Desire For Sex Fuelling My Drive For Money – An Artists Journey to Life: Day 54

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself believe the best way to make my life better is through becoming effective at making money, so that/then I am continuously pre-occupying myself with how to make money so that I can free myself from my current life; Thus believing money is the way I make my life better or more enjoyable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I become an effective business man and become successful at making money then this will make me happy, and so within this belief and using this belief as my starting point to my living, live/exist in a constant state of pre-occupying myself / my mind with making money because I believe that money is the KEY to making my life work, If I could just get money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that dedicating myself to making in the system is what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that not having money is what is holding me back in my life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define myself and my worth based on how much money I have and believe that if I had more/allot of money that then I would be allot happier, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect myself and my state of being to money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe I require a specific life style to make me happy. A life style bought/purchased/facilitated by money, actually believing that this will make me happy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the main problem in my life is money, not realizing how brutal and judgemental I am towards others, which apparently is not so important in developing actual self integrity , respect and enjoyment of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to completely ignore making any art, disregarding this completely so that I focus on learning how to make money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself, believing it is not good that I think so much about making money, and within this judging myself as an unworthy self interested human being.

I forgive myself for not realizing or seeing the connection between my drive to make money and my desire for sex or the perfect girlfriend which I believed I can get through getting money, and then buying a lifestyle that would attract the “Perfect Girlfriend” which I not only have sought after as a picture/image in my mind that I have accepted and allowed to program into myself from a young age, but also to have believed within me as part of my programming that this would make me happy and be the key to my self worth, satisfaction and thus happiness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make “generating money” my sole(soul) purpose which I have believed will get me what I want.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pursue fulfilment through by making money, and thus have connected my fulfilment of me to money, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect Self Fulfilment with/to money.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to investigate and expose to myself my drive for money through writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see the point within me of experiencing an energetic rise within myself at/to/towards this point of exposing/investigating my drive to make money, because of the point of this maybe, possibly leading to me freeing myself from my apparent programming that I have believed is the reason for my not being successful in money, and thus to support me in making money, where within this all this I am actually again showing the degree of the possession money has over me and the nature of my drive to make money, where in I will automatically turn everything I do, even something that is supposed to support me in releasing the hold I have accepted and allowed money to have over me, into a just another way to fuel this drive within me and my pursuit to just get money.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to keep myself motivated and focused on creating / pursuing “the perfect life” brought to you by money, which is fundamentally based on relationship/sex with the perfect partner, through by listening to music / popular music / my favourite songs that come on the radio so as to keep that energy within me which I am using as a guide for me to follow/continue pursuing “the perfect life” which is fundamentally based on sex with my perceived “perfect partner”, all fuelled up and charged and fine tuned, where the radio becomes a tool I use to keep this “feeling within me alive to motivate me to keep pursuing money so I can buy the perfect life including the ultimate point which is sex with the perfect partner.

I forgive myself that I Have not accepted and allowed myself to see how I sequentially programmed myself to want and desire what I Have defined as “The Perfect Women” since childhood.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to exist as an absolute slave to sex/relationship where this become the fundamental point driving and influencing all of my decisions until I eventually no more have any directive will of my own as I end up and have ended up giving my total directive principle of myself to the pursuit of sex/relationship, which end up translating to the pursuit of money with which I can buy/attract/attain sex/relationship as I desire it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base all of my decisions / my total decision making process on sex and relationship.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize and become aware of how my desire for sex and relationship has taken over my directive will and has take over my physical body where not my movements of my physical body are based on this point of desire for sex and relationship where the way I move my physical body, to the where I look to how I dress to how I design my day to day activities is all arranged around/ in consideration to how to fulfil and pursue this desire for sex and relationship

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to investigate this point within me in common sense that should already have alarm bells going off within the process of giving my directive principle of myself over to a desire, in essence implying that the totality of myself is now less than – as it is being controlled by – this one single desire of sex/relationship with the perfect picture presentation of a female that I have created/designed as “my preference” through my life and have held within me as “that which I want and desire” as that which I believe will fulfil me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself realize that I don’t understand my desires / the nature of what a desire is and how I in fact created them within myself through my life, which is indicating I do not yet know myself or am aware of me as I have not yet understood/see this point/ realized where my desires come from and how I have created these/them / accepted and allowed them within me in absolute detail where not one hair is left uncounted but that I see exactly, in detail from the very moment of conception to now how I have created desires within me.

I commit myself to see/realize/understand that to give my directive principle away to anything is ludicrous.

I commit myself through writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application stop the point of giving my directive principle away to the point of sex/relationship.

I commit myself to utilizing music to identify the patterns that I have created within myself with regards to how I have accepted and allowed myself to program into me my desire for sex and relationship instead of just using music to generate a feeling within me that I realize is actually only fuelling my desires and my mind.

I commit myself to push the point of daily writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application so that I can develop a habit of self support so that I can learn to effectively support myself to stop my patterns of separation and self abuse and to be actually able to see myself as being able to support myself.

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

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