Self Patience and Not Giving Up – An Artist Journey to Life: Day 18

I

forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience depression when thinking about “settling down” in my current city, yet at the same time see my current position as being  effective.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like an alien where I am currently living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel completely out of place where I am currently living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish that I something or someone will come and take me away from here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with the feeling of “wanting out” instead of realizing that this is not standing and taking responsibility for myself within my current reality and environment, but giving into a “feeling experience” of “wanting out” which I see as a justification as self limitation where in I am not seeing myself as able and capable to stand within my current reality and develop an effective life for myself within the context of standing up and taking responsibility for myself and all that is here as this world to develop myself and my life within the context of the principle of what is best for all so that who I am and what I live support this process of changing our current system and bringing forth a system that supports ALL within Equality and Oneness.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience a kind of depression or sinking within myself when I look at the point of settling down in my current city because I feel so out of place and so foreign here and again not realize that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within believing I am unable to effectively establish an effective life for myself as I stand up within and as the principle of what is best for all.

Thus

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within and as the belief that “I am not able to build and effective life for myself”

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that this experience I have as “feeling like an alien” is actually based on the limitation that I have accepted as myself as being unable to build and create an effective life for myself as I stand up within and as self responsibility and support the bringing forth of a new world system that is best for all and support all life equally as a reflection of life as equality and ones.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to experience a sense of hopelessness at ever feeling like I am in the right spot.

I forgive myself for not realizing that this accepted and allowed experience of hopelessness is based on the perception and acceptance and allowance of myself as being “not capable” of actually creating “the right spot” here for myself in practical consideration and application.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to stand in absolute certainty as myself that I am in fact able and capable and am able to be effective within my application of creating/accumulating and effective life for myself, and thus I assist and support myself to stop such an experience of hopelessness and giving up on myself and instead stand within self trust and self commitment and patience  in walking the necessary practical application day in and day out to establish an effective supportive point for myself here within my environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel/experience myself as a sour note within the song of where I am, where there is just something not right, or out of place, where no matter what I do I just can’t seem to get comfortable where I am.

I commit myself to no more accepting and allowing myself to exist within and as the “sour note” but to correct this point within no more accepting and allowing myself to participate with the idea that I am “not capable” to design and implement and effective life for myself within my current environment that is based on equality and oneness and what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want and hope for something outside myself to enter into my reality and make everything ok, and within this separate myself from the solution of me, believing that there is nothing I can do for and as myself to actually stop this experience of myself as feeling like an Alien in my environment and in my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself participate with back-chat that say’s this should not be this difficult to find comfort and stability within myself within my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to run from this relationship that I have established with the city I live in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to run from myself and not consider that me wanting to run from my city due to the relationship I have with it is a reflection of the relationship I have with myself as I am always the source of my reality where the outer is a reflection of the inner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel frustrated at this relationship that I have with my city where I see it as a relationship that has gone sour and not matter what I attempt I just never seem to be able to get comfortable within this point.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to effectively explore and investigate myself as the relationship I have with myself and what I have accepted and allowed to exist within and as me as being the source and cause of my experience of me as “feeling like an Alien” or not feeling comfortable or stable within my environment, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of bringing the point back to self when ahead and blamed and pointed the finger at my external reality instead of seeing myself as the cause and thus the solution for the point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to blame my experience of feeling like an Alien as the experience of feeling uncomfortable and that there is something out of place, on my external reality instead of first exploring this point within and as my internal reality, to see how and who I am existing as in relation to this point as my internal reality and thus to bring the solution back into my own hands within and as the point of working on and with myself as the solution to this point as the experience of me as I see in common sense that self is the source/solution of any and all of self’s experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want immediate results instead of standing within and as breath as self patients within the understanding of how the physical reality actually moves and how long it actually takes to develop an effective point and for change to be established.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to consider that the immediate results I want to see in my world/reality is a reflection of the immediate results I want to see in my self in my own process of self change, despite the feedback that change requires time and practical application and will not simply just happen without effective application and patients to walk the point constantly and consistently

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose patience on myself and doubt myself within why I am here within my reality and what I am busy doing within my application, because there has not been immediate results, and my world/environment has not changed into a more supportive point with regards to how I’d like it to be and within this I forgive myself for not allowing myself to remain patient with myself in my walking within the realization that what I am walking will take time/years to accumulate into effectiveness and a point that is bares fruit.

I forgive myself that I haven’t allowed myself to stay the course so that the SEEd I plant as myself within my reality grows and bares fruit that accumulate as support within the process of taking responsibility for what is here on earth and taking a stand to bring forth a world that is best for all. And thus I forgive myself for not allowing myself to realize that if I do not spend time developing a point, than the point will simply not grow, and I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abandon a point before it grow effectively and just give up within impatience due to not yet seeing the fruit of my labour not considering that this fruit takes time to develop and mature.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fail to see the relationship between the change within myself and the change within my physical reality and thus to have disconnected these 2 points and attempted to change my external reality without ensuring that I am effectively working on my own internal self reality and world to effectively change myself within the inner and outer equally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put off writing or applying myself within my internal process and then to want my external reality to change, and thus miss the obvious that for substantial change to come forth in my external reality then substantial change must first be walked in and as my inner reality.

I commit myself to bringing forth change within my inner and outer reality by ensuring that I am always working on myself effectively within consistency and constancy in my self application and not just trying to change my external reality in where I put off working with and applying myself effectively Daily.

I commit myself to sticking with my application of me and to not prematurely trample over the seedlings I have planted on my way out the door within giving up due to impatience of seeing no results or considering the time it takes for such results to actually manifest within time and space.

I commit myself breathing and daily applying the practical necessary actions to bring about actual change within my reality and within myself within my process of self realization, through by writing self forgiveness Daily , and by walking my external practical responsibilities Daily.

I commit myself to continuing forth with my practical application and to not give up on myself at this stage but to continue walking and breathing and applying myself daily within and as the practical nurturing of the tree I am establishing as my life within the process of bringing forth a new world and new system based in equality and oneness and what is best for all.

I commit myself to walk my understanding that the inner and outer must both change, and thus both require substantial attention and consistent application daily consistently over a long period of time to bring forth change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become impatient with myself and my reality and want to give up and give in just when I got started, just when I started to get myself established within points that if I continue to walk will grow.

I commit myself to continuing my walk and trusting myself within the path I have at this stage practically laid out for myself to walk and to at least see myself through a substantial amount of this process before I make any assessments or expect substantial results

I commit myself to getting to know how the physical actually move and the pace at which the physical move so as to not sabotage a point that may be effective due to impatience where in I just give up to early and not see the point through within practical planning and application where I walk the necessary time and space in and as the physical so that the tree has time to grow and establish itself and bare fruit and that this is relevant for both the inner and outer reality of self.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have just planted the seeds for a new life and that it will take time for these seeds to establish their roots and grow into substantiality and bare fruit, through my consistent application and attention, both externally and internally.

I commit myself to re-asserting myself as capable and able to create an effective life and establish and effective life for myself within the context taking responsibility for myself and all that is here and standing as a point of support to support the bringing forth of a new world system that is based in the principle of what is best for all and that support ALL Life within equality and oneness, and in this to walk in self patience that things simply take time and consistent application to bring into fruition.

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs

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