Pulled By Projection: An Artists Journey to Life: Day 59

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to give up

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to have judged myself for giving up

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist within giving up from the perspective that once I give up there is “nothing I can do”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want to change things and change the past so that things are different and things are better, and thus within this point of wanting to change the past, go into a point of attempting to compensate for having given up / fallen on a point, instead of allowing myself to start again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to start over because then this means that I will have to give up that which I walked already.

I forgive myself for not realizing that that which is real as myself Is here as me and I am not able to give-up so to speak, and thus if I fear starting over again this is because I have some idea about myself and what I have accomplished.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight with the point of starting over from the perspective not wanting to do it, not wanting to start over because it was so hard to get to where I am now, and within this I forgive myself for not realizing that if I am not willing to walk the same point again, and thus resist this and wanting it to be done, that this is indicating still a point of addiction/wanting a particular point that has power over me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my projection of me as who I desire to be have power over me and thus pull me along instead of me walking with and as myself here in every breath.

I forgive myself for not realizing that I was projecting an idea about myself as some future point of who I would be in the future, and then actually giving this projection power which ended up influencing me as I was then moved and compelled to get somewhere and be something that was influencing my moment to moment application of me and is thus now here revealing within this point of “not wanting to start over”.

I forgive myself for not wanting to start over out of fear of giving up all that I have accomplished, not realizing that that which is actually really me, will stick and thus if I am able to give something up then it was not me anyways.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear starting over because I fear that I was/am/might be close to some breakthrough or something which I then compromise by “starting over”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must “go somewhere” or “get somewhere” in process instead of allowing myself to actually Stop, and be here with and as myself in the physical and walking breath by breath step by step, where I use such moments to stand in Self Honesty and accumulate Self Integrity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attempt to utilize my Past to determine my Self Honesty and Self Integrity, not realizing that I cannot depend or rely on my past what so ever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize my past to determine who I am and then ended up becoming fixated on this past and forgetting to be here with and as myself in breath directing and accumulating my moments Here within a  point of self integrity and consistent standing.

I commit myself to let go of my past and bring myself back Here to breath and again walk here as breath accumulating myself as breaths and moments as Self Integrity / Self Honesty and thus not allowing myself to sabotage myself by focusing and fixating on all my mistakes and missed breaths, but to rather bring myself back here and start again walking in and as breath as the most effective way to support myself within stopping my mind.

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