Get In, Get The Money, Get Out – An Artists Journey to Life: Day 17

Today when I was at work one of the clients who’s house I was working on was asking me my opinion about his fence that I was building. I did not give a clear answer because if I were to give a clear answer he may not have like it.

Everything in this world is disposable and I have accepted this idea that this is simply how things must be at the moment. I see that I have accepted this idea so as to make it easier to function within the system where everything is disposable and if you actually slow down and take your time with something it is seen as “losing money” or “taking to long”. Within this one cannot actually build quality products where you are able to take your time with it and build it right the first time.

I have encountered this allot in working in the system where the way things work and companies run is to simply build something like a template to get it over and done with and get paid and on to the next and this is the way to optimize making money

From a certain perspective I have observed the people I work with who have done this to great effect in the system and have really questioned myself, asking me if it is really possible to build quality products and still make money. Id like to think it is but I at the same time I have more accepted that it is not possible and so just “go with the flow” of basically building things that I would not build if I were building it for myself. So there is a compromise taking place and this question came up today where basically I was looking at this point of how I have more accepted that I am not able to build effective quality products and that I must scrimp and just build something to “appear” nice but not really be able to stand the test of time. Maybe the company I work for would benefit if I took a stand and decided to build things more effective where in I actually asserted myself in building strong products as opposed to allowing myself to cut corners because this is what I have observed taking place in the company I work for. There are some things that get done quite well, but there is absolutely no consideration of actually seeing that we are in fact creating/constructing/building our world and that if we build something disposable it will eventually catch up with us.

So I have basically just went along building things in a way that I could see was really not the most effective. From a certain perspective I kind of fell into the trap of “doing things the easy way” instead of me asserting myself within points and simply directing myself to do it effectively. I have even noticed how I would talk about how things are not build to last within this system with my co-workers but I would not yet assert myself in taking this stand and actually building something to be permanent and to last. I have more took on the point of “learning to cut corners” as I had accepted the belief that this is how one become successful within the system, and I see that I also accepted the point that I was/am apparently powerless to change these habits within my company because I am not the boss. So I see that I had not even really attempted to assert myself within actually taking on the point of not accepting the cutting of corners.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in order for me to be successful in the system that I must make shabby quality products because “this is just how it’s done”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just give into cutting corners, believing that I must to this to be effective in the system as this is how the system works and that if I don’t cut corners I will lose money.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to “take my bosses lead” not realizing or seeing how this eventually leads to my own compromise of myself and my position I have decided to take as standing within and as a point of Self Integrity.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to see the accumulative affect of “taking my bosses lead” within cutting corners where in it eventually placed me in a situation where I am building a product which lacks quality where I am supposed to stand as the point that give the stamp of approval which in essence place me in a position where I am giving My stamp of approval on something that I know  could have been built more effectively and thus am compromising my own position within the system by placing myself as one who will give a stamp of approval on something that is not actually quality in how I know it could have been built, and thus within this, compromise myself by not taking a stand and simply no more accepting and allowing myself to cut corners just because this is the “fastest” way to do something.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear losing the company money by not cutting corners and within this, fear that my boss will make the connection to the loss of money to me, which I have accepted and allowed myself to define as a “negative thing” not taking into consideration that in the long run it is more practical to do things effectively and with integrity as this stand the test of time, which is actually not “negative” at all, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I must just cut corners and that “its too soon” to assert myself within not accepting and allowing any cutting of corners where in I insist that each project is built to its optimum potential.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself believe that if each project is built to its optimum potential that the company will lose money, but not really have anything to back up this idea that I have formed about this because I have not yet in fact taken on the point of testing what happens if I no longer cut corners but push myself to always do something effectively and thoroughly.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself and compromise my integrity by accepting and allowing myself to bend myself to the standards of others which are designed in the image and likeness of profit and making money and is not based within the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become less effective by patterning myself to do things quickly by cutting corners instead of insisting on perfection on every point.

I forgive myself for not realizing how I was accepting and allowing myself to compromise myself by just “going with the flow” believing that this is what is the most effective thing to do to learn how to be effective in the system, and to not question success.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to insist that things are built properly and permanently and with integrity where in if I am working on a project, that I start building them with the standards that I see are in fact best for all and are grounded in integrity.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to compromise my own craftsmanship through continuously building projects and taking part in projects where shortcuts are taken and to just go along with this and condition myself to this instead of always asking the question and exploring the point of “what will be the most effective way to direct this point so that it stand as a permanent point to facilitate the building of a system and a planet that is best for all”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through accepting and allowing myself to continually participate with the point of cutting corners in projects at work, condition myself within and as self compromise, because I am not standing up, and stating that I will not accept such a point and so conditioning myself to remain passive and support an inferior life expression where individuals are not always directing themselves to the best of their ability.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to push myself within my job so that I can establish effectiveness within and as my own application instead of just accepting the routines and patterns of others even if this means me limiting and compromising myself  instead of me directing myself to expand within my abilities and applications to become more effective within my world.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not even bother to try and assert myself within the point of building with integrity but to have more just moulded my ways to suit the movements of the company, even if this entail compromising myself and my integrity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place the blame outside of me and to have justified my application of “cutting corners” by insisting that this was because “I am working in the system” and that “it must be done” instead of stopping any such excuses and simply correcting myself within my application to in fact direct me in specificity and thoroughness and taking into consideration all points, and thus ensuring that what ever it is I am working with I am doing it to the best of my ability so that when I am done I can stand by what I have done and not waiver within any point.

I commit myself to pushing integrity building.

I commit myself to actually start the process of asserting myself within moments where I see that something is not being built effectively and shortcuts are being taken where in I in such moments assert myself to correct the point and ensure that effective integral building/work takes place, because I see that if I accept such points to continue I am accepting and allowing myself to limit and compromise myself, instead of pushing myself to become more effective within my application and develop patterns of integrity in all areas of my life.

I commit myself to start asserting myself within no more accepting and allowing myself to just accept “the way things are done because thats just how there done” but to take on the point for myself of ensuring that my participation is done in such a way where I am not compromising myself but ensuring that I am setting an effective example that things should just be done right the first time and cutting corners is simply not acceptable and that I will do this by ensuring that I am in fact not allowing myself to cut any corners on the job.

I commit myself to walking the process of correcting myself within my daily participations within my job/company where in I take on the point for myself to establish myself within a point of no more accepting and allowing myself to cut corners but simply doing what must be done no matter if it seems to take longer to do.

I commit myself to exploring and testing if in fact “there is enough time for that” where in I will challenge myself to be more effective in my application, as in more thorough and more specific, even if this means that it will require more time, and to push/direct myself to do this within my application on my job.

I have had enough of just doing things quickly to get done. I’d rather establish effective building patterns that stand within integrity and in this establish this point as myself as who I will walk as in the system or at least testing this out for myself to see if it is in fact possible as this is how Id rather direct myself, than to just accept that integrity cannot exist within the context of our current system and so just allow myself to go with the flow of cutting corners and just doing things fast and quick to get the money and get out.

 

desteni.org

eqafe.com

equalmoney.org

desteniiprocess.com

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