Self Support – An Artists Journey to Life: Day 15

 

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to be indifferent towards life and indifferent towards realizing myself as life.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not bother with effectively re-programming myself which consist of effective writing of self forgiveness and self corrective statements and also supporting myself more effectively within the written word where I through writing and re-defining each word as me so that each word as me stand within the context of life as what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to pass up investigating myself and getting to know and become aware of myself for just remaining the same and living how I have always lived in the same patterns and the same cycles, and thus by doing nothing different, I continue to actively program and pattern myself to live exactly as I always have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly look for ways in how I am failing. This due to me believing that I will fail, that I must fail, and so scrutinize myself my life and my application looking for failure to confirm that “yes I will fail, just like I always do, just like I thought”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to entertain not writing self forgiveness and self commitments each day as an application of self support, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live indifference, a point that I have lived and have accepted and allowed to sabotage my process where in I so easily just “let things slide” as I have accepted and allowed the point of indifference to become me within my application and thus live self neglect and ignorance instead of changing this/my pattern into one of Self Support and to for the first time in Life, Live actual Self Support and Self Care, consistently so that this becomes Me.

I forgive myself for not realizing I have been accepting and allowing myself to walk indifference and that it has infested my life like a virus where “things could go either way, it doesn’t really matter” instead of stopping such a point of myself of indifference as self neglect and correcting this point and instead living certainty and clarity in direction in my application and to thus live Self Support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be indifferent towards writing as self support and thus accepted and allowed myself to be indifferent towards actually realizing who I am as life because writing is the process through which I will assist and support myself to re-program myself into life that stand one and equal to life  and no more accept and allow abuse towards life as me in any way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be indifferent about self honesty, and in this literally ignore self honesty, a key component in my process of actually becoming life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore all of the aspects/components/tools by which I can support myself to stand as a self dignified life form and stand as an example for all to see and realize for/as themselves who we are as life as actual living/expression/expansion/exploration instead of existing always in fear, competition, limitation, judgement, addiction, secrets, fighting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to jump ship, where I will in a moment jump onto the ship of the mind in an attempt to escape from here, where in a split second I will grab onto a thought and take a ride on that thought and in the mind instead of remaining here with myself as breath in and as self direction within the process of birthing myself as life where I walk here as self direction in self honesty and directing myself within supporting myself to live/exist as/become what is best for all as who I am. And so, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hitch a ride on a thought in a moment where suddenly I will just jump on the closest thoughts and ride away into the mind going in a complete and total different direction then what I was going/standing as within standing here as breath and directing myself in self support.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize and see specifically when and how I apply myself within this “jumping ship” application where I in a single moment at any point within my day I will just grab onto a thought and go for a ride and ride away from here. Instead of remaining here in and as the physical where I am not existing in thoughts in and as my mind.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to attempt to flee when I am facing a point that I am resisting like writing or working on dip assignments or simply remaining here in self honesty, where I will suddenly turn and jump on a thought to “get the hell outta here” as an attempt to just drift away for a moment and not have to face myself and face the point I am resisting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue supporting the mind, through by continuing to accept and allow myself to participate with the mind within/as such applications of accepting and allowing myself to turn and jump on a thought and try and get the fuck outta here because I don’t want to face myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to resistance in the same way every time, and that I have accepted this “reaction” as normal. Where in I just “exist” here and catch the next thought into the mind so as to attempt to escape from here and facing myself within my practical reality and my practical responsibilities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this “reaction” of jumping on a thought to attempt to avoid facing myself here “normal” through by accepting and allowing myself to willingly consistently do this and thus pattern myself to have this be “normal” as an automatic reaction, and I forgive myself for not correcting myself within re-patterning myself to breath and face resistance and direct me to walk and push myself through that point of resistance and to do this consistently until this becomes my “normal” pattern and thus re-pattern myself to actually live what is in fact best for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my self effectiveness by accepting and allowing myself to continue participating with the application of “turning and catching a thought into the mind” as a way to escape from facing myself and as a my routine defence mechanism reaction that comes in when facing resistance or meeting with a resistance point.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to expand myself as self responsibility where I start to live self responsibility in more parts of my world, not just when “I am at work”

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live self responsibility and find out what this is really like and to actually develop this point As Myself where I Walk Self Responsibility within my world and not just here and there and sometimes, which is not really walking self responsibility but more only doing this periodically when I really have to.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to expand myself as self responsibility  into my total reality where I am living this more thoroughly in my life and world. Through by living this consistently and thus patterning myself to live/become/be self responsibility.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to dare to live self responsibility in and as my total living expression of me consistently within and as Self Support which means within an application where the patten that emerge as me within my walking is in fact Self Responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be indifferent to taking self responsibility, and living this more thoroughly in my day to day, moment to moment application of myself.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to not really know what its like to actually live as Self Responsibility as Life where this is self responsibility is lived in relation to self honesty where I walk this as my moment to moment application and bring this point of self responsibility to encompass more aspects of my world, not just “when I have to”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define living/walking Self Responsibility as Hard and thus cringe within myself and start to go into resistance within considering the point of becoming walking this point of Self Responsibility until it become a part/aspect of who I am as I have actually lived/walked self responsibility consistently and constantly within my world until is simply become who I am , where In I always walk/stand within and as self responsibility and direct myself in self responsibility within what is best for all.

And thus – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist doing what is best for me and walking/living Self Support as what is actually best for me .

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live my realization that if I live inconsistency, and falling, and giving up, then this is what I become and pattern myself as. And if I live consistency in my standing day by day then this is what I pattern myself as.

In essence, what ever I consistently live, I become, and thus I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consistently live giving in and giving up and indifference, instead of self honesty and self responsibility where in I stand within self support as the process of birthing myself as a life within the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to consistently live self neglect instead of self support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly allow myself to fall and give up, and so thus train myself into this pattern, instead of re-training me so that my pattern support me and support life and support my physical body and stand within self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to train myself to fail, through by constantly accepting and allowing myself to live failure as giving in and not doing what is in fact best for me, and that I have aided this entire process with indifference.

I commit myself to starting over and walking consistently as self responsibility so that I can train myself and pattern myself to live/walk/become self responsibility, instead of what I had accepted and allowed myself to live previously which was indifference and giving in and allowing the mind. Thus I commit myself to starting again and establishing effective patterns of self support.

I commit myself stop living my programmed reaction defence mechanism to resistance which is to just turn the fuck around and get the fuck outta here by jumping on the next thought that comes by and whisking myself off into the mind in an attempt to hide from taking responsibility and in this, condition and pattern myself as indifference and thus I stop this application of indifference and instead I face the resistance and push/walk through it and thus assist and support myself to walk and re-pattern myself to live Taking Self Responsibility for myself and Live doing what is actually best for myself.

I commit myself to pattern myself to consistently live/walk/apply what is actually best for me, which is for me to support myself to stand/walk/live within equality and oneness and what is best for all.

I commit myself to when I want to give up, push myself through that wanting to give up and walk through that wanting to give up so that I can re-pattern myself to actually live/walk/stand as self strength and no more accept and allow myself to support my patterning of me as giving up and giving in.

I Commit myself to working with myself within this principle of what I ever I consistently walk I  pattern myself to become and within this to direct myself to walk consistency within self support in doing what is actually best for me which is to walk what is best for all, so that this is who I pattern myself as, and thus to support myself to change/transform myself as my current patterning of giving in and indifference, and thus reform myself to become effective within self support.

I commit myself to turning the corner and to actually Live/walk Self Support as Myself.

I commit myself to Making Self Support the Foundation of my walking and living.

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