Let Me Just do the Exact Same Thing Over Again? – An Artists Journey to Life – Day 29

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear changing my total life.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see myself living in a completely different way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only consider seeing “my life” in the idea that I think my life should be lived.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to see other possibilities or ways of living as “irrational”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear stopping my current way and mode of living because I believe that if I do this I will be giving up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attempt to force my life to work and believe that not matter where I go or what I do with my life, that I will always experience myself in this way.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to just do what I have always been doing because this is what I have believed is how I will make my life work, even if my life has not moved and I have not found any more stability within the point which I am standing for the last 2 years, but that I just continue to re-create the same mode way of living as a way to try and make my life work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just re-create the exact mode or way of living that I have just lived for the past year and which I now find myself in the exact same position as before where nothing in and as my life ever seem to move forwards and within this I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to consider I different approach and direction with regards to my practical approach to my life and what is the most effective way to move forwards.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the decisions I make for myself as “the most effective” as if “I am always right” in the decisions I make and not consider other possibilities or options for me to walk live.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to really explore the points here in terms of how is the best way to move forwards instead of just quickly, as fast as I can build my life up and put my life back together in exactly the same way that I had before.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear changing my way/mode of living because I fear that I haven’t stuck this point out long enough to make it work, even though I find myself in exactly the same position I was 1 year ago where there seems to be literally no movement.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear moving home because I fear just being in/living in the exact same position when I am in my hometown which then there would be not point to this, as this “way of life” that I live day by day has not supported me from the perspective that I have found no stability within myself or have been able to stand within and as a point of stability within this “mode of life”

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going back to my hometown because I fear facing the past as the me which I created/constructed throughout my childhood and teenage years where I would in essence be facing the very creation/construction of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear spending the winter in my hometown because I fear not having enough money to support myself to live, and that this would make my life miserable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist moving to my home town as then I would have to face family and friends, a point which I dread and have not wanted to face where in I have in essence moved away to a different city so that I would not have to deal with family or friends in any way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define dealing with family and friends as a hassle and annoyance.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that dealing with family and friends will just cause to much friction, and so have avoided this and just put it off to some point in the future believing that this point would come further down the road.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as not strong enough yet to face family and friends as my past that I lived as my life as I created and designed myself as who I am today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear facing family and friends and define this as a horrible experience where I expect the worse, because I believe that nothing good will come of it and it will just be friction and fighting and frustration, and so just avoided this point completely.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize that my life here where I am now has not supported me effectively from the perspective that “for some reason” I have not been able to find any footing or stability.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame myself to for not being able to find effective footing, or establish self stability within my current life, which I have actually not enjoyed much but just decided to “stick it out” and not consider directing myself to change my life.

I commit myself to re-creating and re-designing my life as re-walking my life from the perspective of giving myself as second chance to walk in a way that is self honest and self supportive for myself and others where in facing myself as my past, I do not walk the same past again but this time walk in self honesty as the self correction of who I should have designed myself as, as that which stand in and as self honesty.

I commit myself to walking my process of daily writing, self forgiveness, and self correction no matter which city/place/environment I am in where I continue with my journey to life in self honesty.

I commit myself to embracing myself within facing family and friends where I walk this point in self honesty in breath as I walk my process with/as desteni to bring forth a world that is best for all, not matter when the point arise for me to walking this point of facing family and friends.

I commit myself to exploring all options within this point of moving back home to see if it is a viable point for me to direct myself to do at this point in my life.

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

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One thought on “Let Me Just do the Exact Same Thing Over Again? – An Artists Journey to Life – Day 29

  1. Pingback: GaptoothDiva Outspoken: From Here On Raw Honesty, Don’t Like It… UnFollow Me « GaptoothDiva

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