lives”, and so within myself exist in a state of hoping, wishing, praying that soon the day will come when “something good will finally happen to me/I will be happy” and within this I forgive myself for not realizing that I have defined the sole purpose of my life as that day when ‘something good finally happen to me” as that moment where I will get to live out my desire and experience my own personal moment of satisfaction.

I commit myself to stop giving my power away to “feelings” and thus to when and as I see myself to moving myself as my attention towards/onto a feeling or desire I stop and bring myself back here . In this I assist and support myself to discipline myself to living HERE in and as the physical in and as breath and practical self direction in and as self responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want “something good to happen to me” where my life suddenly changes “for the better”

I commit myself to stop pursuing “something good to happen to me” but rather focus/re-align myself to my living here in and as breath focusing as the Task at hand to assist and support myself in practical self development as that which I can practically do here in and as the breath in and as the moment in every moment , and so thus instead of “waiting for something good to happen” I rather, direct/move me to apply myself and develop myself where the only place self development ever takes place – HERE, in and as the moment I am in. In this I work with the equality equation and accumulation affect where I the more I am practically applying myself here in and as the PHYSICAL, the more the Physical results will accumulate, instead of becoming pre-occupied within my mind wondering when my life will change, but never practically directing my moments within practical physical self direction because I am to busy spending my moments in my mind, where I am never actually practically applying myself  effectively as I have placed my focus on some moving picture in my head where who I am as a physical expression become like a zombie that hardly move a all, and thus nothing ever moves/changes within my world.

I commit myself to realize and apply myself as the starting point of “my world” where in I work with self change in and as myself, assisting and supporting myself within writing, self forgiveness and self correction as a process to assist and support myself to change myself starting from/with who I am on a very basic/local level, thus with Self. And so before I go and try and “change my world” I start with myself and my process of self change within and as myself, through my process of writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to chase “something else” / “something better” day in and day out, all the while completely ignoring what is here as me in this moment, passing this over as “not being it” as the thing I am looking for, as the desire I seek, and so spend my days looking “out there” and searching “out there” in pursuit of desires that are not here and that I must search and pursue  for/towards, where in this I completely ignore Myself here in and as the moment as breath in and as every moment, as I have defined myself here as the moment already as “lacking” which is why I am searching “for more” searching for “something better” making the statement that I am not good enough for me and that I must have something else, something that is not me something that is better than me, more than me to generate/bring happiness to me.

I commit myself to bringing myself back Here and keeping it simple within and as simply focusing on what I can do practically physically in the moment as the “task at hand” to assist and support me to stop “looking for myself” and start applying myself, even if it is in something seemingly insignificant and to assist and support myself to become effective at constant and consistent practical physical movement/application/hereness and direction of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “pass” on myself as the Key and Solution to Me. Not even realizing the implications as the statement I am making as the definition of myself that I have placed in “passing” on myself as the solution and key to me, making the statement that Who I am Here is not capable or able to Sustain me or is “enough” and that I need something else, something more than me.

I commit myself to assist and support myself to become/live the solution of myself as the living of myself Here in and as the physical in consistency and constancy in simply directing myself in the moment in the practical tasks at hand and to thus start with the small and what is Directly within my world and to first become effective and proficient within directing what is in my immediate environment / within arms reach / what is here before me, And to remind myself that it is not about doing something “big” perse but working effectively with my immediate physical environment with consistency in

I commit myself to using my physical body as a reference point for where and how to direct myself where I am able to look at what is here physically within my physical “arms reach” that I can in fact touch/see move myself within in my immediate physical environment, instead of always thinking “out there”.

FEATURED EQAFE INTERVIEW

Sunette Spies – Get Real. Stay Real, Be Physical.

Other Desteni Links

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

7 Year Journey To Life Facebook Page

 

Featured Desteni Artwork by: KELLY POSEY

Kelly on Facebook – https://www.facebook.com/KellyPosey

Kelly’s Journey to Life Blog – http://humanitysjourneytolife.blogspot.com/

 

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