Duplicate Mind Relationships of Everyone in My World – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 48

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to how much money I have and also to define others according to how much money they have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as “different” than/to those that have money or more money than myself or have been classified by myself as fitting into a different income bracket where in I have defined myself as “different” and so thus from a certain perspective “not worthy” as I have defined “worthiness” within the context of money where those with more money have the privilege of “being more than” than those that have less money because this is simply how the world works, even if it is not aligned with equality and what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear what my roommate / roommates think about me in relation to how much money I have, where I fear their idea that they have created/believed about me based on my position within society based on how much money I have which is that value system which the system use to determine the worth and value of individuals based on money and that has been accepted and allowed to be utilized by ourselves as individuals to assess and determine the value of ourselves and others within this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so connected and integrated into the value system of and as money as capitalism, greed, competition, survival, self interest, that It completely take me over where my experience of myself has been and is determined in relation to this value system of money instead of that of equality and oneness where ALL life has equal value.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see/define the value system of money as “big” and “extensive” where within defining it this way, have felt overwhelmed and helpless in relation to actually stopping the existence of such a system of value I have accepted as myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to feel “less than” and “inferior” to the value system of money where in I see myself as so entangled and integrated within it that I am helpless to get out and actually stand as Equality and Oneness where I no more accept and allow this value system of money to determine myself and the experience of me but that I stand within and as the Principle of Oneness and Equality as ALL that is here as the point which I exist as that measure the value of all that is here, where from a certain perspective there is no measurement even required as ALL that is Here as Life as Existence is in fact Equal.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself realize that I cannot force myself to stop how I experience myself in relation to money as how I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as and live out this value system of money as the value system that I have developed myself in relation to and thus become, but that I will have to slowly but surely within consistent application of writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application release myself from this value system of money that has been accepted, and establish myself as a new value system where money is equal to life as equality and oneness where all life is valued equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and define others by how much money they earn/have where I have accepted and allowed myself to define them as superior and more than myself and within that judgement actually create my own self judgement as me being less than them within which I then experience myself as Less than and inferior and here I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for the experience I have of myself as inferior or less than in relation to them, not taking into consideration how I have in fact participated in the creating and establishing of these definitions that I myself have not yet even directed as my own judgements of others and myself and so thus how can I expect or want others to stop participating in such judgements/perceptions/beliefs/ideas when I myself haven’t.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define it as “OK” to judge someone as more than myself based on how much money they have as having more money than me, but that I have defined it as “Not OK” for them to judge me as “Less then” within this same context of me having less money than them or them more than me, and within this all not seeing/realizing that both judgements are exactly the same whether one judge another as more or as less, it is not different, and so thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my own judgement of others judging me within the context of money without thoroughly looking at and investigating how and where within myself I am participating within such judgements towards others and myself and my world, accepting and allowing myself to justify this as ok.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress my experience/reactions I have towards others within myself and not investigate them so to see where they come from, and how I have created such reactions through how I accepted and allowed myself to live/exist as throughout my lifetime.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if someone judges me or I am perceiving them to judge me, that I have the right to then judge them back.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to hang out with my roommates because I perceive them to be judging me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to hang out with my roommates due to my own judgements and perceptions I have of them in who I believe/think they are and within judging this belief I have of who I think they are, decide to not hang out or interact with them because I believe that I will not enjoy it, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wholeheartedly trust my perceptions I have of people, even within becoming aware of how I have not really in my life walked the point of developing intimate relationships with other beings due to my “preference”  of me just rather wanting to be alone, and so in this being alone, I see the point of me, rather than getting to know beings through real interaction and communication, have instead just went off an idea that I have created about them through observing them through a distance, and thus,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make judgements of/about people from standing at a distance and never bother to cross-reference these judgements as observations by through actually interacting and communicating directly with those beings in real space time until I am actually able to assess or get to know who that/those beings are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust my beliefs/opinions/judgements towards others that I have created within my own mind, where in I have placed trust in my mind and my own internal reality of the mind to make assessments instead of trusting the physical as that which is actually here in the moment, where in for instance I base my assessment of another through my actual interaction with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge x as contradictory to me.

I forgive myself for not realizing that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge most people I meet/see as being contradictory to me, and not realize or see how this imply separation where I have not allowed myself to see/realize my equality with others and others with me as who we are within the context of oneness and equality where we are simply just different points of the same thing; Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to focus on my judgements towards others that I develop/create within my mind instead of stopping participating with and as judgements towards others in my mind that I make from a distance and instead remain here in and as breath, in and as the physical where I learn to exist / live here in and as the physical and in this getting to know others within the context of the physical as my direct relationship/interaction with them in real time.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to break out of my self contained bubble within which I exist towards others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to step out of my self contained bubble of and as my mind where I base all my conclusions and assessments of all the beings I meet in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate the judgements I make towards people through by accepting and allowing myself rather than stop participating in such judgements, actually end up perpetuating these judgements and perceptions by “pulling back” and “isolating” myself from others where then the initial judgements snowball and accumulate into more judgements where in I end up creating entire contexts and conversations within my own mind in and as back-chat where as I do this I judge them more and more and more and also judging myself more and more and more for participating  with such thoughts/judgements/perceptions of others that I realize is not based in anything but my own self perpetuated ideas that has not actual backing in real reality but that I took and blew out of proportion through feeding that initial judgement, and through doing this throughout my life have created this as a pattern and living behaviour of myself as how I go about “living my life” and I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/recognize this behaviour of self abuse and to thus change it by stopping the participating of myself as this behaviour of conversing within myself within my own mind about beings and creating realities and ideas about them and who they are, rather than stopping this existence of myself as the mind and living here in and as the physical actually getting to know beings for real by spending actual space/time with them in the physical.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start this pattern of creating ideas about people within my mind that I then believe is real when I was younger where I would think about the people I saw on television and create an entire alternate reality about them in my mind about who they were that was not actually who they were/are, but only my self created idea about this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to substitute actual living here in the physical for living existing in the mind as can be seen by this living behaviour of mine where instead of actually communicating and interacting with beings I would stand back and judge them and only ever participate with them in my mind believing that this was who they really were, not realizing I was only creating my own idea about them, thus I only ever developed a relationship with my mind instead of actually getting to know others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear others where in I feared communicating and interacting with others, and that I accepted and allowed this fear to influence me and thus ended up limiting myself in my self expression with others where in I accepted and allowed my fear to influence me to isolate myself and just keep to myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into automatic resistance towards most beings that I see where I almost instantly do not want to interact with them and here I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to embrace others as myself where I have no reaction towards others but am able to exist Here as myself no matter who is in my presence or if I am alone.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see/define other beings as barriers and blocks.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see/experience other beings in my world as obstacles that I must get around, or manage, instead of seeing other beings as points of myself to get to know and explore and expand me as the vastness of who I am as life as All that is here.

I commit myself to step/walk out of the mind as my inner conversations/alternate realities that I exist within in and as my mind, towards/ in relation to people, and get myself to here where in I stop participating in / with the voices in my head as my guiding principle in my relations to others but that I exist here in and as the physical and direct myself to actually get out of the isolation in and of my mind and also out of the isolation of me in and as the physical as in by staying in my room all the time, and actually direct myself into the physical vicinity/space of others and learn to actually spend time with people and get to know people instead of accepting and allowing myself to limit myself through by accepted and allowing myself to continue existing/living out my pre-programmed behaviour of just “staying away from people”.

I commit myself to stopping the existence of myself as anti-social as I see/realize/understand how I have defined/created this point of myself as anti-social through existing in and as the mind and so thus change this behaviour within supporting me through writing, self forgiveness, and self corrective application to bring myself into and as the physical and creating/developing real relationships with people no more accepting and allowing myself to exist in my own judgements towards beings as the extent of the relationship I develop with them, which is not in fact a relationship I have developed with them but rather with a picture/image/idea of them within my own mind.

I commit myself to bursting my alternate mind reality bubble that I have put so much time and attention into growing, specifically here in how I have “related” to other people in my life and that actually separated from in fact ever getting to know anybody as in all my relationships I ended up placing trust in my mind alternate reality bubble that I created in relation to every being I met, where in when I was alone or even with others and would consult this inner mind reality bubble about the being that I created within myself as my own opinions / judgements/belifes which then actually became a part of the relationship I had with each being in my world and so thus

I commit myself to ending my relationship/participating/consultation with my mind reality bubble when creating/developing/existing in relationship to others and instead stick to what is really here as the actual physical interactions and communications with the beings.

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

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