Letting Myself Off the Hook for Missing Breaths – An Artists Journey to Life: Day 41

Right at the end up work today I hurt my back. Its not too bad but enough to be in physical discomfort and to remind me that I am not invincible…obviously. Though I find this interesting because since I started work at my new job, my left wrist has started to hurt because I have been using a trimmer to trim grass and so I hold this machine all day long, and this I was not used to and so strained my wrist and the thing just does not seem to want to heal.  So towards the end of the day today I went to lift a garbage can full of cut grass into the back of the truck and I mis-measured my step and so where I was supposed to place my foot on the tailgate there was just air and so I had to quickly compensate and try to balance myself to not fall over while holding this garbage pail of grass over my head and so I bent my back a funny way and hurt my lower back vertebrate. This was also because of my left wrist not being at full strength and so this one wrist injury in a way lead to this other injury. Since I have started my new job I have been working a fair amount. I don’t mind this but now my physical body is calling out to me to slow down. I would have worked tomorrow as well but due to this back point that happened at the end of the day today I decided to opt to take the full weekend off to assist and support my physical body with these 2 injuries that has come up.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to focus entirely on working my job where I let most everything else fall by the wayside and never get anything done at home, not even managing to organize my room because when I get home from work I don’t want to spend time doing this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my room and my car to stay cluttered and messy and not take the time to clean and organize my environment to make sure it is clear and not just clogging up my environment with unnecessary clutter.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to effectively maintain my immediate environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to doubt my future here in the system, particularly when I look into the future at what I might be doing in the next 5 years, and thus within this doubt, never actually commit to anything completely because I have accepted that “I don’t know the future” which is actually just subtle manipulation to justify me not committing to a point and a direction and walking that point/direction completely and thoroughly.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lack trust in myself to walk the plan / equation I am busy laying out for me to become effective and established and stable in the system to assist and support the bringing forth of an equal money system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to miss breaths within my application of myself here in and as Self Direction in walking/standing in Self Honesty and preparing myself to stand as an example for how to assist and support self within the process of birthing oneself as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as one who “misses breaths” and therefore its “ok” if I do this, because “it expected anyways” and I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to direct myself within the correction of this idea of myself where in I take responsibility and the directive principle of my and I Direct me in and as the Solution to effectively transform myself into effectiveness instead of allowing my pre-conceived ideas about myself as “one who misses breaths” to remain as who I am accepting and allowing myself to be/exist as.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to walk through the doors that are before me as a point of commitment as I realize that if I do not will myself as the opening of the door, it will not open, and I will just remain as I have always been.

I forgive myself for not realizing that Self Will is not pre-programmed from the perspective of it being automatic, but that Self Will is a decision one make in awareness to direct / move / will oneself into and as a specific direction of self based on principle and not accepting the mind as back-chat and resistance as who self has created self to be to influence self in self’s Directive Principle.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear taking a day off work or taking the weekend off because then my boss might think I am not a good worker, and actually I think/ Believe that I am not a good, effective, strong worker.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed fear to direct me within this point, instead of me directing myself clearly based on principles and equations that I have mapped out for myself that will support what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I take the weekends off that this is an indication of weakness, and that I am not ready to stand and direct me effectively in the system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that what I am looking at in terms of my direction of me to create my future how I see is a practical direction for myself, will not come true, or is an illusion.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that I am bullshitting myself with my direction and ideas about what I would like to do and how I would like to direct myself within my life and within the system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that things that I see, never work out or come true.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am rushing myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I will not be able to walk from where I am now to the point I am looking at as a goal for myself to walk/direct/stand within.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear starting a business in the system and making commitments as necessary steps to walking this process because I fear failing, and fear something bad happening, especially in terms of money. I fear that there will be a point of failure that will suddenly happen without my expecting it, and thus am hesitant to fully direct/commit myself and walk this point for myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to doubt my ability to actually run a successful business, because I have always defined myself as a loner and thus believe that I will not be able to stand as a center/hub point.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that here is an opportunity for me to re-create and re-design myself within and though daily writing, self forgiveness, and self correction and practical physical living/walking where I transform / re-program myself to be effective, specific, detailed, thorough, and precise, within  All the points that I require to walk to ensure that what I take on is done to the utmost potential of my ability

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “Let myself off the hook” with the point of walking in Self Honesty in Every Breath and not missing a breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed this point of walking in self honesty in every breath and not missing a breath to sink into the depths of me somewhere, where I just let it go and forget all about it.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to place /make this point of standing/existing in self honesty in every breath and not missing a breath a point which I am aware of in every breath and is always here as a point I am walking and living in every breath / every moment.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to be aware as self awareness of this point of “never missing a breath” in every moment.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to “let myself off the hook” from never missing a breath in standing in self honesty where in I believe that “this is not possible” for me and within this belief “let myself off the hook” convincing myself that its ok to miss a breath because I wouldn’t have been able to do it anyways, and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to make the decision within and as myself to “never miss a breath” And to walk this as myself in consistently daily in every moment as a practical application of me that I walk breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to open the door of “never missing a breath” though willing myself to walk through this door, instead of just letting the door of this opportunity to sit closed and me never willing myself walk through it, and thus finalizing everything by thinking/believing that “its not possible for me to actually stand in every breath” and thus that door remain closed as an unexplored point of potential for self to walk.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into immediate fear when considering this point of “never missing a breath”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me never missing a breath as a “pipe dream”

I commit myself to realizing that to never miss  a breath implies self change and consistent application of self in Self Honesty as the foundation for new life on earth, as who I am willing myself to become as a living expression of life.

I commit myself to realizing that to never miss a breath is a decision I make for myself that is within my hands to do so.

I commit myself to willing myself to never miss a breath, and no more accepting and allowing myself to let myself off the hook so easily due to me thinking / believing that “I could never have / can never do it anyways and thus within this thought/belief, allow myself to just miss breaths as this is exactly what I expected and here in let myself off the hook and just remain exactly as who I have always been, not daring to will myself to actually change me. And to stop this application of letting myself off the hook, but rather keeping me on the hook as insistent and consistent in my application of never missing a breath, As deliberately walking the point I believe/believed that I could never walk.

I commit myself to keeping myself on the hook as a deliberate point of self change instead of always letting me off the hook, due to believing I will end up failing,  which has been the backbone of this world/life we have created for ourselves as the system/world we live in where this application of letting ourselves off  the hook become the backbone to perpetuating this mess we have created instead of stopping/changing this application of ourselves/myself to keep myself on the hook in every moment, and that when ever this point of “letting myself off the hook come up” I stop and do not accept and allow myself to “let myself off the hook” but keep myself on the hook and give direction to the point/task at hand, that I am wanting to let myself off the hook for, and in doing this support myself to develop myself as walking /living accountability and responsibility.

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

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