Negative Experience “At Work” – Positive Experience “At Home” : An Artists Journey to Life: Day 60

The point I am going to look at/open up here is with regards to my experience of myself at work. I see that this experience of myself “At Work” is actually in relation to the experience of me when “I am not at work” and so is in essence simply the experience of me in my day to day life.

What I find is that I am daily fighting the point of going to work and being at work, where the experience of myself within being at work is a kind of cringing the entire time I am there. It is a form of “enduring” the point and that I have rarely/not yet found that “stability” point of being at work from the perspective of not going into the polarity that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate within as positive and negative energy where I define “being at work” as “negative” and “not being at work” as “positive”.

I see that even when I was young I experienced this same point where I was a kid and cringed inside myself when hearing for instance my father calling my name because I did not want to be “put to work” but just wanted to continue existing in doing what I wanted to do which was not to go and work, and that also was simply not actually “Practical|” from the perspective of doing my equal share and realizing my responsibility/realization of myself as Life to do what is best for all.

Sure that have been moments in my life where I have “enjoyed” myself while being at a job – but at this stage this is still a point in my life that I find I must “Endure” and if you look at the majority of the population this is what “Work” has become in this world.  An obligation.  A point that must be endured in order to get Money.

It is strange that we as humanity has not yet had enough of our experience within the point of “working our jobs” to drastically question the entire nature of the world we have created for ourselves where all that I am sure the majority of people are thinking about when at work is “when can I get off work and do what I want” where we are constantly in our heads or somewhere else, wanting to escape the jobs we have – That is why Vacations exist. Vacations are a form of Escape. To Escape our daily lives, our obligations, our responsibilities our Jobs!

I am working on the point of Equalizing myself within my living where my Life becomes that of Living in every breath instead of work, play, work, play, work, play where I have defined one is positive and one is negative. To me this is ludicrous that we would accept aspects of our world to be such that we want to escape from them, avoid them, hide from them, and thus within this never actually being Free, as there would be points within our existence that “we cannot go” because apparently we do not like it there. And this point. Thus we have really fucked up our living expression.

So here I am going to apply self forgiveness on this point of my current living experience in relation to being at work (negative) and not being at work.(positive)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my world through the mind in and as positive and negative energy value where I am constantly trying to get that which I have defined as positive and escape / get rid of that which I have defined as negative, “working a job” as being one of those negative points.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to endure the existence of myself as foundationally positive energy experience while not at work, and foundationally negative energy experience while being at work, instead of investigating how I have come to define my reality in this way where I define “being at my job” as negative and “having free time away from my job” as being positive.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there is nothing that can be done about the experience of myself while at work and so just accept this negative energy experience as who I am at work and that that cannot be changed/corrected.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resent being at work because I believe that if I was not at work, there is so much more and better more supportive things I could be doing.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to fully dedicate myself to bringing forth a new system of equality as an equal money system where our current structure of employment is able to change into that which is more supportive to self expression and self development instead of what it is now where the primary starting point of jobs/employment today is “Money” and how to “Make Profit” which creates working conditions  that is abuse towards life as the individual has no value and is thus mis-placed by the value of money which is the primary focal point in the formation and creation of all jobs on the planet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a system that treat money as god and the human as slave to money where the individuals support requirements are not important where the important part is “how to make as much money as possible”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the money system as the reason why I do not or am not able to enjoy my job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “it is the conditions” of my job that make it un-enjoyable- conditions that have been set in relation to the current money system, which I have accepted and allowed myself to define as the reason why I do not “enjoy” myself within my job or experience my job within the negative side of the polarity of positive negative energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a category within my life that is “work” and that everything that is within this category is negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create myself and my world in and as polarity where work is negative and play is positive, and thus to exist within this context my entire life where I am constantly trying to avoid doing work as I have accepted and allowed myself to define this a negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within and as positive and negative energy where everything in my world falls into either one of these categories and thus sets up the parameters for the experience of myself at the moment in relation to “working my job” where I have accepted and allowed myself to define working as negative and thus experience myself within a “negative energy experience” while I am at work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the game of chasing positive energy where in this I have agreed to the point of also having negative experience exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define everything within myself and my world no matter how big or small in relation to positive and negative energy where I am constantly engaged in this pursuit of happiness which is the pursuit of positive energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger within myself because I feel so ineffective at living here as breath where I am not constantly fluctuation within and as positive and negative energy fluctuations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience negativity while being at work because I have defined the point of “working by the hour” as a negative point.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to define the wage I get paid within and as a negative point, and to thus, have this influence my experience of me.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to only accept “energy” as all there is as life as how to live and be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define being at work as negative because I feel/experience this point of being as work to be a kind of enslavement where I am “forced” to work for money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am “forced” to go to work, and in this word “forced” separate myself from my responsibility to direct myself within this point and take responsibility for what is here as the system we have created, where within how I have used this word “forced” within the context of being “forced” to be at work, I have accepted and allowed myself place this point as if there is some “separate” point or entity that is controlling and directing me as its slave and that I am “powerless” to do anything about it which is a form of limitation of Self and acceptance of myself as Less than who I am as able to stand Self Responsible for what is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that someone is forcing me to work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate my experience of myself at work as negative energy by continuing to perpetuate/participate with this point/concept that I am “Forced” to work or that someone else is “Forcing” me to work, instead of realizing that I am working as a point to take responsibility for what is here on this earth from the perspective of standing equal to the System within its current context, realizing that I Have participated in the very creation of this system through my Acceptances and Allowances and thus now must take responsibility for My/Our Creation.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerless at work from the perspective of “not having any say” on the functioning and movements of myself or the parameters of the job, and thus within this, go into resistance to actually working in such conditions.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to blame my boss for the conditions I must work under, and not consider how this point that I now find myself in has come to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if the roles were reversed that I would do things differently, not considering that the point I Now find myself in is based on My/Lifes acceptances and allowances throughout time where this is now the consequence of not standing up and taking responsibility for what is here, which I now must walk as it has been developed and established through time brick by brick and will not just change over night,

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that the changing of ourselves and what is here as the system/world that we have created is a direct reflection of ourselves and is thus also within our hands to direct/correct which will be/ is based equal and one on our directive movement as/of ourselves within and as Self Change in actual fact, and thus I am able to Will this process to unfold faster or slower or not at all, and thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to use this realization as motivation for me to Direct myself specifically in ways to bring forth supportive change within myself and what is here as the system, where this can be used as effective motivation to really develop specificity in my writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application for me to actually change me within and thus have this change reflected in the outer as the system equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as a “boss” within myself from the perspective of how I utilize “My Fortunate Positioning” to generate/extract Energy for myself at the expense of others in positions that I am able to utilize through taking advantage of.

I commit myself to investigate Who I Am in relation to work and explore the dimensions of this and how I have placed myself within my current position within this world and what it takes to have placed myself in this particular position and what I would have had to accept and allow and participate in as myself throughout time to now be in the position I am in this world.

I commit myself to working towards a system where ALL beings are supported equally.

I commit myself to directing myself in my daily life as my purpose of who I am on Earth to bringing forth a System of Equality so that ALL beings are supported equally as Life, as I realize that anything less than this dedication and direct living application of myself daily is indicating that I am accepting myself as less than who I am as life as the ability to love and care for myself as life to the utmost degree.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that if I do not do everything in my power to create a system of equality than I am making the statement that I do not care as who I am as Life, that I am making the statement that who I am as Life is UnCaring, and thus I commit myself to Live Caring, to bring forth Caring on Earth by pushing/willing myself to do everything within my power to bring forth a System that Care within supporting ALL beings/Life Equally as An Equal Money System.

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

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