Mind Experience Assessment Vs Actual Physical Experience Feedback – An Artists Journey to Life: Day 37

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself  to agree with resistance I experience towards certain points instead of investigating myself to see where that resistance came from and how I created relationships throughout my life that lead to resistance points.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to accept resistance to work / working a job because that is what I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I should do, and that it is normal to experience resistance to working, and to within accepting this resistance towards work as normal, actually give it power instead of investigating why and what specifically is creating/generating such resistance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to trust the experience that I create within myself when thinking about my job, even though my experience I create as myself in thinking about and imaging my job is nothing like the actual experience I have while practically moving myself physically within the act of doing to the job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shift back and forth between my job being ok while I am at work to my job not being ok as the idea/perception/experience I create within myself in thinking about my job after work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my job as an umbrealla point simply place as the reason for my resistance but not go any deeper than that.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience much resistance to my job when I woke up this morning where I did not at all want to get out of bed and go to work but just remain in my bed and want to escape from my job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the resistance I experience in relation to my job on my job instead of looking at this point from the perspective of it being actually me who is creating the resistance within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give resistance power by acknowledging it as as something that has power and influence over me instead of directing myself here as breath and not allowing myself to for instance linger in bed as a reaction to the resistance I “experience” as myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am not capable of walking through points of resistance that I face where I actually  walk a point until there is no more resistance to doing so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “want to run” from a point/my job as a reaction to resistance instead of learning to face resistance and walk through it where I do not accept and allow myself to run from it all but learn to face it and stand and continue to stand and apply myself in practical common sense.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist my job because I have defined the work as “boring”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the thought “my job is below my skill level, and thus diminishing me” as a point of self sabotage and a point that validate and give power to the resistance I experience in relation to my job, when in fact it is the acceptance of such a thought that create and manifest the resistance I experience towards my new job.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to take full responsibility for myself and my “experience” in relation to my job from the perspective of realizing that it is me that is creating my experience in relation to my job, and particularly creating and generating and accumulating resistance in relation to my job by thinking about going in a different direction and basically thinking and participating with thoughts about me leaving my job and finding something better which just cause resistance to come up with/towards my job, because I am not totally on board and embracing my new job and within this not contradicting my self direction with thoughts about doing other things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear aligning myself completely with my new job.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear that this job “is not the right thing to do” and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with the thought “this job is not the right thing to do” which ends up causing friction as it contradict the direction I am walking and opens the door for me to participate with alternative directions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I am limited within my current job, which is why I participate with thoughts which are actually more like ideals based on emotion and feeling about having the perfect job doing “something” else that is not what I am doing now, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place limitations on my new job, seeing the point as limited.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am not able to stand in this point as my new job for the entire summer as this seems so long and when I think about how long this summer is start to experience resistance as I start thinking that “I will never last that long” or “something will happen and I will not last” instead of taking it one breath at a time, one step at a time, day by day, and focus on being effective each day.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define my job as boring, and to experience a form of resistance that I have attached to this word boring in relation to my job, when again, this experience of my job as boring that I experience when thinking about my job is actually not like the actual experience of the job itself when I am actually there directing myself in the physical and in fact doing the job.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to embrace this process of self transformation from the perspective of stopping completely existing in my mind and my mind experience which I have programmed myself to be, and to focus/direct me here to be here in the physical at all times and use the physical as a frame of reference for my moment to moment living.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to define every job I have within my mind, and use that mind definition and experience of myself in relation to my mind definition as the measuring point for if I like a job or not, instead of focusing on the physical and my actual physical movement within the job.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist my job because I have defined this job as not brining me enough money.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be constantly tallying within my mind all the positive and negative points of my job where in I am attempting to build a profile within my mind and in my judgements of the job within positive and negative to determine a decision of which way to go with my job, whether to stick around or stop.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to direct myself to my physical experience within working at this job, as this point is more real than the mind generated experience I create when thinking about my job in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear this job limiting me because I want to get good skills to be effective in the system.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be impatient where I want to immediate results and forget that what I am busy with in building up my experience and walking in the system will take years, not weeks.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to go into stress because I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with the thought “I cannot handle this” in relation to actually walking this job for the next 5 months, and then continuing on with my snow route, as when I imaging and think about points in my mind, I perceive them to be exactly like it was in the past, and thus go into resistance in looking at points within my head/mind because all I see is that which I have already lived last year, which I cannot bare to repeat again.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist the people at my job, and in this I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that if as my mind had my way, I would just do exactly the same thing over again because it is safe instead of pushing myself to meet and work with and interact new people which in the beginning takes some effort and there will be resistance because these beings are new and everything isn’t just automated any more and so I actually have to change me to meet and interact and work with new people which I see as a cause for resistance that comes up, and also within this I forgive myself for not considering the benefit of resistance as a point that is indicating that I am actually changing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow resistance to make my decisions for me instead of me making a decision for myself based on practical common sense and then implementing that decision by walking the point and sticking to that decision I made based on practical common sense, and not just give up and give in when I experience resistance to walking/implementing my decisions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define resistance as a bad thing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to utilize positive and negative energy as my guideline to the effectiveness of a point instead of looking at it practically in common sense and assessing  it this way, and no more accepting and allowing myself to base decisions on energy which is not in fact self direction at all but direction in relation to energy where I make energy the ultimate point, and my god to decide determine what I do or not do as I have accepted the negative positive feedback I get from a point determine my direction within it, instead of me making a common sense practical decision to walk a point and understand that the energy I experience in relation to the point has nothing to do with the practical effectiveness of the point which must be assessed by using common sense not feelings or emotions or experiences or resistances.

I forgive myself for not yet placing what is best for all as the living principle by which I direct myself in every moment where in I no longer only look at my own experience of myself in my tiny personal world as the determiner of my decisions, but that I take into practical consideration what is best for all within the decisions I make for me and how I direct myself in my world.

I commit myself developing the ability to walk within the principle of what is best for all in the decisions I make in my day to day world where I establish this point/principle as myself as my bottom line and thus direct myself from this starting point and stop self interest.

I commit myself to stop basing my jobs on self interest but to look at the direction I am taking with my jobs within the context of what is best for all.

I commit myself to ensure that I am not creating resistance within my own mind by going into my mind and fantasizing about some perfect life that is not here, and to direct myself to live here in the moment and in the physical within practical self direction, instead of always projecting myself into some future point so much so that I am never here in and as the moment in and as ALL moments.

I commit myself to pushing myself to live in the physical and pull me out of my addiction to the mind and automatic thinking and imaging things.

I commit myself to directing myself in and as the physical when I get home from work and do not accept and allow myself to start thinking about my job and creating friction in fantasizing about doing something else.

I commit myself to writing, self forgiveness, and self corrections daily as a point I establish as myself to support myself to work with myself and in this support me in re-programming me to live here in the physical and not in the mind as thoughts, ideas, pictures, hope, feelings, emotions.

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

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