Self Distracted VS Self Directed – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 50

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate on doing my DIP assignments instead of integrating doing them into my routine through by simply directing myself to do them and stop wanting everything to be perfect before I direct myself to apply myself within this task.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify putting off my DIP assignments, beliving that “it is to much” that I won’t be able to integrate my DIP assignments into my daily schedule and that I have made this conclusion without actually doing this for myself but just having this a belief based on how it worked in the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as only being able to do so much writing and reading in one day and then I must stop because I have accepted and allowed myself to place limitations on my ability/capacity within reading and writing and really just Directing and Applying myself Here in and as breath within my day where I have accepted and allowed within myself that I am only able to apply myself in breath so long then “I have had enough” and I am “to exhausted” and “burnt out” to apply myself any more, and thus…

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place a cap/ceiling on my capacity to apply myself within my day, meanwhile not even really believing this but more just “going with it” because it is “convenient”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself by not directing myself to my fullest potential each and every day but more just setting certain boundaries on my application that are based on my accepted and allowed concept of “something being to hard or difficult” which I am holding onto.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define applying myself practically in breath as “work”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define applying myself practically in breath as “hard work”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define anything within which I experience resistance in relation to, as “work” and thus “hard or difficult” as this is the nature of “work” as I have accepted and allowed myself to define this within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to approach daily tasks or other tasks that I take on from the perspective of the mind where in first start out by looking at how long the project/task will take and within this start to go into resistance towards the point instead of taking everything I do one step at a time, brick by brick and approaching it from this standpoint.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to push back and push back projects that require direction using the statement “I will do it tomorrow” as if I actually believe such a statement not allowing myself to see/realize/understand that more often than not this statement of “I will do it tomorrow is a justification to simply postpone something instead of giving it direction with the time I have available to direct the point, and thus within this also I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then support and reinforce my own excuse as “I will do it tomorrow” by then postponing the task/project and doing something else to then at the end of the night “self talk” myself into believing that I was right/correct, and that I did not have enough time to complete the project, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rather do what I always do which is to postpone things and then to support my validation in by telling myself I am doing the right thing without ever changing my behaviour patterning within directing myself within my daily tasks to rather take point to direct myself in that which I would have before most certainly justified “putting off until tomorrow”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize my mind to come up with schemes to make it seem like “there is no time” and that “I do not have enough time” and not effectively will myself to direct myself in that which will be best for all.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize/see that a reason why I had not developed myself as the director of me in every moment effectively and consistently is because when I thought or picture cross my mind or a feeling come up within me that I would automatically pay attention to it and have it lead me astray and away from here as myself directing me in self awareness, and so developed the pattern of allowing myself to be distracted by what comes up within my mind instead of sticking to the task at hand that I have laid out for me where in when thoughts or pictures come up I do not participate with them but remain here and breathe through them and continue focused/directed within what task I am walking and in this develop my self discipline to walk as the directive principle of me so that I do not end up following and chasing and going astray in thoughts, feelings emotions, pictures that come up within me/within my mind.

I commit myself to through writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application develop my self will within willing myself to change me as how I have accepted and allowed myself to normally operate and apply myself within my day to day routine where within I let go of what I accepted and allowed myself to exist as in the past as “pushing everything off until tomorrow” and rather start directing myself within a point of principle as self direction to will myself within what ever it takes to implement all of the daily tasks I have laid out that I would like to give attention to but have not yet disciplined myself to do effectively.

I commit myself to stop using energy to determine what I do, and to determine what I am capable of and my capacity to apply myself breath by breath within my day so that I do not accept and allow the point of “running out of energy” at the end of the day.

I commit myself to stop being a slave to my backchat that tells me that “I do not have enough time” or “enough energy” to complete a project/task, and within this I commit myself to walking step by step breath by breath just focusing on placing one foot in front of the other as directing the point that is immediately before me in and as breath and then continuing to do this walking step by step by step instead of accepting and allowing myself to get overwhelmed within taking on projects.

I commit myself to stopping my back-chat that tells me that “its time to take a break” or that searches for something entertaining to do, to distract me or where I distract myself through by participating in such back-chat instead of remaining focused on the task at hand, and thus so doing transform the constitution of me from that which has in the past through my accepting and allowing myself to participate and follow back-chat/thoughts/ the mind program myself as such, to where I now through stopping my being influenced by the mind as back-chat, thoughts, feelings, emotions, pictures in my mind and rather sticking with breath and remaining here in directing myself within a practical task at hand, reprogram myself to become self directive instead of self distracted by the mind, thoughts, pictures, back-chat, feelings, emotions, where I have always followed this instead of following principles that I have placed as me to walk and support me in the direction of me within my reforming of myself and my life so that I become a self directive, effective being within my practical application of doing/walking/living what is best and most effective in supporting / bringing forth a world that is best for all.

For Further Process Support See Video – “Too Much – Overcoming Overwhelmingness” : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjXj2Yfo1gg

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

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