Context: This SF is related to an experience that I have noticed frequently coming up within me while I am at work, which I noticed again as well today. The experience is an experience of getting frustrated with one of my co-workers for him “moving to slow” or not doing things “good enough”. I often feel like my co-worker is slowing me down and the particular experience I was/am looking at here is related to when I feel like he is “getting in my way” and in this I try and “force him to move quicker” So in writing/looking at this point I realized / see this point within myself (specifically in the context of work) where I get possessed by a kind of momentum where I have noticed within my life that this momentum at times “takes me over” and I just allow this and then I get consumed by it and end up allow “it” to move me instead of me moving directing me. In looking at this point I noticed how I actually do this at home as well when I am working on my assignments/writings etc or even just walking through my day where I am more rushing myself through everything accepting and allowing myself to exist within this state of rushing or momentum possession within my day and moment to moment walking, and so within this see the point of how I am the one Creating this Experience and thus am not able to for instance “blame another” like what was occurring at work with my co-worker where my blame took the form of an “irritation towards him – blaming him for being in my way and being to slow” yet when I am at home I actually still direct myself in this very same way of constantly rushing myself and being possessed by this state of rushing where I am being moved by a kind of momentum instead of me directing moving myself here as breath – often encountering others and things that I see as “moving to slow” I See this is also a Fear. A fear that I am not moving fast enough. That I Must Move fast, that there is not enough time – So this is the point I am exploring with today’s sf
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move within a point of rushing, especially when I am at work where instead of slowing myself down and moving within and as breath deliberately, allowing myself to see all the points that are here within the context of the moment, I move myself quickly wanting to get points done as quickly as possible and have limited myself to moving only at certain paces, instead of being here within and as breath in my movements allowing me to move at the pace that is required of the particular moment and thus enabling myself to be more dynamic and diverse and expansive within how I move/direct myself within my daily tasks, particularly at work, according to each particular unique moment and what is the best way to direct myself within that moment.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stop my possession of momentum and to always be the one moving myself so that no matter if I am moving fast or slow, I am moving Here in and as breath and am within this able to change my pace if need be or slow down or speed up or change direction because I do not accept and allowed myself to get to the point of being possessed by momentum/rushing/anxiety where I am overtaken by this experience of momentum/rushing/anxiety that move me through tasks in a certain way where I am unable to slow down or change direction because I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed by momentum/rushing/anxiety instead being here, deliberately moving myself in every step/breath/moment.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize/understand that by accepting and allowing myself to be possessed by momentum/anxiety/rushing that move me through tasks, that this produce the same result everytime where I am left feeling/experiencing myself in even more Anxiety due to having done something ineffectively / unspecific and thus missed a window of opportunity to actually give effective/specific direction to a point within my world where now I have really not done anything at all because I still must actually give effective direction / direction to the point that I had just done due to it not being directed effectively due to me accepting and allowing myself to become possessed by Anxiey and thus taken over/moved by/entered into a form of momentum that takes me over and push me through the task without me being the directive principle in the task placing each points specifically in relationships that is well considered and I am satisfied with how and why I placed each point, instead of being pushed from behind by this momentum where I try and just place each points as best as possible as I zoom by it.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that to accept and allow myself to participate within momentum possession is not best for me because then I simply steam roll ahead where I am not more even looking at each and every point specifically but stuck in my momentum possession that cause me to be impatient with others, and unable to respond to the moment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop the pattern where I become possessed by my “speed mode” where I lock myself into this “mode” or “pace” as a way of moving / directing myself to get points directed as fast as possible where within this I become impatient with others when they “make a mistake” or do not get things absolutely perfect in execution to simply have the point executed without a hitch and on to the next one, not realizing how this “impatience with others” come up as a side affect when I am possessed by Momentum/Anxiety/Rushing instead of being here within and as Breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not notice that I am possessed by momentum even when I am not at work but also when I get home and taking on tasks at home, yet still accept and allow myself to “blame my boss” when I am at work for “causing this experience within my life when I am work” Yet when I am at home I am moving myself in the exact same way, this obviously further indication that I am the Creator of this Experience of myself, not my boss.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that my “momentum”/”rushing”/”anxiety” possession” is “survival mode” where “my pace” is set in relation to “trying to succeed in this world” where it seems like I can’t slow down or set a pace that will actually support me because then I will fall behind and will be moving to slowly.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify existing in Survival Mode as the point that “I must exist in Survival Mode due to the current context of the system as it is “Eat or be Eaten”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see “Y” as obsolete and want him to be out of my world so that I can get on my way of succeeding and walking up the latter of hierarchy within and as the system to get more money and become more effective.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how I am impatient with myself in the walking of my process where no matter what I do, I can’t seem to do things fast enough ,and so am often existing within this point of rushing, where I feel like I can’t move/go fast enough and that I am not effective enough within my process and practical application of my process, where in this is actually being fuelled by a fear of me not being fast /good enough within my application of myself in process.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be impatient with myself in doing tasks, where I am impatient with me and just want to get to the end.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become possessed by my impatience and within this accept and allow myself to be moved and directed by my “impatience to just get it done and over with”
I forgive myself for not realizing how my impatience with others at work is showing me/reflecting back to me my own impatience with myself within doing tasks where I always compromise myself by accepting and allowing this impatience to get the best of me and just move me through tasks without considering or caring if the task is done effectively or not but just getting through it and getting it done, this compromising me because I never actually allow myself to start seeing all the various aspects of myself and my world because “I miss them due to being possessed by impatience and moving myself according to this impatience possession where I am not able to in fact see myself or the points within my world I am working with because I am just to focused and getting to the end of the task as my impatience possession dictate/direct me to do”
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to take my own foot off the acceleration of myself within process from the perspective of effectively assisting and supporting myself to slow myself down within my walking /writing/application of me so that I am not just ripping through points as fast as possible within this idea that “I am falling behind” and “I must catch up” and “the only way to do this is to just power through everything”, never giving myself the opportunity to walk through points more specifically here within and as breath to support me to actually be more effective with the points I am working on, not allowing myself to become possessed with impatience.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become compromised by accepting and allowing “Impatience Possession”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within constant anxiety within myself towards the movement of me within my process, experiencing constant anxiety towards the pace I am moving and “what I am getting done” – This being a clear sign of being possessed by Impatience.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to controlled by “Anxiety” which exist/come up within me that dictate how I direct myself and move myself and what decisions I make, instead of me doing this in and as breath so that I can actually walk through my daily tasks in detail instead of accepting and allowing myself to be pushed through them by my anxiety as Impatience Possession.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have accepted and allowed the anxiety / Impatience within me to direct/move me within my job where I have accepted and allowed this Anxiety /Impatience to be the point on which I base my movements and pace in terms of how I direct myself at work as well as in my moment to moment living.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize the Voice / “Character” within me that drives me to work faster and “move things along” as that voice within me that takes me over when I am doing tasks and pushes me / moves me through the task where in I end up rushing the task to just get through it and never actually walk here in self presence every step of the way, and thus end up missing points, and also that by the time I get to end, am not able to even see what I have just done because was not aware in and as breath as I walked the point but rather just pushed to get through it, where getting it done was the Goal that was motivating me, instead of doing it effectively and specifically being the goal, was/is Impatience Possession where I am in fact Being possessed by my Impatience Character .
I commit myself to stop accepting and allowing myself to participate within and as my Impatience Character as the Character that Possess me almost in every moment I am walking / living on this earth that is constantly moving me through my life instead of me Stopping/putting an end to this Impatience Character that possess me and Re-Directing myself to Stop my impatience within moving through tasks and to deliberately will myself to move Here in and as Breath within the task I am busy with.
I commit myself to giving myself the time I require to complete tasks effectively instead of accepting and allowing my “Impatience Character” to set the time-frame for me to complete a task. A time-frame that is always set within the parameters of “just wanting to get it done and over with”
I commit myself to when ever I am taking on a task to check “if my Impatience Character is here” so to ensure that I am not accepting and allowing myself to be influenced by this/my “Impatience” Character that I have designed/created within me throughout my life, so that I can in fact complete tasks within specificity where the task is in fact completed / directed and not just “done as fast as possible” which even though it is done, it is not actually completed because within accepting and allowing “Impatience Character Possession” too many things were overlooked and is likely he point will have to be re-done and brought through to a completion that actually support me within my re-creation / transformation of myself and development of self awareness.
I commit myself to walking tasks within and as breath and Self Direction where when and as I see my “Impatience Character” coming up as the back-chat of that Character coming up within me, attempting to direct/move me as my “Impatience Character” through the task, I stop the back-chat immediately and do not participate/engage with it, but remain Here within and as the Direction of Completing the task in self specificity where I allow myself and am able to see clearly and specifically align all the points/relationships related to/existent within a particular task, this way assisting and supporting myself to effectively create myself and my world as the tasks I walk into and as Self Clarity as I within walking tasks allow myself to See the Entirety of the task within taking my time with it and thus in seeing the entirety of it develop Self Clarity within myself and my world.
I commit myself to assisting and supporting myself to develop Self Patience by consistently willing myself to Walk Tasks/Individual Task within the Starting Point of Patience, where within deliberately doing this I assist and support myself to Step out of my Impatience Character that I have pattered/programmed to move myself within and as when taking on tasks, and transform myself into Self Patience by Deliberately Directing myself to walk tasks within and as the Starting point of Self Patience where I walk the task breath by breath by breath not accepting and allowing myself to in any moment sabotage / compromise the task/myself by accepting and allowing myself to go into impatience/ participate with my Impatience Character but remain here in every breath directing me to remain here and effectively develop Self Patience within completing/walking tasks, within myself, and within my world.
I see/realize/understand that I have existed extensively as my “Impatience Character” and that I have accepted and allowed myself as this Character to direct/dictate to me how I go about walking through / directing tasks/my daily tasks. Within this I see/realize/understand that this Character has in way become Automated as my default setting approach to taking on tasks and thus to, within my re-programming of me into and as Self Patience, I will have to / will be required to be constant and consistent of my willing / walking of me within Self Patience as a kind of requiring to be constantly and consistently re-willing myself to remain here in and as the Starting point of Self Patience as I walk through my life/tasks as this “Impatience Character” I realize has manifested itself into various aspects of “who I am” and thus will require consistent application and will as the Constant and Consistent Assertion of myself as Self Patience as Breath to Manifest/Transform/Re-Program as Who I am as Self Patience.
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