Self Limitation – I will only do so much I consider “Negative” – An Artists Journey to Life: Day 44

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a system that limits what I can do and call a life, to money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to work blindly in the system and in doing this accept the system and accept my role as my job within the system, not realizing that an 1/2 hour paid lunch holidays or a pension is not something to look forwards to but in fact a reward that distract from the fact that we have given our entire selves over to a system of money and enslavement where I work every day for money to survive as this is something that the system we have created does not provide but only give on conditions, and thus I forgive myself for not realizing that this is not life but in fact enslavement.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realizing that me only worrying about myself in this world and only worrying about my paycheque and not considering or caring about anyone else because that has been what I have been conditioned to see as normal, is Not ok, and I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that it does not have to be this way but that we are able to create a system that actually provide for ourselves, as opposed to creating a system where we must jump through hoops to get money to survive and if we are somehow not able or fit to jump through such hoops that we are left to die which can be seen by homelessness and starvation where such beings are literally left to fend for themselves .

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support a system that creates the conditions for extensive stress on human beings that cause health problems due to such stress, and thus I forgive myself for not realizing that the current world system is not supportive to human beings, as even thoughs who do have the luxury of having a paycheque must exist in stress, as the nature of the system and the siphoning of money from the pockets of the people always place the being in a position of having to worry about how much money they have as we have created a system where money is life, and thus as the money depletes, so does ones access to life as food, shelter, water, clothing etc, where they are no more able to afford such basics of life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to do everything in my power to stop our current system of abuse through a practical step by step strategy and implement an Equal Money System that is based on life and based on giving to all human beings equally, where the possibility of any human being on earth not having access to their basic needs is simply not acceptable and thus the Equal Money System will be based on a design that will provide to all equally as a foundation of the system, and stop the bull-shit idea that its somehow acceptable that a small fraction is able to be the only ones that have access to not only all that they need but an excess that is not necessary, while others do not even have enough to live.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define a bi-weekly paycheque as a good thing, not realizing the absolute and utter compromise I have made and accepted within myself as who I am as life through accepting and allowing myself to define having a regular pay cheque as a good thing, not allowing myself to stand up and no more accept that which I in fact do see as the abuse of the system where in even though I get a regular paycheque that I do in fact see this is a compromise as I am existing completely as a pawn to those who have more money than me, where there is not equality whatsoever, where my position of birth has determined where I sit in the hierarchy of the system of abuse and so I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lie to myself and call a regular paycheque “a good thing” when this idea of something being “good” has been so fucked up by the absolute atrocity of the system that we have created that we have compromised our definition of something that is “good” so that now it actually represent total enslavement where our statement of that which is a good thing as a regular paycheque is in fact representing slavery to a system of abuse and greed, and so in fact is Not Good, at all, yet I have lied to myself believing that there is nothing I can do and so just go along with what everyone else talks about as this “regular pay cheque” as being “a good thing” as all you have to do is compromise  your entire life to get it, and exist a salve in the system of money.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider that my position in the world can actually be used for supporting others to become stronger because I have found myself in a position where I have access to money, and so thus I forgive myself for not realizing that if I just continue walking my path of just making money for me and living out my life that, there is really no point to this, and it will have no benefit to earth and what is here, as I have not dared to stand with a group that support what is best for all and is willing to implement a system for the good of all, which require myself to give up my future life path that I believed that I was going to walk as in continuing to make money for myself and shift my direction of me to actually stand up for and as Life in fact and support the bringing forth of a World System that in fact support all beings, even if that mean that I must give up what I have and I have earned to ensure that all has equal strength to me as equal money so that we can all learn and grow and support ourselves to reach our utmost potential equally as it is not common sensically fair that I should have access to effective development as what I require as training and development and human physical support, because I have money, and to bad for everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not speak up about an equal money system or doing what is best for all because I fear being ostracized and judged.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am weak and not able to do more because I am tired when I get home from work.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to argue for my limitations believing that “I am actually tired” and in this holding myself back from becoming more effective.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to wait for time to open up where I can apply myself in certain points which require direction instead of making time, but directing such points during my normal schedule where I would have used that time to entertain myself and not really be directive with my time.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to become more effective in my direction and participation in supporting the bringing forth of awareness of an equal money system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose the limitation of “I am tired” on my human physical body, when I get home from work and use the point of “I am tired” as a reason for me to not apply myself in anything else that I consider “work”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find ways to limit my effectiveness of me, instead finding ways to become more effective where in I explore my accepted abilities and limits through writing, self forgiveness, and self corrections to support myself in not accepting any limitations of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a ceiling within and as myself that I am apparently not able to go beyond and so thus always stop once I get to that ceiling and never pushing myself past this point within the realization that to push past this ceiling would be me actually assisting and supporting myself to will myself to become more effective and directive within my practical physical application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make the statement that “I am never able to read after work because I get to tired” instead of supporting myself to rather program and pattern myself to read after work within the realization that doing this will actually support me to expand myself and develop myself within my application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist so long in my “afterwork” program, where I have accepted that because I work a job that I am not able to do more than this but that this “take up all of my time”

I commit myself to no more accepting and allowing my “afterwork program” which has within it the idea that “work takes up all my time” and so I commit myself to explore how to incorporate other practical points after work so that I am not accepting and allowing myself to exist in a state of only thinking about all the things I need to do but never get done because I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can only work for so long during the day, and thus other projects that I consider “work” I do not do when I get home because I apparently used up all my “work capacity” during the day, which I have also justified as being reasonable seeing as how I get paid for this work during my day.

I commit myself stop defining my world within positive, negative, neutrality where I classify each point within my day within this spectrum of positive, negative, neutral where I believe as I have defined for myself that I only do so much things that are classified as negative, and then I must do some that is classified as positive instead of simply directing each task here as breath, and stop limiting myself by following my pre-programmed conditions of what I will/can and will not/can not do based on energy as negative and positive and neutral.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move throughout my day like an energetic meter where I limit my movements and directions to only doing that which is not in conflict with my interal energetic guidelines which I have stated that I will only do so much per day that I consider to be negative after which time I stop and will no longer do any more, and thus I forgive myself for not realizing that I have in fact limited myself by accepting and allowing myself to move according to a pre-established energy meter instead of just directing myself in that which requires to be done, where I stop judging and measuring everything according to energy and rather just practice being here and directing myself in the task at hand where I stop accepting and allowing myself to first judge the task at hand in relation to energy.

 

I commit myself to exploring/practicing this point that I am now see of walking each task in breath based on practical necessity instead of energetic reward, so as to support myself to be more stable and consistently directive throughout my day.

 

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

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