An Artists Journey to Life: Day 3 – The Responsibility of Me as Words

The Responsibility of Me as Words.

A point that has pre-occupied me since I began taking on this “Journey To Life” point is that I decided to write my blog under as pseudonym as “An Artists Journey To Life”. This makes me feel less than or inferior to those that are doing this under their “Real Names” I can see how this point is not valid for me to participate with such an experience as it is not really about “Me” per se, from the perspective of the Ego/Self Interest. It is about “Me” actually as me assisting and supporting myself in self honesty within my process of walking this journey for myself. So I see that there is an aspect of me “wanting to post under my own name” that is just Ego. At the same time I experience some relief as well in doing this not under my name as in the past I have experienced some uncertainty in posting my blogs on facebook in terms of how that would affect my “professional life”

So I am seeing here that this point brings up an aspect of failure within myself, like I have failed or am not as good as the others who are able to do this in their own name. I see here also that I have accepted this as a point of limitation for myself that this actually matters with regards to supporting myself.

So here this is the point I am going to explore with Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that this is not about the name I use, as it is not about recognition or importance as an individual, it is about actual self support done in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by what others think about what I am writing instead of realizing that what I am doing is supporting myself to actually stand up and let go of my self accepted limitations and take back my directive principle of myself so that I can prove to myself that we as humans are in fact able to be and become more than what we are currently living and existing as.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to connect a negative energetic charge to writing my journey to life blogs under a pseudonym, as I have connected this with a form of failure where one does not use their real name.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to connect using a pseudonym to a negative energy and using your real name to a positive energy because of seeing those that post under their real name as being “stronger” (positive)and thus within posting under a pseudonym is a sign of being weaker (negative)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself as “stronger” than those who use pseudonyms because I have posted under my real name, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take this name point as a way to assert myself as Ego where in I utilized this entire aspect of me using my real name as a way to boost my ego and attempt to validate me as ego as better than and more important, and so now with faced with the point of using a pseudonym I am in essence facing my own creation of value that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate with  within myself

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that this process is not about “attempting to validate yourself” or create a false Idea of who self is. It is rather actual self support and actual self validation that only exist within the point of actually becoming self honest as Life, and that this cannot be shortcutted or faked or believed, it can only be real, and that implies one/I must walk the in fact process of self realization step by step so that I come to know myself as who I am as life in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to limit myself by believing that it is better to use your real name and that if you do you are more powerful or stronger and thus more capable, and those that use pseudonyms are weaker and less capable and thus limited.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize that it is not about what name you use, it is about Self Honesty and how you support you. And that this can be real no matter if the context allows one to utilize their real name or a pseudonym within the practical self honest consideration of the moment of which is more effective to use. It is simply a self honest point and thus, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define using a pseudonym within a point of limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that one can only really be self honest if they are using their real name and thus have trapped myself in my own self accepted and limitation that I am somehow limited because I have taken on the journey to life point under a blog that does not state my full name in full view, where I have defined this as a sign of weakness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto this point of believing that if I do not use my real name that I will limit myself within this process instead of just taking the time to actually walk this process for some time to get some actual real-time feedback before I make a decision that is only based on a projected outcome that isn’t in fact here or have been walked at all but that is just a projection of what I believe will happen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that this pseudonym point will cause me to fail, and thus I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear failing and because of this go into an absolute point of control where I want every point to be in place perfectly and if I think or believe something is out of place, I experience quite a reaction to this as I fear that this will cause my inevitable failure and so thus am seeing here that a fundamental component of this reaction I have to using a pseudonym is my actual belief and fear of my certain failure within walking this point.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that if I do not use my real name, that I will have to do everything all over again, which suggests that everything and anything I write within this pseudonym is not valid in any way what so ever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what I write not being valid, which I see is connected to the point of fear of failure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my words having now impact or affect on who I am or my reality because I fear being trapped and stuck and not being able to change and that if my words have no affect or influence on me or my reality than this implies that I am stuck and trapped and have not power.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not having any power or ability to actually support me to transform myself into and as life so that I actually exist as a real being that stand within and as that which is best for all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear invalidating myself by an accident.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am not able to actually become real and that everything I write is somehow flawed because I am flawed and thus is not real or valid in any way, and thus I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to actually recognize myself as capable of walking this journey to life and actually becoming real as I see this as such a “grand task”

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that “there must be something wrong” with what I do and what I write where in, at this stage when I see myself, I see someone who is flawed and not able to capable to express himself/myself as life in self honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from my ability to express and write me as an actual real expression of life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as who I am currently existing as my current expression of life

So what I am seeing here is that this pseudonym point is actually linked to my/a fear of failure and a Fear of Not being real or being able to become real. I see myself as the words I write as not being valid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the words I write as not being valid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simply invalidate my words because I fear taking responsibility for myself within the point of “what if my words were actually valid” which implies that I am a responsible being and that my words actually have power.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to realize the power within my own words.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to dismiss my words as being effective.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to hold onto the belief that I am not actually able to support myself within what I write and so within myself dismiss everything I write as being trivial.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself by dismissing my words and what I write as trivial.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking responsibility for myself and so within this simply avoid doing this by dismissing my words as trivial and meaningless as this way I do not have to actually take responsibility for myself and can continue existing within the point of ignorance is bliss.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to become accountable for my own words as the words I write and speak, and within this take responsibility for the words I use and speak and write where I no longer just accept and allow myself to use words carelessly and how ever I want without any consideration of the impact or creational outflow the words I use has on this reality and myself, and thus I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to take absolute self responsibility for the words as me to ensure that everything as myself as the words I speak, write and consist of stand within the principle of what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to continue using words in self interest instead of taking responsibility for each and every word as who I am.

I forgive myself for not accepting and allowing myself to validate my own words and recognize my own words and within this take responsibility for myself within daring to give/realize the power of my words as me accepting my ability as creator and my responsibility that I have to direct myself in every moment within that which is best for all and thus to ensure that the power that I hold/wield as the words I am, and speak and write, and express are always done precisely and specifically to support/ direct myself to take responsibility for ALL aspects of myself as the Universe that I am starting with each and every word I consist of and express as me. And to make sure that each word as me is and has been placed by me and not just some automatic point that I have not deliberately placed as myself as an act of self creation of me to ensure that all of me including each and every word I express forms relationships of support that stand within and as the principle of what is best for all.

I commit myself to take responsibility for the words I write and no longer accept and allow myself to exist/consist as and participate with words of abuse from the perspective where I simply continue to allow myself to just blurt out anything and not have any regard or consideration for how that word actually affect and influence and create what is here. Thus

When and as I see myself not being specific with my words or lazy or careless with my words, I stop and breath. I stand by my commitment to take absolute and full responsibility for the words that is me as the words that I write, speak, communicate, exist as / express and live. I realize that this is a necessary step within my process of me taking responsibility for myself is that I take responsibility for all the words that I speak, communicate, exist as at all times, which is something that I have not yet accepted and allowed myself to do for myself as the process of taking responsibility for myself as the absolute specific directive principle of me. I take responsibility for my words and ensure that what I express and participate within as the words that is me is done responsibility and within the context of taking responsibility for each and every single word that is me and to no more accept and allow myself to not take responsibility for my words or to attempt to dismiss my words as not being valid when this is simply a point of self neglect, and thus I Support Myself instead of neglecting myself and take responsibility for me as the words I speak and redirect myself as each word that is me so that it stand as life as what is best for all.

I realize that it is easy to dismiss ones words because then I do not have to take responsibility for them and responsibility for myself. I no longer accept and allow this but instead assist and support myself to take back my directive principle of myself as a Living Participant / Creator of me and life in every moment  by taking back and Standing within my Responsibility for myself as the words I express no matter if they are outloud, spoken, written, or silent within me or implied within my body language or lived as actions or inactions. The point is to take responsibility for ALL words as myself in all the various forms within which words exist as me. I realize the importance of taking responsibility for the words that are me as part of the process of taking Full and Absolute Responsibility for Myself as a living being here on Earth within my Journey to Life so that I stand as myself in all ways within and as the that which is best for all.

I Commit myself to give myself the gift of self responsibility by taking responsibility for every word that is me, no more accepting and allowing myself to abuse myself and life by accepting and allowing myself to exist as words that are based in self interest and abuse life. I Give myself the gift of taking responsibility for my words which is actually the Gift of Me because within taking responsibility for my words I am becoming the directive principle and thus directive creator of myself and so am able to move and direct me as life instead of abdicating this power and in this having no ability in create or direct myself at all.

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