I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “race” when I get home, like it is a starting line where the “gun goes off” and I must come shooting out of the gate and race and get as much as possible done before my nights over.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spend my days racing through my day so that I can “create” more time for myself in the evening, to when I get to the point of the evening end up again racing through the evening to try and get everything done where my total life becomes a race.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Create a Character that “Rushes Through Things” where in I deliberately accept and allow myself to move fast through things where in I access a certain state of being as I move through things quickly where I, in a way become possessed by this state of moving through things quickly.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated when things do not go the way that I want, because within this I feel I am “losing time” which end up creating/compounding pressure within me as I fall further and further behind in my responsibilities that have accumulated over time through my own procrastination and postponement which now I am attempting to make up for and so walking a very thin line where if one little thing goes wrong, I don’t end up getting what I want to get done, finished, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into Frustration and Irritation when I do not get done that which I want to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience frustration when “I do not get things done” when “things do not go the way I want” because if I do not get things done, then I cannot spend the time I have allocated for “relaxing”, relaxing, and so thus become frustrated and irritated.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to depend on experiencing certain specific energetic experiences each week and each day, and that if something happens that I do not get participate in that which generate and create these such experiences, I go into a point of frustration and Irritation, as I have become dependent on experiencing such energies.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my time as “limited” and so experience myself walking a very thin line, where if even one foot is out of place, everything falls apart and everything is ruined and now I will never get done what I wanted to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give up this evening because things didn’t initially go how I wanted, and thus I fell behind and I simply could not handle this experience and just wanted to give up because “its to much” “I will never be able to catch up” “I can’t do it” “this is hopeless”
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize The Character that is lurking under the surface of “its too much” that becomes so easily triggered where I go into the “experience” as this Character, of “wanting to give up” because everything just seems to overwhelming.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as Hopelessness towards All the things that I must do to just catch up again, feeling that this is hopeless and that it will never happen and so within this “feeling of hopelessness” go into despair and helplessness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the “I don’t have enough time” Character, where I constantly must exist within an experience of rushing due to feeling like I don’t have enough time and am always playing “catch up”
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the “I don’t have enough time” Character that Rush every second of the day within the absolute certainty that “I don’t have enough time” and “I am not getting enough done” and that I must rush to get everything done, to just keep pace, where my entire life becomes an experience of rushing and racing which tends to get exhausting.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the “I don’t have enough time” Character which is always looking at the clock and planning exactly what I will do and when and how and how much time it should take, laying everything out, meanwhile existing in a constant state of anxiety because there never seem to be enough time in a day.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get angry with myself for not using my time more effectively, and also to when something does not go the way I had planned become angry because now “I won’t get what I had planned to get done, finished” where in I will get angry because “I only have so much time during the day” to get everything done, and thus I forgive myself for not realizing that this is a Character as the “I only have so much time during the day” Character, where I am not existing Here as breath directing myself breath by breath, step by step, but still accepting and allowing myself to access Characters within and as My mind.
I commit myself to through writing, self forgiveness and self corrective actions assist and support myself to become more effective at time and task management through by stopping my existence within and as Characters that spend more time worrying and in anxiety instead of being Here as breath Walking Myself within and as My Physical Environment/World in every moment to where within this I effectively assist and support myself to walk through tasks that I have planned for me where in I simply walk here in breath and do not get caught up and bogged down by thoughts/feelings/emotions/reactive states that exist within and as Characters that I have accepted and allowed myself to activate and upload into and as me for me to in moments become a Character that live for me instead of me simply remaining here within and as breath and directing myself literally moment by moment within practical Self Direction.
I commit myself to stop my “insistence that I am not able to walk here as breath” which I see/realize is a statement that I allow as myself when I am thinking about the future and what needs to be done, instead of Sticking absolutely to Here, breath by breath, and Directing Immediately In Breath the task at hand and then moving onto the next task which in essence is nothing more than moving onto the next breath the same as the last and to thus move seamlessly, flowing breath by breath breath Here as Self Stability, where I do not require to rush but am here aware of my breath and human physical body as I Direct Myself Practically within my world.
I commit myself to identifying ALL the various Characters as Me that are Activated in moments between tasks where I am moving from one task to the next, where in I stop being here and Directive as Me because “I am done my task” and can now thus “allow the mind as some Character to step in” before I must again prepare myself for the next task, where when I begin my next task, must again stop my Characters and Assert myself to take on the next task where in what I am doing is essentially Character Changing according to what specific task I am doing, and particularly becoming possessed by Characters inbetween tasks when I “let my gaurd down” for a moment, instead of realizing that there should be not change in me depending on what task I am doing, or if I am in between tasks but that I should be consistently Here in and as Breath, Moving and Directing Myself as Breath, in Full Self Awareness where I am not “off somewhere in thinking/my mind/thoughts/internal conversations/back-chat but that I am here assisting and supporting myself to stop my thoughts and exist one and equal to Here as the physical.
I commit myself to through writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application, assist and support myself to seeing and thus stopping “thoughts as gateways to characters” where in I will access a thought and then participate in that thought where in doing so I will become a specific Character instead of remaining here, self directed in my physical practical reality where I am aware of my breath and walking in and as and with my breath , step by step, breath by breath and stopping the uploading Pre-Programmed Characters into and as me through by participating in thoughts/back-chat/pictures/internal conversations.
I commit myself to stop consulting with my Characters to assess “what a task will be like” and “if I want or not want to do that task” or “if I will enjoy a task or not” and instead remaining here in and as breath and stopping the “assessing of tasks” within and through Characters that always have Self Interested Preferences to support itself and only itself with not regard for actual life, and so thus assisting and supporting myself to become more effective and Stable and Consistent in My Practical Self Direction and task completion within my world.
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