I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the excuses I come up with within myself/my mind to not take responsibility for myself where in I will allow my own justifications within my mind to outweigh common sense.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to listen more and more to the voices in my mind as they seem to have gotten louder, especially when things become challenging in my world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed of myself join everyone else in leading a life of excuses and not taking responsibility for myself in every moment in doing what I know is common sensically the most effective way to direct myself in a moment, regardless if I feel like it or not.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to my mind and back-chat much more when things get challenging and I must walk points that may not be how I wanted things to be, instead of always sticking to practical common sense where I stick to practical application to ensure my world is practically functioning consistently where such practical responsibilities must be walked Daily as Living Acts, even if it is something that do not feel like doing, but that I do anyways to ensure the effective functionality of my life here in the system that require certain points to be in place and moving as the system to ensure my stability within the system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately allow my practical responsibilities to slip through the cracks and to come up with reasons and justifications why this is, where I will blame my circumstance and my current financial and living condition as the reason why I have allowed such responsibilities to slip through the cracks as if there wasn’t anything I could do when the truth is I didn’t really want to take absolute responsibility for the point which was entirely possible but would have required me to actually stand and walk that point of practical responsibility, a point that have not yet walked in consistency as a permanent point that stand no matter what. And within this I forgive myself for not realizing that the my experience of myself as bitterness and resentment is related to how I have been directing myself and never because of something outside of me.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to come up with reasons and justifications why I do not read blogs being posted by other destonians where I have used the excuse that I am busy with work and then am just to tired when I get home and have such a very short time available for this, and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to will myself to find a solution to this point so that I can remain stable in my participation with Desteni, where in for instance I utilize my daily writing to support myself to design/place an effective solution for myself to live so that I can actually develop effective stability within my world in all aspects instead of fumbling and stumbling to keep up and maintain my most basic duties.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame money or lack there of for my reason why I am not effectively keeping up with my participation with Desteni.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as unable when it comes to becoming financially stable and to within accepting this definition of myself go into blame instead of taking responsibility for my life and my financial stability within the system.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my programming for my world is the way it is, and to define my programming as difficult to break, which is the reason I give myself as to why my world has not yet changed and I have become financially stable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to what my mind has to say about my new job, and what my mind has to say about if I should keep the job or not, where in I will actually listen to my back-chat as the voices and reactions and reasoning’s in my mind as to what I should do about my job, instead of sticking to practical common sense.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to convince myself that following emotions and feelings is me apparently following common sense.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope and pray something else will come along in my world and save me from the creation of my life that i have created for myself, instead of me realizing that I am in fact going to have to deliberately direct every aspect of my world effectively in order to make my world effective, and thus I am showing myself that I am really not specific enough with this point in terms of me giving effective specific direction to my practical functional system life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become frustrated that this point of financial stability does not move faster and then blame and judge myself as ineffective, stupid and dumb.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the back-chat/thought “I don’t belong here in relation to the city I live in, and then go into back-chat thinking about that things might be different somewhere else.
I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize/see/understand that the resentment and anger and annoyance and disgust I have towards where I live and my life and people and everything of my world is actually experiences within and as me and thus are Me and not in fact caused by my external reality, and thus I forgive myself for not recognizing that every experience I have within myself is never about anything outside of me but always about me and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk around carrying experiences of disgust, guilt, anger, resentment towards myself and not stop and investigate how I have become these experiences throughout my life and to thus, stop such experiences as they serve no practical purpose what so ever.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed and allowed myself to listen to mind as thoughts feelings and emotions that come up within me as voices/thoughts/opinions about something which I accept and allow myself to follow and believe, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe the experience of myself in relation to a particular point instead of ensuring that this is not simply the mind having a fit or attempting to assert itself as the directive principle of me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to speak the words within myself “I don’t belong here” in relation to my new job, and then to actually believe these words.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to manifest a way out of my job, whether that be my wrist hurting, or my car breaking down, because then I would apparently be free, at least that is what I would/am leading myself to believe, and thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see the common sense that I in fact will not be free but will just be stuck without a job and actually would just practically fuck myself over, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to resist walking the long slow process of accumulating money and directing myself within this establish my own business so that I can support the process moving forwards.
I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stand at any point I am faced with, and do direct myself within what is practically best for all.
I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dream about a life where things are better, and to hope for such a life instead of taking into consideration practically creating my life as effective, step by step instead of just wanting it to magically appear, and to within this ensure that I take into consideration all beings on earth ensuring that I live what is best for all as my life commitment.
I commit myself to exploring this aspect of myself as how I have designed myself in the image and likeness and patterning of excuses and justifications throughout my life where I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my life within a point of “not caring” what happens, and thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live what it takes to stand consistently and stable within the system.
I commit myself to exploring this point of “facing resistance” in my world and to flag point the back-chat that comes up in relation to facing points that I may not want to stand in.
I commit myself finding and exposing to myself how many times a day I utilize excuses and justifications to get away from self responsibility instead of pushing for actually daily Self Honesty within Self Responsibility.
I commit myself establishing myself as financially responsible and stable within the system where I establish this point as a daily consistent point I walk each day to ensure this point is in place.