I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed my mind to die from the perspective of allowing the energy run out and to within this find myself as that point when there is no energy left as the decision I make to stop existing as energy as the mind but to stop participating in energy and simply let the well run dry instead of frantically attempting to keep the well of energy full and charged.
I forgive myself for not realizing that regardless of the energy experience I am having either being high or low, I as the physical, as my physical body as Life is still here the same and thus when I run out of energy and my experience drops, my physical as my human physical body is still here, my blood still flows and my heart still pumps, and thus I forgive myself for not realizing that my body is actually quite stable and consistent as I am moving drastically and radically within and as energy fluctuations. And so within this I forgive myself for not realizing that my body does not require energy to express but is here expressing in stability regardless of the energetic energy fluctuations I am participating within, within myself, and thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stop existing in such energy fluctuations and aligning myself with the physical as my physical body, realizing that I do not need energy to exist. as is prooven by the body as even when my energy level drop, my heart still pumps and my blood still flows all the same, my eye sight remain stable, my hair still grow, I am still able to breath in and out normally, I am still able to walk normally, where my body is expressing itself within a point of stability and consistentcy at all times, and is not connected to or dependant on me feeling happy or feeling depressed or experiencing/existing within my energetic fluctuations of / as self as the determinant of my physical body expression.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give into the mind from the perspective of going into a feeling of depression and wanting to give-up instead of realizing that my life will only begin when I walk consistently within stopping myself as the mind as that which has taken over me and directed me within my world where I have been unable to direct myself within Self Decisions as I always end up allowing myself to be deliberately taken over by the mind within and through accepting and allowing myself to give energy as the mind more value than living life in an actual substantial way to in fact support beings in this world.
I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to become impatient with myself within my process of stopping the mind where I just see so little progress within my process and thus become frustrated and irritated and angry, and within this I forgive myself for not seeing/realizing that this will continue until I am actually walking a disciplined walk that I will bring forth effective change and effective progress as self change/transformation where in I am in fact stopping my existence as the mind as energy and moving into a more directive walking as myself within and as the physical.
I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to develop myself as that which is in fact Real Life and that will stand the test of time to within this become a point that is the manifestation of Real Value within this world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow my desires to rule me instead of making directive conclusive decisions to stop the point of accepting and allowing back-doors within my walking and standing for desire to enter and make itself seen once again.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pattern myself within allowing a back-door for desire every couple weeks where I unlock this door instead of remaining steadfast in my standing and repatterning myself to no more accept and allow this pattern of falling within and as my application so that I can once and for all exist within an application of effective standing and self direction within developing myself within and as actual Substantial Life Support.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not realizing that I am always the one that sabotage me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I have fucked up to much already and that no self correction is possible, and so hold this idea within me when I am setting out my self corrective process for myself which ultimately cause my falling as the belief of my own fuckupness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not even ever want to take a stand on anything as I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this then will be the starting point of my inevitable fall, and so just wait within the belief that “whats the point” I will fall anyways. And so exist in a form of purgatory and indecisiveness.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continuously fall in my process and not in those such moments direct myself to “get on with it” instead of taking myself back to the starting line by allowing myself to give in to the mind/energy instead of Directing Myself to Push/Direct me through such moments by breathing, and sticking to the physical andessentially allowing my energy well to just run dry instead of giving into the mind and participating with some point that will charge up my mind energy so that I can exist at my “normal” mind energy state, where I become a constant slave to constantly needing to continue feeding myself with mind energy to attempt to remain at my desired state of mind energy and thus within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with abusive patterns of/as self that is used to generate such energy instead of taking a stand and letting the energy run out so to within this be able to direct myself in Self Direction where I apply myself in that which will in fact Support me in my Self Development to Exist within and as an Actual Substantial Human being that is able to really offer something as who I am, where such direction within this form of Real Self Development is not based on Energy and so thus will not be that which will generate energy for my mind to exist at its “desired stated of energy” and so thus I will experience resistance as I direct myself using practical common sense instead of “feeling or emotion” as that which is the Minds Guide to direct/influence me into applications that are there to only generate energy for me as the mind/ego.
I commit myself to align my writings, self forgiveness, and self corrective application to support me to become real within directing myself as and existing as/within applications/tasks that support me to become that of actual value to myself/life/and others and to within this stop accepting and allowing myself to sabotage this walking of myself through by accepting and allowing desire to come in and influence to place my attention and give myself as my direction and participation to that which in the long run offers nothing sustainable or substantial but is the image and likeness of consumerism, surface, and instant gratifications, points that I have become which I am now aligning myself to stop as me as my living expression to thus become real and substantial and stable as Life as actual support to myself, others and life and what is here.
An Artists Journey To Life 