My Position Within Society: An Artists Journey to Life: day 53

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bog myself down through by accepting and allowing myself to participate within my mind within back-chat in regards to my job and my position in society.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel trapped within my current position in society with no way out.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the one who keeps telling me I am trapped within society and my current position is Me, and so thus, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to argue for my limitations within/through my back-chat that I have designed as me as the mind that come up and tell me over and over that I am stuck in society and will never get out of my position and that it is hopeless.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to grow impatient in my current position where in thoughts of “I will be stuck in this position forever” or “I will never be able to get out of this position” or “How long is it going to take me to actually walk/direct myself into a financially stable position within the system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to grow frustrated when I see everyone around me with good jobs and making lots of money, and me still having to work to just make enough to get by each month, where within this I grow frustrated and impatient and lose hope/faith in me and and walking, constantly existing in the uncertainty of “If I am walking the correct path” or not, and “how do I know for sure that this will all pan out”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I will never be able to actually do anything other than what I was programmed to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with back-chat in relation to my job. Back-Chat that I have created within and as myself as Self Talk that comes up in relation to my job, and that has always come up in relation to working and my job in terms of how I define me and believe myself to be within the context of working/job in the system and making money, where within participating in this back-chat always just repeat the same points over and over as the back-chat act as a foundation for always living/acting out the same things where my back-chat become a guide that I follow and that tell me what to do and what the future looks like and who I am, instead of me establishing this for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that manual/physical labour is the most practical way for me to get myself established in the system, but yet even within this I doubt myself and my direction.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be angry with myself for participating with thoughts and ideas about the service industry and my potential future within this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel frustrate and stuck within this point of really wanting and urning for “something” to happen but at the same time becoming impatient and just want everything to already be here and me in a position within the system where I can actually start to accumulate money and stability in the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “the system takes forever” in terms of for instance setting up a business, not considering how this point of it “taking for ever” is not the system per-se but Me in terms of how I have applied myself in my process and made effective decisions for and as myself to take responsibility for myself within the system and thus to apply myself practically within this endeavour.

I forgive myself for not realizing that the desire and want I have to just have everything already working and here is based on my pre-programmed self within and as consumerism where me as the consumer just expect things to be here immediately and happen automatically where in I then end up believing that if I do not see instant consumerist results that this means that there is something wrong with my direction / application or plan.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize that until a apply my plan and my practical ideas that nothing will move as movement only take place within and as the physical.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see my Skill-Set as my downfall and each time I look at what skills I possess, go into doubt and a feeling of despair at apparently not have the right skills or skill set to find an effective job or establish myself within the system effectively.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that there is nothing I can do about my current skill-set and that i Have accepted and allowed myself to judge/define my current skill-set as limited.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my current skill set as a limitation.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I do not have the right skills or abilities to stand equal to system and to master the system.

I commit myself to develop effective practical application abilities so that I can actually get my reality moving through practical physical direction and thus I commit myself to investigate the most effective ways to in fact move/direct myself and my reality so as to effectively establish myself in the system.

I commit myself to stopping the “losing hope” back-chat and rather just push myself to apply myself within some of the points I am considering instead of giving my attention to the “losing hope” back-chat which disempower me and I then justify myself doing nothing, and never actually starting with the first basic points of practically applying myself within the points/ideas that come up within me with regards to how to direct myself within my reality to practically establish myself in the system

I commit myself to through writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application stop my relationship with my self sabotaging back-chat that I have always accepted and allowed to exist as me within me as the voices and concerns and judgements and perceptions within me that tell me how stuck I am and how I will fail.

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