The “Secret Admirer” Character – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 92

The Secret Admirer Character.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed within and as the “Secret Admirer” Character where I will accept and allow myself to travel in my thoughts about someone I see where I secretly admirer them within me in my thoughts where this becomes a point where I totally consume myself within secretly admiring beings/a being  within my world.

I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to follow thoughts of “secret admiration” from the perspective of where I will start to imagine/fantasize about beings from the perspective of me admiring them as in wanting to be in a relationship with them.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself to “going into character” as my Secret Admirer Character by/through accepting and allowing myself to leave here and go into my mind in participating within a thought/fantasy about a being, I stop myself from going into /participating with this Secret Admirer Character by through stopping myself from participating in / going into that thought/fantasy/picture. And I Direct myself to remain here in and as breath and the physical and stop accepting and allowing myself to exist as a Character that I see has become an automated response and is thus not me directing myself in and as self awareness as the physical movement of me I make/take through and as deliberate decision but is simply me existing in a programmed way.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand  that I have created and acted out this “Secret Admirer” Character since my childhood and so that now this becomes like a total possession point as one of my Characters which “easily possess” me, and which I accept and allow myself to participate within instead of remaining here as breath, Directing myself within the context of Re-Birthing myself as that which is and lives what is best for all in every moment, where this possession happens with what seems like such ease due to the fact that I have participated in this ”Secret Admirer” Character so much and have thus conditioned and programmed myself to in a way “do this naturally and automatically” as the accepted and allowed behaviours, thoughts, fantasies, pictures, back-chats that comprise the totality of My “Secret Admirer” Character.

I commit myself to stopping the totality of myself as the Secret Admirer Character where I am able to through writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application support me to re-define myself as my moment to moment living where in I Stop Living/Existing in and as Characters and instead Bring myself back here until I am Here in and as the Physical in every moment.

I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself to within writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application deconstruct the totality of my “Secret Admirer” Character and within doing this Assert myself to live exist here in and as the physical in and as practical responsibility of what is best for all.

I commit myself to not more accepting and allowing myself to simply throw down my hands and fall to my knew completely giving myself to and as this Character to possess me and me become this Character as this accepted and allowed participation as myself, but to instead direct and support myself to Stop myself from feeding this character by participating within and as it where I begin the process of stopping “just giving myself over to” this character which I see/realize/understand that i have willingly done up this point.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stop myself from existing within and as my “Secret Admirer” Character, but to give into this Character where I accept and allow myself to activate and step into this character as I have accepted and allowed myself to become used to existing as this character and so have in fact become addicted to living in and as this Secret Admirer Character where I start having thoughts, pictures and backchat within myself about begins within my world which will then influence my behaviour and direction of me within my living.

I commit myself to take the position of actually supporting me to stop the existence of myself as this character instead of having /taking the position of just giving into it every time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create my secret admirer character through having secret thoughts about beings within my reality where I would imagine myself being in a relationship with them, seeing pictures of me with them in the perfect scenario situations that make me as my secret admirer character out to be the winner where “things always work out” in the most perfect way as what I have accepted and allowed myself to create as an idea within myself of what would be the most perfect thing that I could have happen to me.

I see/realize/understand that the reality I created as my secret admirer character was not based on actual real reality that is here as the physical and so I commit myself to stopping participating in realities that are obviously NOT real as this only place me in a delusion state of accepting and believing to be real a reality that is obviously NOT real or practical because how could it be if I am always the winner – And so thus I commit myself to living/existing here in Real reality where I assist and support myself to ground myself in this physical reality through and as breath, and stop programming myself to believe fictitious realities which actually disempower me form ever being able to do what is best for all and understand how to support life as this actual physical reality, because I never get to know how it really works due to accepting and allowing myself to exist within fake realities in my mind as Character-realities.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that when I accept and allow myself to exist as my secret admirer character that I am in fact existing in an alternate fictional reality because when I am existing as my secret admirer character the play-out of events within myself as my fantasies always works out in a way that benefit me where I can in fact manipulate this fictional reality to perfection where the outcome always is the best case scenario for me where in I am able to create multiple scenarios where things work out exactly how I would like and where the outcome has me within an experience that I am satisfied with and thus attempt to make real so that I can experience that satisfaction that I created within me as and within the fantasy play-out where I was able to manipulate all points to my will where the end result always just feed my experience of me in a positive way so that I am worthy and in essence a kind of God and Superior being. All of this existing only within me and not based on actual play-outs in reality but only my fantasy world which I have come to accept as real reality which I then try to impose on real reality disregarding how the real physical reality actually works and just trying to impose a fictitious reality where I am god onto what is really here.

I commit myself to live equal and one with the real reality and take into consideration what is really here as this real reality – And to use the principle of what is best for all to guide me to align myself with the real reality

I commit myself stopping myself from existing within and as Characters which only exist in my mind, so that I am not pre-occupied somewhere in my mind and thus never come to learn/see/realize/understand how this real reality as the ONE reality that is here really work, because instead of my attention being HERE in and as this reality in and as the physical, I am fucked off into some alternate reality in my mind where the rules of real practical reality don’t apply which obviously is a recipe for disaster when I attempt to live out /impose my fictitious mind reality into/onto the ONE reality that I exist within as the physical reality.

I commit myself to learn the rules and relationships of the physical and to direct myself to exist according to / in alignment with / and in support of this so that we can ensure relationships that support the nurturing of life. And I commit myself to initially doing this by “stepping out of character” and out of the “Character-Reality” which does not follow the rules and relationships of the physical, where in I do this by assisting and supporting myself through writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand how extensively this character has possessed me throughout my life and still possess me within my life.

I commit myself to walking the necessary process of deconstructing my secret admirer character as I realize that I have created/constructed/designed this character throughout my entire life and so thus will require a process of disconnecting/deconstructing all the various relationships/ideas/beliefs/behaviours/ acceptances and allowances that make up my Secret Admirer Character

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that my secret admirer character-reality has been formed in relation to a perception of reality that I simply accepted as who I am without question, and thus have never understood how this reality that I accepted and formed my secret admirer character in relation to, actually works, functions, exists as and thus who I am as it, and so I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to become possessed by that which I do not in fact even understand in totality.

I commit myself to through writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application get to know the absolute entirety of my secret admirer character where I leave no stone unturned but come to understand in absolute detail, precision, specificity and exactness every movement/refraction/iota of and as this character in its totality as a step to directing me to in fact become Self Aware, in this case becoming aware of an aspect of myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as/participate in as one of the many Mind Characters I have existed as.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that by accepting and allowing myself to become possessed by and or participate with something that I do not understand how it works, that I am not standing as a gatekeeper of life to ensure that all that I accept and allow as me always support life as Equality and Oneness as What is best for ALL. And also that the Integrity of me as Life must be questioned within the acceptance and allowance of myself as apparently “not understanding what I am doing” where why and how is it possible for me to end up at such a point of apparently not knowing what I am doing. When did I cross the line as Life, from Self Awareness to Life as Not Understanding. Who was I within this transition. What is the real nature of someone/me not understanding something/what I am doing . Is the point of not understanding something created by simply suppressing that which self does not want to see but did in fact in the moment of participation did see exactly what was going on, but buried it in self turning a blind eye and holding that eye blind until the point was covered by the events and situations and more events and situations that accumulated/layered through time, and now one/self/I  “am not able to see or understand” who I am and how I function.

I commit myself to finding all the unanswered questions that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as as the questions that I have left unanswered and/or undirected where I just left the point in a point of non-understanding instead of taking it through to completion so that I understand who I am and how I interact/function within and as myself. Specially also to investigate my secret admirer character and all characters in absolute detail so that I come to complete understanding of every aspect of me as ALL of who I am, and thus in this taking Full Responsibility for myself within seeing/understanding all of me in every moment and so thus being able to direct/Express myself in and as what is best for all.

I commit myself to challenge myself to direct each point within me that I have not directed or left undirected and to no more accept and allow myself to accept that “I don’t know” but to walk through this and walk into knowing as moving and directing me and points within and as me into clarity / certainty and completion, Aligning/Creating myself as Total Self Awareness of myself in every moment that stand Eternal.

 

FEATURED EQAFE INTERVIEW

What is Sex – Introduction

Other Desteni Links

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

7 Year Journey To Life Facebook Page

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