Caught Up in Keeping Up – An Artists Journey to Life: Day 7

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to move at my own pace from the perspective of being self honest within my application of writing my Journey to Life daily self forgiveness blogs where it’s not about just keeping up or competing in relation to others but “moving at my own pace” from the perspective of ensuring that I am Here and Stable as the pace of breathing naturally to ensure that I do not end up locked into anxiety when writing from the starting point of racing or just doing it to keep up.

I forgive myself to write self forgiveness from the starting point of “to not fall behind”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will move slower and thus “fall behind” and within this belief end up experiencing and going into anxiety because I fear falling behind and believe at the same time that this is inevitable due to me be slower than everyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to make myself go faster not taking into consideration that it is not about how much I write, it is about the content within what I write from the perspective of having it be actually self supportive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not changing, and to write from the starting point of this fear which cause me to write in desperation where I end up just trying to write and write and write and not effectively being Here as the words I am writing and being Here with Myself in silence and self presence to support myself effectively within and as my writing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel/believe that I must keep up with everyone else otherwise I am not being self honest and in this not taking into consideration the practicality of my day to day living and to establish an effective pattern of writing that assist and support me within the context of my practical reality instead of writing to just keep up with others.

I forgive myself for not realizing/seeing that to write from the starting point of “believing and feeling” that I must keep up with everyone else that I am missing the most vital part of all – Myself, where in I write from the starting of Myself as me transforming myself to stand in the image and likeness of equality and oneness and what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself by attempting to keep up with everyone who is writing their daily journey to life blogs and in this not realizing that I am not actually supporting myself because all I am doing is writing from the starting point of “keeping up with everyone else” which is competition and within this not really working effectively and patiently with myself where in I am actually slowing down and in this actually getting to Here and being Here when I write and thus walking, living, and breathing Self Patients.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to rush within my writing of my journey to life blogs because I have placed more value and importance on “keeping up with everyone else” than actually assisting and supporting myself effectively within these blogs so I am actually walking Here with points that come up as myself during my day.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize and see and in this stop this subtle shift that take place where I shift into this point of “trying to keep up” instead of sticking with me when and as I write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become concerned about what other people are writing in their blogs from the perspective of jealousy and in this sabotage my effectiveness within my own writing process because it then becomes about comparison and competition with others related to my own fear of me not being able to change instead realizing my ability to actually change and standing one and equal to others within this point of being able to assist and support myself to change.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to be Self Honest with Myself in relation to writing these 7 years Journey to Life blogs in relation to finding a practical application of self writing that works effectively within the context of my reality instead of just trying to “keep up” and in this “keeping up” ignoring my physical reality and thus attempt to and try to enforce and/or impose a system/ pattern of writing without considering the practical functionality of my world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on this 7 year Journey to Life process from the starting point of competition.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to work with myself and establish a self honest pace with which to walk so that I actually support myself in my writing.

I forgive myself for not realizing that I am still able to be self disciplined and push and challenge myself within my Journey to Life Blogs without requiring to “keep up with everyone else” as a baselin, where in the blogs end up being done just to keep up, instead of being done from the starting point of actual self support and self exploration in getting to know myself Here as how and who I am existing as.

One of the primary experiences, if not thee primary experience I have experienced within and as myself since starting this process of the 7 years Journey to Life blogs is haste. I have not been as Here, and stable with myself while I was writing my blogs but more was feeling/being influenced from a kind of pressure to “keep up” with everyone and that if I were to fall behind than this means that I am not being self honest, or am failing. I see that I am the one who would be creating that “pressure” which influence me.

So one of the main points I am seeing here is the point of competition where this is one of the points that has immediately surfaced since starting this process.

I was finding that my blogs were not as effective as I wanted them to be. In fact I was quite dissatisfied with them. I was not allowing myself to pace myself so to speak but went into this point of immediate rushing and haste instead of slowing myself down to earth, the pace of the physical, the pace of the earth and grounding myself with brEath in in Earthing myself in my application and flow  and in this give myself the opportunity to see myself and being able to “take myself apart effectively”

So this is a point I see I must work with. Thus.

I commit myself to taking my time with myself / grounding myself  as I walk my 7 years Journey to Life Blogs. I allow myself to take my time so that I actually assist and support myself. This is a Key = Actual Self Support.

I commit myself to slowing down realizing that I must do these writings for myself so that the support come through and within this establish some stability within my writing process where in my writings become consistently supportive.

This is a point I have struggled with. I have done writings consistently but a point that has been missing is “consistent support” within the “consistent writing” I see this point of me getting caught up in anxiety (anxHIGHety) instead of remaining grounded and here,

When and as I see myself in, or starting to go into that experience of rushing or haste or anxiety with regards to my journey to life writings or within my application in any way, I stop and I breathe. I realize that to walk Here as Breath as Self Presence and in this Slow myself down is the most effective way for me to walk as then I will not just glaze over everything and in essence miss everything. Thus Before I write I ask myself the question.  Am I Actually Here. To ensure that I am in fact Here before I write.

I do not accept and allow myself to continue living out and participating within competition.

I commit myself explore and investigate this point of competition and how competition actually sabotage self as in this case, because I went into the point of competition, instead of being here and being able to See Myself actually , I was racing away in competition/mind and not effectively seeing myself nor slowing myself down and grouding/earthing me effectively to actually walk points in a self supportive way.

So this is a key point that I commit myself to working with and in this Establishing Patience for and as myself within my walking. This does not imply not disciplining or not challenging or pushing myself. I realize that I am able to walk in pushing my self discipline and challenging myself within my process of writing as I walk Self Patience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I require to compete against others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to automatically go into competition against others and want to win.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I do not win, that I am not worthy or valuable.

I forgive myself for not realizing I am able to live as equality as here with others where no winning/losing exist as I stop the point of competing “against” others as I see/realize/understand that this is in fact separation instead of allowing myself to accept all that is here as Myself.

 

I forgive myself for not realizing that to compete is to only compete against myself as Self as Life is ALL that is Here as everything that is here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have separated myself from myself and then compete with these separated aspects of me, believing that they are in fact separate from me and that it is actually possible to win, not taking into consideration that all that is here is Life as Me.

I forgive myself for not allowing myself to see and consider others as Myself from the perspective of equality and oneness.

I commit myself to understanding how to live/exist, and express me within the principle of equality and oneness to no more live/exist within competition but to instead find ways to express and direct myself within the principle of what is best for all life in all ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to bowl my way through self forgiveness using my Ego attempting to force self change and not realize that Life cannot tricked or short cutted, or forced it must be real and self honest.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am innately flawed from the perspective of there being Ego somewhere hidden within me always in everything that I do.

I forgive myself for not realizing that if I see clearly all aspects of myself and me in every moment then the ego has no place to hide as I see every nook and cranny that is me.

I commit myself to push for self clarity where I transform relationships and points of uncertainty and automation into self awareness and clarity by going through the points/myself in writing to investigate and getting to know myself.

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