Its My Right to Play All Day – Childhood Manipulation Tactics: An Artists Journey to Life: Day 61

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing the experience of negativity at work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept my experience as “negativity” as “negative energy” at work without investigating ALL the aspects / dimensions of what create this experience of myself that I have accepted and allowed as negativity.

Ok I am going to begin with taking this point of my experience of negativity at work back to childhood looking at where this experience/point came from with regards to how I designed myself in and as the experience of negativity at work.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to as a child believe that I have right to play and do what I want, while the adults must do that which I do not want to do, which I have defined within the context of “responsibility of the adult”

I forgive myself that accepted and allowed myself to, as a child, hide behind my accepted and allowed definition of responsibility which placed the responsibility of the child in the hands of the Adult, so that I as the child could just continue to play and do what I wanted or “feel” like instead of taking responsibility for that which I could in fact see I was responsible for, like for instance cleaning up after myself and helping out with chores, from the perspective of myself as a being, as life doing what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to abuse the principle of what is best for all while I was child by making the parent take responsibility for me because this seemed to be the accepted norm in this world and well “why not” because then this meant I could just do what I want and keep playing, even when seeing that I was capable to give direction to points within my world which I did not but just handed off responsibility to the parent where I in fact did this in manipulation to make the parent believe that they were responsible for points that I could see within me that I was responsible for within the context of equality and simply helping out and doing my equal share within the parameters of what I was capable of doing.

I forgive myself that I as a child I did not direct myself to develop myself as Real Integrity as a point of life that always looks out for and has the best interest of life at heart, but that rather I took the path of focusing on only myself and my own self interest and abandoning Life Integrity as walking what is common sensically best for all in

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to manipulate my parents to take responsibility for certain aspects of my life so that I could just keep playing and in this pursuing my positive energy experience of me.

I forgive myself that I did not accept and allow myself to live what is best for all as a child and to within living/walking this principle as myself throughout my life, design me in the image and likeness of equality and thus have a world emerge that reflect my Self Honesty Expression of Myself as Life as Oneness and Equality and what is best for all, but instead elected to just try and get away with as much as possible as a point of self interest and thus design myself within a point of always looking for what I can get instead of what I can give as my natural expression.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to begin the process of lying and manipulation early to then design myself to accept me to become this pattern of lying and manipulation which now end up sabotaging me within myself and my life due to becoming so used to lying and manipulating that my resolve to be self honest and do what is best for all is lacking.

I forgive myself that I did not accept and allow myself to live Absolute Self Responsibility in ALL contexts in all moments in all scenarios since birth, and thus have not understood what it means to live absolute Self Responsibility as Integrity as Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to live Self Responsibility as What is Best for ALL as Life in all moments and all contexts and all situations because this means that I will  have to give up my life, and thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I do not in fact care about life in the least as I see that if I were to in fact Live Self Responsibility as Doing what is best for all in all moments, all contexts, all situations, and that each one here on earth were to do this, that this would end poverty, end war, end abuse, end violence and create a world that is best for all.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live Self Responsibility as what is best for all in all moments, all contexts, all situations because this does not bring instant gratification which I am have become addicted to and want only to direct myself according to.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I do not like doing something then I am able to complain about it from the perspective of me actually having the right not to complain – even if the point is in fact a supportive point within the context of what is best for all, but I just don’t feel like doing it because I don’t get instant gratification from it.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to dis-empower myself when I was child by defining me as having the “Right” to not do what I did not want to do, and I forgive myself that I didn’t accept and allow myself to develop self strength and empower myself by developing the ability to Direct myself within the context of what is best for all at all times.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fuck up my ability to see/assess and direct me within the context of what is best for all and thus what is best for me, by accepting and allowing myself to as a child, fight for my right to not participate within contributing as an equal in that which was required to be done to support the group.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to design my manipulation tactics, excuse, justifications within my family structure where I never took into consideration what was best for the group but only just looked out for my own self interest.

I forgive myself that I did not accept and allow myself place myself in the shoes of each one around me and ask myself what I would I like to have done unto me, and thus direct myself as Support within the context of what is/was best for all within a point of equality and equal development and support of the group at all times.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I had a right to “not do what I did not want to do” not realizing that I am in such moments of manipulating others such as my parents to within making them believe and thus taking responsibility for that which I seen/realized I was actually responsible for and able to direct, but did not want to do, bending the will of others/adults/my parents as a point of in fact extracting their life as there time and energy to add more to mine where they end up for instance cleaning my mess while I continue to play and accumulate my positive energy experience while making them compromise there own expression to support my expression and thus taking from others to add more to me, instead of living by the principle of giving what I would like to receive.

I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to participate within the idea that “I have the right” to not do that which “I don’t want to” but instead look at the point and assess using common sense what is best for all and to thus direct myself to take responsibility for that which I practically am able to direct/take responsibility for, and to no more accept and allow myself to hide from my responsibilities as that which I see I am able to direct/ take responsibility for.

I commit myself to take responsibility for that which I able to within my world where I move myself into this application of going deep into my immediate world in by digging my hands in and directing that which I am in fact able to direct that is within my  grasp and capabilities to do so and no more accept and allow myself to neglect that which is within arms reach and my awareness to direct.

I commit myself to push direct myself to take responsibility within the principle of what is best for all that which is within my awareness and understanding to direct.

I commit myself to stop my design of myself that I created and designed as a child to where I deliberately pretended not to see those aspects elements of my world that I was/am self responsible for and to within this develop my ability to actually become directive within my world, pushing myself to make sure I am not more accepting and allowing myself to deliberately ignore the points in my world which I have in fact seen and become aware of that require direction but that I avert my eyes pretending I did not see anything when in fact I know within me already that I did/do see the point and by this very acknowledgement it is thus within my awareness and thus responsibility where I am able to assist and support.

 

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

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