Making a Decision – An Artists Journey to Life: Day 39

So today I made a decision on which place to live I was going to take. This last week and half I have met with a few potential roomates and looked at some places to live in order to get this point directed.

I was looking at 2 different places that seemed like either one could work. So I spent the last day or so, comparing and going over all the aspects of each place and looking at each point practically to see what would be the most effective / supportive point.

I have had an understanding about how to assess my world practically but have found in process that the mind has a way of inserting itself into all my decisions and that I am essentially still practising the ability to in fact assess and direct myself practically in my world.

So today I made a final decision on where I was going to live and here the SF on some of the points that came up after making this decision.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that “good things will happen” in making a Self Honesty Decision instead of realizing that anything “good” is indicating the mind from the perspective of “good” being that of a feeling of hope or any energetic experience inside me that I define as positive. And so I forgive myself for not realizing that in making a self honest decision there will be no experience or energy attached to it as it will simply be a direction I take where in everything simply remain the same from the perspective of me living here as breath as the physical in my application facing my world and walking my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope and wish for positive things to happen as a reward for a decision I make, not realizing that to hope or want for positive things to happen based on a decision I make is indicating that I am in my mind and not here as breath as the physical in constancy and consistency where I am the directive creative principle of me and thus I do not require for good or positive things to happen as I am the creative/directive principle of myself and my world and so thus I direct me specifically as a Solution to correct my life and what is here as Thee life that we have created for ourselves.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to stand as what is best for all in the decisions I make but still allowing the “hope for a something good happen” to influence me which is revealed in the fact that this experience/reaction surfaced after I made a decision on this point of a place to live showing that it was existent within me during my decision making process instead of me not having this point at all within me as I walk and direct myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe and want for good things to happen based on the decisions I make, instead of realizing and seeing that all that happen is always in direct relationship to the decisions I make as cause and effect, and thus for “good things to happen” in terms of how I am accepting this idea/point within me is implying that something will happen in a way that I did not specifically create/direct in awareness, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still exist/live my life based on separation and abdication of responsibility that I have conditioned and programmed myself to live/exist as, as the point of where I would hope and want for “Something” to just happen to change the course/direction of my life instead of me directing all aspects of my life in awareness, taking full responsibility for myself and my life and creating/directing myself and my life specifically how I want it, where there is no more anything that happen automatically or without me placing it myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to make a decision because I think/believe good things will happen if I “make the right choice”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want rewards.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to want and desire rewards based on what I do, because I believe that this will fulfill me or actually bring me something substantial in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to base my decision making process on the reward system where my decisions are based on getting something good in return and that I will not yet make decisions based on what is best for all, where the “return” is what is best for all, and has nothing to do with my own personal life and my own satisfaction and reward that comes independently and before the reward that is given to all equally including myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a wrong decision and within this fear, react to a decision that I have made where in I start fearing that I have made a wrong decision and then come up with the idea that the decision I made was in someway based in the mind and is thus wrong, because there is no way that I could actually make a self honesty effective decision for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear making a decision that will have bad consequences and to thus always worry about the decisions I make and constantly be looking over my shoulder for the consequence that will/may catch p with me for making/basing my decisions in self interest instead of perfect equality and oneness.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see/realize/understand that to go into a positive reaction towards a decision I made is still a point of me wanting something to happen to me in my life as a point of hope which is indicating that I am not yet standing in absolute directive principle of myself, but wanting something else to save me.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to “want more” which come as a point of desire as wanting and desiring “good things to happen to me” because of the decisions I make, instead of just sticking to what is here as my practical physical reality in all moments, and focus on directing that which requires to be directed.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to want monetary reward for the decisons I make, believing that this will actually make me happy and fulfil me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow myself to go into hope about something else saving me, whether this be a person or situation or new place that I live, or more money,  to make my life better, instead of continuing to stand in self responsibility in every moment within the realization that I still must direct myself daily just as I always have and will have to continue to do so consistently each day until I have proven that who I am as Self Honesty and Responsibility towards life as what is best for all Stand Here as Me Permanently and can be walked Permanently and is not just temporary application of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that once I make a self honest decision to support me that this means I am done and do can now rest, instead of realizing that this self honest decision making must be established as me as a consistent point, and not simply just done once and then I can pat myself on the back, which is a complete mis-perception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that once I make a self honest decision based in self support  that I am done and can reward myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into excitement as positive experience within me in relation to decision that I have made that I am perceiving to be self honest, but that I have not in fact walked practically physically to see what all the points are that I have aligned myself with in making this decision of taking the new place that I have decided to live in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into reaction where in I am insisting that I have not made a decision that actually support me, and thus I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to recognize when I have in fact made a decision that supports me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require some kind of response from myself with regards to decisions I make, instead of realizing that I simply make decisions and them walk them.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear bad things happening or negative points coming up in the decision I have made for myself, because I believe that this will not happen, and thus, if it does, is an indication of something being wrong.

I forgive myself that I Have accepted and allowed myself to fear that the idea I have as this decision I have made to take this new place as being effective will turn out to be not effective and completely fall apart on me where negative points will start to surface and reveal the real truth of the decision I have made, instead of just sticking to practical reality day by day and stop existing in fear of things not working out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want things to work out for me to have a/the good life, instead of realizing that the point is to stand within the consistent decision making done in the principle of what is best for ALL at all times, and is not about just my life being a good life as the starting point of the decisions I make.

I commit myself to aligning myself and my life to what is best for all, and thus practice making decisions that are based in what is best for all, instead of them being based in self interest where my first consideration is not what is best for all, but in fact “what will make my life good” and not seeing that this is in fact irrelevant within the context of who I am as life as oneness and equality where to just go for “a good life” as my first priority only reveal who I really am as self interest and that I am not really standing as Life.

I commit myself to stop all expectations of “something good happening” where I am constantly in my mind “looking ahead of myself around the corner” to see if maybe possibly something good and positive will come, and thus I commit myself to stopping this mind participation and simply living here in and as the physical and stopping all expectation of “something good happening” as I realize that nothing good needs to happen, but that my directive point is to remain here as stability as consistency and directing myself in practical common sense, no more accepting any point of hope, or wanting something good to happen as some desire or hope within me.

I commit myself to stop “patting myself on the back” where in I go into energy as “positivity” and generate an experience within me.

I commit myself to directing myself practically though this point of moving into my new place and simply sticking to that and stopping any experience I have coming up in relation to this point, as I realize that any mind/mental experience is the mind and thus not real, and that the only experience that should exist is the experience of me as the physical moving in and as the physical as a physical experience of self.

 

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One thought on “Making a Decision – An Artists Journey to Life: Day 39

  1. Pingback: Day 116: From Imagination back to the Physical « Arvydas's Journey To Life

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