New People Feel so Alien to Me – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 605

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I just got home from a weekend at home visiting family. One of the main points I noticed while being back was my unwillingness to actually initiate conversations with the people that I was visiting with. I found that instead I was rather not wanting to communicate or interact and was more interested in finding ways to end the conversations I would be having rather than finding things to communicate about.

I have always had this kind of anti-social personality/character and eventually friends and family have come to expect that from me.

I find it interesting that people actually put up with it and still do their best to interact with me. I am grateful for that. A point that came up during this visit is the point of ‘missed opportunities’ and how I was experiencing myself missing out on these opportunities to get to know other people, and that those opportunities won’t always be there.

I identified this anti-social character some years ago and made some efforts to transform this point so that I was actually more willing, stable and comfortable interacting with others and in some ways I did do that, though over the past few years I have noticed that I have more and more been regressing back to how I used to be in accepting and allowing myself to be this anti-social character.

One thing that I have noticed is that I am quite uncomfortable around ‘strangers’ and I go into the ‘get me out of here’ mode.

There are a few people in my world that I am comfortable with and I am most comfortable alone. When I am alone I find I am actually able to relax and just be comfortable where when I am with other people I find I am just tense which becomes a somewhat uncomfortable experience. I find I am most comfortable also with my immediate family. When I am with them, I still experience it as if I am just here with myself, but anyone outside this and I become much more tense and uncomfortable.

I realize that this is just a character/personality I have constructed throughout my life which I am accepting and allowing for it to assert itself within my life now and I haven’t really taken on this point of working with this point effectively to step out of this character.

During this last visit home, I saw a good example of how in allowing myself to exist within this anti-social character that I am really not allowing myself to Live in moments where I allow myself to engage in those moments to simply converse and get to know other beings.

You know whats strange – that when I see new people, I see them as so distant from me. Like so ‘inaccessible’. Like they are aliens/so alien to me. Lol. That’s funny because I actually do see the point that this is not really the case from the perspective that really – people are just people. But what I find is that a new person is like…………anxietyyyyyyyyyyy……….because its like this entire other existence in front of me that seems so foreign and strange and so alien and its like OMG where do I start and so I feel obliged to just ignore them. This perception I hold of other people I suspect comes from my history of never actually much approaching people ‘cold turkey’ and just saying Hello and start engaging in a conversation. I don’t mean some random person on the street but like someone at a party or some social gathering. Its like I never considered “its ok to be open and communicative with people” .

Ok so here is a bit of exploring this ‘anti-social character’

 

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Ok so here is a bit of exploring this ‘anti-social character’

 

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Education Disparity Between the Rich and Poor – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 604

One point that I have been investigating more closely in recent weeks is the relationship between Self Development and Words/Vocabulary.

In this I have been looking at ‘who I am’ in relation to this point and investigating what is the relationship between ‘who I am’ and the words I know and the definitions of those words.

I mean, It is said in the beginning of the bible that “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God”

If I look around my room, everything I see has a word associated with it.

Its like just me sitting here in my room its like there are thousands of words all around me

Pillow
Bed
Desk
Chair
Window
Carpet
Paper
And then we go and even give things that are not physical words also
Happy
Sad
Worried
Satisfied
Ect…

I remember I never really became interested in reading until high school and college.
In my younger years, I don’t remember really having an interest for it.

I also remember reading, spelling, and language was not my strong point and I have had to now later in my life really make a point of working on my reading, writing, and communication.

In some of the most recent studies I have been reading on the relationship of vocabulary and early childhood development, that it is suggested that by the time a child reaches the age where they are ready to enter school, that “its already too late” meaning that the damage could already be done in terms of a childs ability to now develop effectively in their life.

Interesting that this is only coming out Now?

I mean, how long have we been on this planet?
How many generations of children have we raised?

Yet we still are at a point where we really don’t understand how we ourselves function.

Another interesting aspect of the studies I have been reading about is the point of low income vs high income families where they are finding children in higher income families are at an early age learning more words and thus developing at a more rapid pace where those in low income families are actually falling behind and this is being detected already at the age of 18 months.

Here is a link to one of the studies I found on this - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLoEUEDqagQ&feature=share

This has to do with obviously the education level of the parent also where children that hear more words due to having more highly educated parents are thus then developing more effectively.

From a certain perspective the Solution is actually quite simple in terms of one of the key components of childhood development being identified as words, so thus then parents can take a more active role in engaging their children in this crucial learning building block of a who a child will eventually become based on their level of vocabulary.

But on the other hand we have quite a problem because of the income disparity that is currently existing in our world where you have a small percentage of the population earning all the income with the majority struggling to get by.

And so we have created a kind of vicious cycle where then those children born into high income families will automatically have a greater opportunity to have a successful life where those born into lower income families are at a disadvantage and so the rich get richer and poor get poorer where at the moment there is absolutely no such thing as equal opportunity.

So what can be done about such an epidemic.

I would suggest to investigate the Living Income Guarantee Proposal. LIG is a proposed amendment of our current system to include a Guaranteed Income For All to end poverty and to provide a dignified Life for all which thus also would include/facilitate proper education because what evidence is suggesting is that millions and millions of individuals are not being properly educated which is having a detrimental impact on their quality of life and that based on the research that I have been investigating of late, one of the primary contributing factors in this is income level with those with lower income levels ending up with more severe learning deficiencies that limit their ability to actually become strong, effective, contributing members of society.

Now based on the ratio of low income to high income families, Id say we have quite a problem on our hands and thus which is why I highly recommend a Solution like the Living Income Guaranteed because this particular Solution is in fact addressing the enormity of the situation we have created for ourselves where if you look at other proposed ‘solutions’ like various other social programs like food stamps or welfare and things like that –they are merely acting as bandages on a fatal wound that requires a much more Global Consideration in terms of implementing a Solution that will actually correct the problem once and for all.

 

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Understanding The Fine Print – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 603

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In my last blog I was explaining the suggested process that was introduced in the most recent “Soul of Money” Interviews on Eqafe about the point of how to develop ones ‘Business Resolve’.

Now in the interviews it was suggested to investigate for oneself the points of

Business

Money

People

And in doing this to assist and support oneself to align ones relationship with these particular points in a way that stand equal and one with what is necessary to be able to run an effective business, thus here in realigning such relationships one will/would in effect be walking the process of developing and establishing ones ‘Business Resolve’.

In my last blog I briefly talked about my relationship with ‘People’ and how this relationship that I have towards the point of people is in fact somewhat dysfunctional where it is not standing/existing in such a way which would assist and support me within the necessary dimensions of running a business when it comes the aspect of ‘people’ within the context of how this related to running a business.

Today I realized another point of dysfunction within myself in relation to another one of the points that was mentioned in the interview.

The point is Business.

Now what I see is that each of these points; Business, Money, People, I have ultimately disempowered myself in relation to, throughout how I have accepted and allowed myself to live and program myself throughout my life and each points I am certain contain various dimensions that require to be addressed, walked through specifically in detail and corrected. Here, however I am more just sharing some of the more obvious points that have come up within me within simply looking at these points over the past few days.

Initially I wasn’t completely clear on the point of ‘business’ and I did not see anything prominently revealing itself as my main dysfunction so to speak, as the primary points I required  to work with and correct. Though today I realized just this.

So how am I not standing in and Equal and One relationship to the point of Business in such a way where I am able to simply walk the necessary points related to business in a way that facilitate me living an effective, stable business resolve?

I don’t like to read the fine print!

And this I see would actually be of great benefit in relation to becoming effective within oneself in relation to the point of business. To me “reading the fine print” is in a way quite symbolic of “The System”

Throughout my life growing up, this point of ‘reading the fine print’ or simply having the awareness to process information effectively, particularly when this pertains to “The System” was never part of my upbringing. Of course this was ‘important’ but it was never impressed upon me in a way where I understood the seriousness of what was at stake so to speak, and this in part had an affect on my life in this world, on my life in this system.

I ended up taking the ‘Artist Route’ within my life and I never liked ‘dealing with the system’ this was a limitation I accepted about myself and because “I never liked dealing with the system” I ended up becoming fucked by it.

I ended up with bad credit, lots of debt, behind in my taxes, no health care, working jobs where I lived paycheck to paycheck , overall, not really understanding how to actually navigate our current system effectively. Interestingly, I ended up this way, because I insisted “I did not like reading the fine print” or simply reading and understanding the information pertaining the proper functionality of an individual within this system. I mean my life could have actually been much different all the way up to how much money I earn monthly if I would have grasped the importance on understanding the fine print of this world. And so this is where I see my biggest accepted and allowed dysfunction that requires to be corrected in relation to the point of Business – because explicitly, business functions and operates in alignment with the rules, regulations and fine print of the system and so I see, realize, and understand that this is a point I must correct so to be able to stand within an equal and one relationship with the point of business so to be able to do what is necessary to make that particular point work and exist effectively. So I realize I must become affluent in the fine print, in reading, and comprehending the rules and regulations of the system so to be able to align the necessary points to position oneself and thus if necessary ones business in such a way that is most fortunate and advantageous.

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Correcting My Relationship to People – An Artists Journey To Life : Day 602

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Today I listened to the latest “Soul of Money” Interview on Eqafe. The main point being discussed was business ‘Resolve’, looking at the dimensions within why some people have more resolve while others have less.

Within the detailing of the ‘Solution’ placed to support individuals to develop their business resolve one suggestion was to have a look at the 3 priority components of building a business as outlined in the interview as 1. Business, 2. Money, 3. People. I would definitely recommend having a listen to this latest series of interviews on ‘building a business’ on eqafe as it goes into depth and specificity in relation to this specific relationship of 1.Business, 2.Money, 3.People.

In the interview it was mentioned as part of the process of developing ones ‘business Resolve,’ to ‘come to terms’ with  these 3 components  so that one does not have any hang-ups in relation to any of these points so that one can direct oneself in an equal and one relationship within them and in this simply do what is needed to be done without having reactions coming up due to how one had established ones relationship to any of these points (business/money/people).

So in looking at each of these 3 points, I can see I am definitely not standing within an equal and one relationship with these points from the perspective of being able to direct myself effectively in the necessary ways that is needed to run/contribute in a business. And I mean this is a problem that I have faced previously also.

The point that stood out to me in terms of where I see the most obvious dysfunctions is in relation to the point of ‘People’. I have found throughout my life that my ‘natural’ tendency was to avoid people and this ‘approach’ is actually detrimental to functioning effectively within a business because I am unwilling to navigate the human-to-human relationship side of establishing/running/participating within a business due to how I have accepted and allowed myself to create/program myself throughout my life in relation to the point of ‘people’, where my ‘preferences’ I have programmed into me is not in fact supportive, and in no way facilitate the point of functioning effectively within a business.

So I require to address this point as well as ‘come to terms’ with the other 2 components mentioned (business, money). Doing this to clear myself so that I can stand in an Equal and One relationship within these 3 primary components of the business dynamic so that I am able to become effective in this point. So to do this I will be walking a process of Writing, Self Forgiveness, and Self Corrective Application to realign myself within and as this/these point(s).

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Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution for a Failing Capitalism
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Some Changes in My Writing Process – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 601

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So here I am going to write my blog and just see what is here. I have not written my blog in 5 days which is the longest stretch of time of not writing since I started this process of ‘daily writing’.

Within myself I reached a point where I just ‘could not write anymore’. What I mean specifically by this is that I made a decision a couple weeks ago to let go of the point of ‘writing daily’ or ‘close to daily’. Up to that time I was much more strict with myself to write daily only ever missing a day or 2 in between where it was ‘really rare’ to ‘almost never’ where Id miss 3 days in a row. But then about 2 or 3 weeks ago I reached a point within myself of ‘letting go of this point’.

This decision was made in relation to my process thus far and a few points that was coming up during that time.

One of the points was my experience in relation to ‘writing a daily blog’ where it seemed that ‘the number’ was of more value to me than the actual content of the blog I was writing.

So I pushed this point within myself by deliberately not writing my blog every day because then what would take place is that “I would fall behind” in terms of how I was noticing that I was so preoccupied and focused on this point of comparison and competition and so that was one of the points that I was playing with that initially was part of the longer lay-off with my blog.

But ultimately a point that came up within me was in relation to my actual own personal process and how yes, I was quite focused and I would even say ‘caught up’ with or ‘possessed’ by making sure I was ‘writing daily’ but then yet within all this, within after even writing nearly 600 blogs what I was finding was that still, after all this, I was still not moving effectively within my process and fundamentally I was not changing. And so it was in relation to this that I just said to myself “Ok, I am just going to let this point go and see what happens” where this kind of a point of changing it up and a point of also questioning in a way – Why am I not changing. And so I did not ‘care’ so much if I posted a daily blog where I was rather more caring about “ok wtf is going on here – why am I not changing’ and so I just let go of that point of ‘writing daily’ in terms of my blog anyways. I continued to write for myself and just paused for a moment on the daily publishing of a blog, to see if I noticed any changes.

In a way I was kind of ‘at a loss’ as well for what was going on and so thus when it came to writing I was obviously more comfortable just writing to myself because then I would not have to worry about confusing anyone else because I mean, I was ‘at a loss’ with points within myself and so the pause with the blogging and then just doing the writing for myself was more just to ‘get back to myself’ and/or get some clarity.

Overall I am satisfied with the journey to life blog writing process so far for if anything, supporting me to become a more effective writer. I am by no means that great, but I am getting a strong grasp on the basic process of writing and that alone is worth the blogging.

So I have decided to write here after about 5 days. And will continue (of course) walking my Journey To Life and using this space to assist myself in my process to get to understand me, understand the world, educate, share, expand, investigate, and become effective within my process – this process – of Self Change and Self Transformation.

At the end of the day The process of Self Transformation is clearly necessary on earth. I have not been as effective at it as I would have liked but I know that these blogs and this process of daily writing has been undeniably Supportive.

 

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Equal Life Foundation - Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Solutions.
Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution for a Failing Capitalism
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Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs.

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Creating Heaven On Earth – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 600

Beaver Building Dam

So the last few days I have been allot more in my mind, in thoughts, feelings and emotions. As a result things in my reality have appeared allot more troubling or hopeless or simply overall resembling or reflecting  more my inner experiences of and as the mind which I have found during these last few days I have been accessing the more ‘negative’ dimensions of myself.

I read a cool perspective today on the point of “bringing heaven to earth” What I saw within this is that heaven is essentially one and equal with and as the mind in terms of the ethereal nature of these points because if you look at ‘heaven’ or even ‘hell’ for that matter as conceived in religion  – its not actually real and here. It exist as an idea, as an imagination essentially, which is the same as the mind where yes one might see pictures in the mind but these pictures are not actually here – they exist more in an ethereal framework that is not actually HERE and Physical in and as this Reality.

So what does it mean to actually ‘Live Heaven on Earth’ – Well, simplistically it means to get out of your head and start living and expressing here in and as the physical. Because what I have found for myself is that I conditioned myself to exist in and as my mind without this having a real solid direct relationship to EARTH. And this creates a problem because we get so caught up in our heads and believing what is going on in our minds that we don’t actually realize that that is not real. To some extent we understand that, but we still have not fully comprehended the necessity to actually Live HERE in the Physical and to align and focus our living and attention to being practically physically HERE.

So as I mentioned in the beginning of this blog, for the last few days I was more existing in my ethereal mental reality which I realize I have conditioned myself to become accustomed to which I am at the moment currently walking a process of realigning myself to Physical Living. And so within existing more in my mind these past few days, I became pre-occupied with my ‘experience’ where even my experience of myself became allot more intense and I started to stress and worry allot more about my life and I lost touch with the Earth as my grounding point. Meaning – In my case, I was worrying allot about work among other areas of my life, and in this worry I stopped applying myself effectively in the Physical on the Earth – Doing those actions that is necessary to be done to support myself within what I am capable of doing to practically live that which I see is the physical actions I require to do to best support myself.

So when that point was mentioned about ‘bringing heaven to earth’ I realized that that is exactly what I required to do. To get out of my mental heaven(positive) and Hell(negative) and get back into the Physical (HERE). And getting back to those daily practical actions that is actually creating my life.

 

 

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Why Do I Always Wait so Long Before I Take Action – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 599

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I am going to continue here opening up a point I have been exploring this past week and have been looking at in recent blogs.

This ‘Point’ can be seen within the question – “Why do we wait until the last possible minute to do things”

This I see more specifically relates to responsibilities and/or obligations where I have noticed that I will tend to be more likely to postpone such points instead of doing them straight away.

So I am here looking at this point of “Why do I wait until the last possible minute to do things?”

I have noticed that this pattern of ‘waiting till the last possible minute’ has become more of theme in my life in terms of where I am noticing this more, and so here am assisting and supporting myself to give this point Direction so that I can align my Living in a way where I am more ‘pro-active’ in my daily living rather than often waiting for things to get to the stage of where it’s like ‘the last possible moment’ or where ‘it’s almost too late’ or where for instance now because I have waited for so long before directing a particular point that now there is stress within me when I finally ‘decide’ to direct the points because I have placed myself in a position where I have very little margin for error, or not allot of ‘breathing room’ because I waited until the last possible moment to direct the point instead of directing the points when I noticed them coming up in a manner where I give myself ample time to complete/direct the points so I can take my time with it and simply do a thorough effective job.

Within waiting until the last possible moment to direct myself within my responsibilities and obligations I see that I am existing in a point where I am being directed by my reality instead of being Self-Directive.
In essence waiting until the physical conditions of my reality are demanding that I now move myself in a way pushing/forcing or even motivating me into action instead of Me being and becoming this point of Self Movement for myself where I develop the point/pattern of becoming pro-active in directing myself in my responsibilities and obligations which I see is where I develop the ability to actually do things when they come up instead of allowing myself to perpetuate the pattern of going through the progressive stages of procrastination where I will wait, and wait some more, and wait just a little more where I will allow this process of procrastination to become my normal way of directing myself in my reality.

So I must look at why I do this, and thus to re-align myself to move from intention to immediacy – where I stop ‘intending to do something eventually’ and simply ‘immediately direct’ a point when it comes up.

I will continue in my next blog with walking the Self Forgiveness In relation to this point.

DIP Lite - Free Online Course to get you started with learning the Tools of Self Support
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desteni.org - Participate in Forums or Search the Vast Desteni Material
eqafe.com - Invest in a wide range of Interviews and Support yourself to Self Perfection
Equal Life Foundation - Facebook Stream for Unfolding Events and Solutions.
Living Income Guaranteed – An Economic Solution for a Failing Capitalism
Creations Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs
Heavens Journey To Life 7 Year Process Blogs.

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